Inside No. 9, Ranked
My ranking of the dark comedy anthology in which people find themselves in seemingly mundane, but altogether macabre and troubling situations...
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- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsAlexandra RoachSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithA professor at the University of Cambridge attempts to teach a student how to solve a cryptic crossword.10/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsReece ShearsmithEllie WhiteSteve PembertonA group of friends go out for tapas after a day of golfing; but tempers escalate quickly when they can't agree on how to settle the bill. Who will pay the ultimate price?9/10
- DirectorSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithStarsSteve PembertonJane HorrocksReece ShearsmithAndy takes a job at Comfort Support Line's call center, a helpline for the lonely and desperate. Will he be able to cope with the emotional stress after he becomes the target of a stalker?9/10
- DirectorJim O'HanlonStarsMonica DolanNick MoranReece ShearsmithAccording to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the three most stressful experiences in life are the death of a spouse, divorce, and imprisonment. Moving house is only 32nd on the list. But anything could happen in the last ten minutes.9/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithJill HalfpennyWorld-famous magician Neville Griffin is extremely protective of his secrets, but student journalist Gabriel is determined to get his interview nonetheless.8.5/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsNicola WalkerSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithWhen Adrian's career as a wedding photographer starts to get in the way of his own marriage, his wife Harriet is determined to find out why.8.5/10
- DirectorGeorge KaneStarsReece ShearsmithAmanda AbbingtonSamantha SpiroGareth is definitely going to be working from home today. Just to be on the safe side. He doesn't want to push his luck. Because today just happens to be Friday the 13th.8.5/10
- DirectorSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithStarsChristopher WhitlowClaire SkinnerEve AustinIt's Nana's 79th birthday and she's to spend the afternoon with her whole family. But events take an unexpected turn.8/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsReece ShearsmithGemma ArtertonSteve PembertonA man enters a downward spiral when he befriends a mysterious tramp.8/10
- DirectorGraeme HarperStarsReece ShearsmithSteve PembertonSian GibsonIt's been 30 years since Northern double-act Len and Tommy last appeared on stage together. Then Tommy walked out on Len, and that was curtains for Cheese and Crackers. Until now - and one last gig in front of an invited audience.8/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsReece ShearsmithSteve PembertonRebecca CallardTwo police officers have time to get to know each other on the night shift. But PC Thompson's previous partner died in a brutal attack, the forensic evidence has gone missing and PC Varney is asking awkward questions.8/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsJaygann AyehReece ShearsmithRory KinnearStrangely-farcical goings-on are in store for a group of unwitting guests, who have all booked adjoining rooms on the ninth floor of the Zanzibar hotel in London.8/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsReece ShearsmithSteve PembertonJulie HesmondhalghA group of passengers on a train from France try to get some sleep, but the compartment quickly fills up and the possibility of sleep dwindles away. Then one of the passengers suddenly dies.8/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsDenis LawsonJoyce VehearySteve PembertonA couple of silent bungling burglars try to steal a painting from a luxury home at the same time as the owner and his "missus" are having a serious fight.8/10
- DirectorGraeme HarperStarsReece ShearsmithRula LenskaJessica RaineA director talks about his old horror film. It's Austria, Krampusnacht, December 1977. The Devonshires arrive at the alpine chalet for a holiday. The caretaker, Klaus, tells them about a local legend of Krampus, the Devil of Christmas.8/10
- DirectorJim O'HanlonStarsWeruche OpiaSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithThree council contractors have to clear out the flat of a dead hoarder. But when they discover a bloodstained floor, their lives will never be the same again.8/10
- DirectorIan BevittStarsSteve PembertonSheila ReidReece ShearsmithChas and Joe have been together for nine years. It's a long time to be truly in love with someone. But how long does it take to properly say goodbye?8/10
- DirectorAl CampbellStarsReece ShearsmithMark GatissSteve PembertonLaurence has arranged a special reunion on a boat for his old university friends. As they strike out across the remote lake, their conversation takes them into troubled waters.8/10
- DirectorLouise HooperStarsSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithElin OwenAlan arrives at a small village primary school in rural Wales. Passionate about teaching, he throws himself into the new job but finds himself overshadowed by his charismatic and much-loved predecessor, Mr. King.8/10
- DirectorBarbara WiltshireStarsSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithStephanie ColeWhen Arthur finds an old mobile phone in his local graveyard, he makes the mistake of trying to contact the owner. But some mysteries are best left unsolved, and as Halloween draws near Arthur is plunged into a nightmare of his own making.8/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsSteve PembertonSophie ThompsonLucy HutchinsonA pop star dies while making a home visit to a sick girl, leaving his entourage and the family squabbling over a balloon which holds his dying breath.7.5/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsRosie CavalieroSteve PembertonReece ShearsmithAn acting understudy eventually assumes center stage, but at a price.7.5/10
- DirectorMatt LipseyStarsAdrian DunbarBhavna LimbachiaPauline McLynnActor James is waiting for his big moment on ITV's new crime drama in a static caravan, owned by a strange family that clearly have something to hide.7.5/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsPeter KayMorgana RobinsonMontserrat LombardA group of strangers are invited to attend a private exhibition at an art gallery, but none of them knows why they were invited.7.5/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsCharles ArmstrongSian CliffordSteve PembertonFelix is pretty certain his wife is up to something with her boss Dmitri, so he decides to hire some help to prove things one way or the other. When professional lip-reader Iris arrives with her powerful binoculars, the couple stake out a hotel bedroom and start to gather their evidence.7.5/10
