Every Movie I've Ever Watched #3

by FlamezOfGamez | created - 7 months ago | updated - 4 days ago | Public

Summer 2020 - Spring 2021 List started 6-16-2020.

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1. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

G | 100 min | Family, Fantasy, Musical

67 Metascore

A poor but hopeful boy seeks one of the five coveted golden tickets that will send him on a tour of Willy Wonka's mysterious chocolate factory.

Director: Mel Stuart | Stars: Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum, Roy Kinnear

Votes: 178,431 | Gross: $4.00M

I think it may have a bit messed up of a moral compass, but I can't deny a masterpiece.

2. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

PG | 115 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family

72 Metascore

A young boy wins a tour through the most magnificent chocolate factory in the world, led by the world's most unusual candy maker.

Director: Tim Burton | Stars: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, Helena Bonham Carter

Votes: 427,942 | Gross: $206.46M

Embarrassing, disgusting, self-indulgent, disturbing, vain, pointless, and awful.

3. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

R | 99 min | Comedy, Horror

76 Metascore

A man's uneventful life is disrupted by the zombie apocalypse.

Director: Edgar Wright | Stars: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kate Ashfield, Lucy Davis

Votes: 511,438 | Gross: $13.54M

Already on EMIEW #1.

4. The Full Monty (1997)

R | 91 min | Comedy, Drama

75 Metascore

Six unemployed steel workers form a male striptease act. The women cheer them on to go for "the full monty" - total nudity.

Director: Peter Cattaneo | Stars: Robert Carlyle, Tom Wilkinson, Mark Addy, Wim Snape

Votes: 98,636 | Gross: $45.95M

A full movie.

5. Inception (2010)

PG-13 | 148 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

74 Metascore

A thief who steals corporate secrets through the use of dream-sharing technology is given the inverse task of planting an idea into the mind of a C.E.O.

Director: Christopher Nolan | Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Elliot Page, Ken Watanabe

Votes: 2,061,968 | Gross: $292.58M

Awesome effects, awesome storytelling, great ending.

6. The Hustle (I) (2019)

PG-13 | 93 min | Comedy, Crime

35 Metascore

Two con women - one low rent and the other high class - team up to take down the men who have wronged them.

Director: Chris Addison | Stars: Anne Hathaway, Rebel Wilson, Alex Sharp, Tim Blake Nelson

Votes: 47,393 | Gross: $35.42M

Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson's vacation in Spain. The most puzzling things about this is the way jokes are delivered, as nothing else abut the film tries to sell you on the joke. Oh, and twice it feels like the movie is about to end and it doesn't, for whatever reason. The premise is enjoyable, but I have the feeling that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Bedtime Story are where I'd want to look for it first.

7. Hamilton (2020)

PG-13 | 160 min | Biography, Drama, History

90 Metascore

The real life of one of America's foremost founding fathers and first Secretary of the Treasury, Alexander Hamilton. Captured live on Broadway from the Richard Rodgers Theater with the original Broadway cast.

Director: Thomas Kail | Stars: Lin-Manuel Miranda, Phillipa Soo, Leslie Odom Jr., Renée Elise Goldsberry

Votes: 54,076

I have too many 10's on this list so far. Oh well!

8. For a Few Dollars More (1965)

R | 132 min | Western

74 Metascore

Two bounty hunters with the same intentions team up to track down a Western outlaw.

Director: Sergio Leone | Stars: Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Gian Maria Volontè, Mara Krupp

Votes: 232,232 | Gross: $15.00M

Definitely stronger than A Fistful of Dollars. It introduces the characters and plot of the film much faster, and the three leads are much more engaging to watch "bounce" off one another. I still can't completely embrace the appeal of these Westerns, even though I have enjoyed them.

9. Ocean's Eleven (2001)

PG-13 | 116 min | Crime, Thriller

74 Metascore

Danny Ocean and his ten accomplices plan to rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously.

Director: Steven Soderbergh | Stars: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon

Votes: 515,388 | Gross: $183.42M

Fairly funny, felt well-paced and interesting, but Ocean's ex-wife getting back with was absolutely laughable.

10. Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

PG | 99 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

47 Metascore

After discovering a small, blue, fast hedgehog, a small-town police officer must help him defeat an evil genius who wants to do experiments on him.