- DirectorGeorge KaneStarsReece ShearsmithSteve PembertonAnita DobsonEast End villains Harry and Annie Blackwood were rotten to the core and did some truly horrible things when they were alive. What secrets did they take to their grave? Their sons plan to find out.7.5/10
- DirectorCal McCrystalGuillem MoralesStarsKevin BishopGemma WhelanPaterson JosephPantalone has in an audacious plan to steal a consignment of diamonds worth a tasty twelve million. But he's hired a complete bunch of double-crossing clowns to do it.7.5/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsLindsay DuncanNick MohammedSteve PembertonEveryone says the Season 7 finale of fantasy epic The Ninth Circle was pretty disappointing, even show-runner Spencer Maguire is keen to move on to new projects. But not everyone thinks that it has to be the end of the matter, and obsessive fan Simon Smethurst decides to visit his hero to help put things right.7/10
- DirectorGeorge KaneStarsSteve PembertonSimon CallowShobna GulatiIn this Christmas Special, Dr Jasper Parkway has booked an overnight stay in a reputedly haunted church on Christmas Eve. He is joined by unwanted guests Pierce and Posy and eccentric church warden Dick who won't leave him alone.7.5/10
- DirectorMatt LipseyStarsJenna ColemanKadiff KirwanSteve PembertonYoung couple Beattie and Sam have finally managed to get onto the property ladder. But the only flat they can afford has a dark and sinister past, a past that demands to be heard.7/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsReece ShearsmithKeeley HawesRosa StrudwickAfter finding a lost shoe in the street, a man becomes fixated on trying to trace its owner.7/10
- DirectorDan ZeffStarsReece ShearsmithSophie McSheraAlison SteadmanHaving never consulted the spirit world before, Tina isn't quite sure what to expect. But there's something already waiting for her on the Other Side - The Scaredy Cam. However, there's something waiting for the Scaredy Cam team as well.7/10
- DirectorLouise HooperStarsReece ShearsmithSteve PembertonGeorgie GlenEvery one remembers the Wise Owl who kept the children safe in public information films from 1970. Ronnie has spent entire life trying to do the right thing.7/10
- DirectorKieron J. WalshStarsNoah ValentineJessica HynesReece ShearsmithHelen and her teenage son Zach don't really get on, until a random act of kindness brings the mysterious Bob to their front door.7/10
- DirectorAl CampbellStarsDaisy HaggardReece ShearsmithDaniel MaysShane and Clifford have a plan to abduct the wife of a wealthy hedge fund manager. If he won't pay them the money, they'll snip her ears off to prove they mean business. The plan depends on everyone playing their role to the end.7/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsDerek JacobiStanley LaneAaron NeilFamous barrister Webster is not well and not an easy man to look after. His carer Urban knows how to take the rough with the smooth. But on this particular night, something will test Webster's resolve and legal skills to the very end.7/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsSheridan SmithTom RileyStacy LiuWhen Christine brings a man home from a costume party, her life begins to unravel. Her happiness slowly turns to sorrow.7/10
- DirectorDan ZeffStarsReece ShearsmithSteve PembertonDavid WarnerIn the 17th century, two witch-finders are summoned to the unassuming village of Little Happens to try an old woman.7/10
- DirectorGraeme HarperStarsReece ShearsmithSteve PembertonPhoebe SparrowWe join the jury of a television awards company as they decide on who is going to win the Best Actress award. But only one of the eight actresses can be chosen.7/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsReece ShearsmithTamzin OuthwaiteSarah HadlandAt an 80's-themed karaoke party for their boss, a group of office workers expresses their feelings through their choice of songs. Rivalries escalate as news of layoff arrive.7/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsKatherine ParkinsonTim KeyLuke PasqualinoA family team-building game of sardines (similar to hide and seek) in a rural country mansion leads to a dark and sinister discovery.7/10
- DirectorBarbara WiltshireStarsLee MackTiajna AmayoJames BaileyThree threesomes compete for prizes in this general knowledge quiz presented by Lee Mack.7/10
- DirectorJesse QuinonesStarsClaire RushbrookMathew HorneReece ShearsmithYou get to meet all sorts when you go online dating, as Vicky's about to find out. Will she finally meet her perfect match? Or will she be talking to the Lonely Hearts murderer?7/10
- DirectorGuillem MoralesStarsSteve PembertonOlly Hudson-CrokerDebbie RushTrevor and Julia always want to make Christmas really special for their family but with money tight, it won't be easy. As each door of the advent calendar opens, everyone will have to do their bit to make Christmas happen.7/10
- DirectorKieron J. WalshStarsSophie OkonedoCoco-Lili HoderSteve PembertonHard-as-nails Detective Inspector Katrina, a divorcee and single mum, is determined to crack the case of the missing boy. But there's also her drinking, her love life and her inner demons.7/10
- DirectorMatt LipseyStarsDavid MorrisseySteve SpeirsReece ShearsmithThe final day of the football season and it has all come down to the last match - the crunch clash between United and Rovers - all safely in the hands of the four match officials.7/10
- DirectorDavid KerrStarsAimee-Ffion EdwardsHelen McCroryReece ShearsmithIn this horror comedy with a grim twist, a teenage girl is hired to house sit, but it appears that there are scary things going on in this home.7/10
- DirectorSteve PembertonStarsPhil DavisMaxine PeakeSara KestelmanSeven extremely disparate characters share their stories with a camera, their fates inevitably, inextricably, and unknowingly set for a head-on collision.7/10
- DirectorMatt LipseyStarsBamshad Abedi-AminDebra GillettJulian GloverDawn and Mick are hosting their annual Last Night of the Proms party, the perfect antidote to post-Brexit Britain. But not everyone is singing from the same song sheet.7/10