Director: Jeff Fowler | Stars: Ben Schwartz, James Marsden, Jim Carrey, Tika Sumpter

Votes: 87,474 | Gross: $146.07M

Fairly unmemorable, but goofy and competent. Not much more worth discussing, honestly.

11. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

PG-13 | 143 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

63 Metascore

Blacksmith Will Turner teams up with eccentric pirate "Captain" Jack Sparrow to save his love, the governor's daughter, from Jack's former pirate allies, who are now undead.

Director: Gore Verbinski | Stars: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley

Votes: 1,013,863 | Gross: $305.41M

Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

12. The Last of the Mohicans (1992)

R | 112 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

76 Metascore

Three trappers protect the daughters of a British Colonel in the midst of the French and Indian War.

Director: Michael Mann | Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe, Russell Means, Eric Schweig

Votes: 149,833 | Gross: $75.51M

Director's Definitive Cut

Remarkable visual storytelling and sound design, I just wish that the story it was telling had just a little bit of 300% more substance to it.

13. Teen Titans GO! To the Movies (2018)

PG | 84 min | Animation, Action, Adventure

69 Metascore

A villain's maniacal plan for world domination sidetracks five teenage superheroes who dream of Hollywood stardom.

Directors: Aaron Horvath, Peter Rida Michail | Stars: Greg Cipes, Scott Menville, Khary Payton, Tara Strong

Votes: 16,466 | Gross: $29.56M

Lazy concept, lot of lazy jokes, but with some nice animation and some music that's good (and some's not). In conclusion, it's Teen Titans Go, but if it were good, which isn't actually too good.

14. Teen Titans Go! Vs. Teen Titans (2019 Video)

Not Rated | 77 min | Animation, Action, Adventure

The comedic modern-day quintet takes on their 2003 counterparts when villains from each of their worlds join forces to pit the two Titan teams against each other. They'll need to set aside ... See full summary »

Director: Jeff Mednikow | Stars: Greg Cipes, Rhys Darby, Grey Griffin, Sean Maher

Votes: 2,404

It's literally just Turtles Forever, verbatim. Still better than the normal show, by the inclusion of a narrative.

15. Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe (2020)

TV-G | 86 min | Animation, Action, Adventure

77 Metascore

The famed stepbrother inventors know what they're gonna do today. They're gonna rescue their sister from an alien abduction.

Director: Bob Bowen | Stars: Vincent Martella, Dee Bradley Baker, Ashley Tisdale, David Errigo Jr.

Votes: 2,751

Good music, other Phineas and Ferb movies were better.

16. Digital Man (1995)

R | 95 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

An out-of-control robot is inadvertently set loose in a small community, and a crack squad of soldiers are sent to hunt it down. Gradually, the members of the squad begin to suspect that some of them are robots.

Director: Phillip J. Roth | Stars: Ken Olandt, Kristen Dalton, Adam Baldwin, Matthias Hues

Votes: 614

Very man.

17. Mystery Men (1999)

PG-13 | 121 min | Action, Comedy, Fantasy

65 Metascore

A group of inept amateur superheroes must try to save the day when a supervillain threatens to destroy a major superhero and the city.

Director: Kinka Usher | Stars: Ben Stiller, Janeane Garofalo, William H. Macy, Hank Azaria

Votes: 61,746 | Gross: $29.66M

Ooh, quite funny. Also, uh, the Bowler is straight-up just Lindsay Ellis, for some reason.

18. Wild Zero (1999)

Not Rated | 98 min | Comedy, Horror, Music

Only legendary Japanese garage rock band Guitar Wolf can stand between a race of aliens from destroying earth with an army of zombies.

Director: Tetsuro Takeuchi | Stars: Guitar Wolf, Drum Wolf, Bass Wolf, Masashi Endô

Votes: 3,324

Absolute nonsense baloney. The funniest part of the movie is how absurdly long shots last for. Truly a ride that never ends.

19. Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

PG-13 | 120 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance

74 Metascore

This contemporary romantic comedy, based on a global bestseller, follows native New Yorker Rachel Chu to Singapore to meet her boyfriend's family.

Director: Jon M. Chu | Stars: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Gemma Chan

Votes: 141,387 | Gross: $174.53M

It was fine. I was admittedly on my phone the whole time, but the whole thing never felt like it built up to enough to wow me.

20. It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Superman! (1975 TV Movie)

Comedy, Fantasy, Musical

TV adaptation of the campy 1960s Broadway musical about the Man of Steel, his friends, his enemies, and his self-image problems.

Director: Jack Regas | Stars: Kenneth Mars, Loretta Swit, Lesley Ann Warren, David Wayne

Votes: 257

Laughably wacky, it left me in awe an with a great big smile on my face.

21. Enola Holmes (2020)

PG-13 | 123 min | Action, Adventure, Crime

68 Metascore

When Enola Holmes-Sherlock's teen sister-discovers her mother missing, she sets off to find her, becoming a super-sleuth in her own right as she outwits her famous brother and unravels a dangerous conspiracy around a mysterious young Lord.

Director: Harry Bradbeer | Stars: Millie Bobby Brown, Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, Helena Bonham Carter

Votes: 121,480

Perfectly pleasant the whole way through, but has quite the reliance on coincidences and characters being able to find each other in the city of London.

22. Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

PG | 91 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy

38 Metascore

Ernest accidentally unleashes an ugly troll that plots to transform children into wooden dolls in the town of Briarville, Missouri.

Director: John R. Cherry III | Stars: Jim Varney, Eartha Kitt, Austin Nagler, Shay Astar

Votes: 10,709 | Gross: $14.14M

Every scene and gag dragged on way too long, and Ernest was never that funny. I really liked the set design, though, and Rimshot the dog was of course cute.

23. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

PG-13 | 96 min | Comedy, Horror

43 Metascore

Upon arriving in a small town where she has inherited a rundown mansion, a famous horror hostess battles an evil uncle, and townspeople who want her burned at the stake.

Director: James Signorelli | Stars: Cassandra Peterson, Phil Rubenstein, Larry Flash Jenkins, Damita Jo Freeman

Votes: 13,745 | Gross: $5.60M

Man, I honestly really liked Elvira as a character in this film. It was certainly less boring than a lot of other bad movies I've seen.

24. Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (1999 Video)

Unrated | 70 min | Animation, Comedy, Family

Scooby-Doo and the Mystery Gang visit Oakhaven, Massachusetts to seek strange goings on involving a famous horror novelist and his ancestor who is rumored be a witch.

Director: Jim Stenstrum | Stars: Scott Innes, Mary Kay Bergman, Frank Welker, B.J. Ward

Votes: 6,364

This feels like two movies spliced together, a boring episode of Scooby-Doo followed by a witch fight. I mean, it's at least competent, and of course we stan Hex Girls, but it's not the most impressive film, really.

25. Rear Window (1954)

PG | 112 min | Mystery, Thriller

100 Metascore

A wheelchair-bound photographer spies on his neighbors from his apartment window and becomes convinced one of them has committed murder.

Director: Alfred Hitchcock | Stars: James Stewart, Grace Kelly, Wendell Corey, Thelma Ritter

Votes: 443,187 | Gross: $36.76M

My first Hitchcock! Man, lots of cool stuff with this one, from the ultra small setting, to the way the characters bond, to how the mystery as a whole is presented, all the way to the finale dripping with suspense. Good stuff, good stuff.

26. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966 TV Movie)

Not Rated | 25 min | Animation, Comedy, Family

The Peanuts gang celebrates Halloween while Linus waits for the Great Pumpkin.

Director: Bill Melendez | Stars: Peter Robbins, Christopher Shea, Sally Dryer, Cathy Steinberg

Votes: 16,971

A classic.

27. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

PG | 76 min | Animation, Family, Fantasy

82 Metascore

Jack Skellington, king of Halloween Town, discovers Christmas Town, but his attempts to bring Christmas to his home causes confusion.

Director: Henry Selick | Stars: Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O'Hara, William Hickey

Votes: 299,799 | Gross: $75.08M

Already on EMIEW #2.

28. The Chase (1994)

PG-13 | 94 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

Escaped convict Jack Hammond takes a woman hostage and sets off for the Mexican border with the police hot on his tail.

Director: Adam Rifkin | Stars: Charlie Sheen, Kristy Swanson, Henry Rollins, Josh Mostel

Votes: 17,180 | Gross: $8.01M

A fun satire about news media and police violence. Uh, the film is unironically good, except for that terrible make out scene at 80 mph.

29. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)

R | 84 min | Comedy

89 Metascore

Kazakh TV talking head Borat is dispatched to the United States to report on the greatest country in the world. With a documentary crew in tow, Borat becomes more interested in locating and marrying Pamela Anderson.

Director: Larry Charles | Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian, Luenell, Chester

Votes: 377,074 | Gross: $128.51M

Horribly offensive, but more importantly, offensively boring. I didn't laugh a single time. Maybe it was innovative back in 2006, but the Eric Andre show and, like, Internet culture in general have completely replaced the novelty of this film.

30. Dragonball Evolution (2009)

PG | 85 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

45 Metascore

The young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder unlimited power.

Director: James Wong | Stars: Justin Chatwin, James Marsters, Yun-Fat Chow, Emmy Rossum

Votes: 70,191 | Gross: $9.35M

Laughably generic, and a lousy adaptation, but in a fun, goofy way that never takes itself too seriously.

31. Rush Hour (1998)

PG-13 | 98 min | Action, Comedy, Crime

60 Metascore

A loyal and dedicated Hong Kong Inspector teams up with a reckless and loudmouthed L.A.P.D. detective to rescue the Chinese Consul's kidnapped daughter, while trying to arrest a dangerous crime lord along the way.

Director: Brett Ratner | Stars: Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Ken Leung, Tom Wilkinson

Votes: 238,621 | Gross: $141.15M

It do be the funny cop comedy with cool Jackie Chan stunts.

32. Just One of the Guys (1985)

PG-13 | 100 min | Comedy, Romance

57 Metascore

Terry feels discriminated against when the summer jobs at Sun Tribune go to 2 guys. She decides to do something about it. She dresses like a guy and gets a haircut. Will students at the other high school notice? Girls notice "him".

Director: Lisa Gottlieb | Stars: Joyce Hyser, Clayton Rohner, Billy Jayne, Toni Hudson

Votes: 14,045 | Gross: $11.50M

Nothing too incredible, but highly quotable.

33. A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973 TV Short)

TV-G | 25 min | Animation, Short, Comedy

Peppermint Patty invites herself and her friends over to Charlie Brown's for Thanksgiving, and with Linus, Snoopy, and Woodstock, he attempts to throw together a Thanksgiving dinner.

Directors: Bill Melendez, Phil Roman | Stars: Todd Barbee, Robin Kohn, Stephen Shea, Hilary Momberger-Powers

Votes: 9,404

Mostly Snoopy antics.

34. Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (2020)

PG | 122 min | Family, Fantasy, Musical

69 Metascore

An imaginary world comes to life in a holiday tale of an eccentric toymaker, his adventurous granddaughter, and a magical invention that has the power to change their lives forever.

Director: David E. Talbert | Stars: Forest Whitaker, Keegan-Michael Key, Hugh Bonneville, Anika Noni Rose

Votes: 14,903

Did not hold my attention at all. The songs felt as unmemorable as The Greatest Showman's, over half the characters were largely pointless, and there is no reason for it being 2 hours. The visuals and costumes were all magnificent, though.

35. The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978 TV Movie)

TV-PG | 97 min | Adventure, Family, Musical

Chewbacca and Han Solo try to get to the Wookiee homeworld of Kashyyyk to celebrate Life Day, but are impeded by an Imperial blockade. Chewie's family passes the time with various forms of entertainment.

Directors: Steve Binder, David Acomba | Stars: Mickey Morton, Patty Maloney, Paul Gale, Mark Hamill

Votes: 13,658

Unwatchably pointless. Hilariously devoid of meaning.

36. The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special (2020 TV Short)

TV-G | 44 min | Animation, Short, Action

Rey leaves her friends to prepare for Life Day as she sets off on an adventure to gain a deeper knowledge of the Force. At a mysterious temple, she is hurled into a cross-timeline adventure. Will she make it back in time for Life Day?

Director: Ken Cunningham | Stars: A.J. LoCascio, Anthony Daniels, Ben Prendergast, Billy Dee Williams

Votes: 5,015

I applied for a job instead of paying attention to the movie. Uh, anyways, Rey's VA did not care at all, but at least there was Robot Chicken Palpatine.

37. Futurama: Bender's Big Score (2007 Video)

Not Rated | 88 min | Animation, Comedy, Romance

Planet Express sees a hostile takeover and Bender falls into the hands of criminals where he is used to fulfill their schemes.

Director: Dwayne Carey-Hill | Stars: Billy West, Katey Sagal, John DiMaggio, Tress MacNeille

Votes: 32,876

A Futurama love letter, following your usual unpredictable Futurama plot structure. Tons of fun, even though I'd say the beginning slightly drags.

38. Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs (2008 Video)

Not Rated | 90 min | Animation, Comedy, Romance

The Planet Express crew discovers a tentacle-covered, planet-sized alien that wishes to copulate with it all the inhabitants of Earth.

Director: Peter Avanzino | Stars: Billy West, Katey Sagal, John DiMaggio, Tress MacNeille

Votes: 23,035

Futurama continues to prove it can work with 90-minute episode.

39. The Prom (2020)

PG-13 | 130 min | Comedy, Drama, Musical

55 Metascore

A troupe of hilariously self-obsessed theater stars swarm into a small conservative Indiana town in support of a high school girl who wants to take her girlfriend to the prom.

Director: Ryan Murphy | Stars: Meryl Streep, James Corden, Nicole Kidman, Kerry Washington

Votes: 19,097

Dee Dee is the main character, not Emma. Also, Alyssa Greene is just Little Miss Perfect.

Uh, there were enough songs that had me slightly rolling my eyes that it was unsatisfying. Also, Emma and Alyssa's relationship was, like, hardly a part of the film.

Also, it has James Corden in it.

40. Futurama: Bender's Game (2008 Video)

Not Rated | 88 min | Animation, Action, Adventure

The Planet Express crew get trapped in a fantasy world.

Director: Dwayne Carey-Hill | Stars: Billy West, Katey Sagal, John DiMaggio, Tress MacNeille

Votes: 19,797

Weeeaaak. The fact that the entire plot changes halfway through should speak for itself. The other two films have felt like great big Futurama celebrations, while this one was just a lengthy lame episode that I just kept waiting to finish.

41. Klaus (2019)

PG | 96 min | Animation, Adventure, Comedy

65 Metascore

A simple act of kindness always sparks another, even in a frozen, faraway place. When Smeerensburg's new postman, Jesper, befriends toymaker Klaus, their gifts melt an age-old feud and deliver a sleigh full of holiday traditions.

Directors: Sergio Pablos, Carlos Martínez López | Stars: Jason Schwartzman, J.K. Simmons, Rashida Jones, Will Sasso

Votes: 103,582

If I had a nickel for every Santa origin story movie with a schoolteacher as a main character, I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but's weird that it happened twice.

42. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

PG-13 | 151 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

60 Metascore

Diana must contend with a work colleague and businessman, whose desire for extreme wealth sends the world down a path of destruction, after an ancient artifact that grants wishes goes missing.

Director: Patty Jenkins | Stars: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal

Votes: 138,507

The movie is at its best when it's at its most ludicrous, but it's also at these points that the entire movie is at its flimsiest.

Also, the introduction was unbearably slow.

43. Goodfellas (1990)

R | 146 min | Biography, Crime, Drama

90 Metascore

The story of Henry Hill and his life in the mob, covering his relationship with his wife Karen Hill and his mob partners Jimmy Conway and Tommy DeVito in the Italian-American crime syndicate.

Director: Martin Scorsese | Stars: Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco

Votes: 1,018,008 | Gross: $46.84M

True crime be freaky.

44. Soul (2020)

PG | 100 min | Animation, Adventure, Comedy

83 Metascore

A musician who has lost his passion for music is transported out of his body and must find his way back with the help of an infant soul learning about herself.

Directors: Pete Docter, Kemp Powers | Stars: Jamie Foxx, Tina Fey, Graham Norton, Rachel House

Votes: 141,337

I can't really verbalize where Joe is at the beginning of the movie versus at the end, but I think it was expertly communicated on an emotional level.



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