The latest in our series of writers standing up for maligned films is a defence of Channing Tatum’s frenetic franchise starter
The year is 1641. We open in France, where confusingly, everyone is speaking English. A Scottish man has been caught selling weapons to enemies of Louis Xiii, and as punishment is forced to wear a red-hot iron mask forever. Cut to “the not too distant future”, where the man’s descendant, Christopher Eccleston, is presenting a lecture about newly weaponised flying metal bugs to some Nato employees. “Originally developed to isolate and kill cancer cells, at Mars industries we discovered how to program nanomites to do almost anything. For example … eat metal”. It turns out “nanomites” can also be injected into rocket warheads, and thus the back story and premise of GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is explained in less than a minute.
Related: Hear me out: why...
The year is 1641. We open in France, where confusingly, everyone is speaking English. A Scottish man has been caught selling weapons to enemies of Louis Xiii, and as punishment is forced to wear a red-hot iron mask forever. Cut to “the not too distant future”, where the man’s descendant, Christopher Eccleston, is presenting a lecture about newly weaponised flying metal bugs to some Nato employees. “Originally developed to isolate and kill cancer cells, at Mars industries we discovered how to program nanomites to do almost anything. For example … eat metal”. It turns out “nanomites” can also be injected into rocket warheads, and thus the back story and premise of GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is explained in less than a minute.
Related: Hear me out: why...
- 7/28/2021
- by Rob Freeman
- The Guardian - Film News
Similar News
Deadpool & Wolverine: Logan Is Spoiling For A Fight In New Still As Kevin Feige Teases "Universe-Sized" Stakes
- 5/2/2024
- ComicBookMovie.com
Deadpool & Wolverine Empire Magazine Covers See Wade Wilson And Logan Team Up With Dogpool
- 5/2/2024
- ComicBookMovie.com
Zoë Kravitz Debuts as Director in New Thriller Featuring Channing Tatum
- 5/2/2024
- by Steve Delikson
- TVovermind.com
“Young Woman and The Sea”
- 5/1/2024
- by Unknown
- SneakPeek
“It’s not his fault”: Chris Hemsworth’s Heartfelt Thor 4 Confession Forces Fans to Forgive Him
- 4/30/2024
- by Santanu Roy
- FandomWire
Doctor Who Star Ncuti Gatwa Responds To Racist/Homophobic Backlash: "Turn Off The TV. Go And Touch Grass"
- 4/29/2024
- ComicBookMovie.com
Warner Bros. Discovery Announces The Easterngate As One Of The First Max Original Series In Poland
- 5/2/2024
- by Thomas Miller
- Seat42F
The Easterngate Announced as One of Max’s First Series in Poland
- 5/2/2024
- by Mirko Parlevliet
- Vital Thrills
“It’s A Mandatory Read”: Biden Urges Checking Out Trump Second Term Plans Revealed In Dystopian Time Magazine Q&a
- 5/2/2024
- by Dominic Patten
- Deadline Film + TV
IMDb.com, Inc. takes no responsibility for the content or accuracy of the above news articles, Tweets, or blog posts. This content is published for the entertainment of our users only. The news articles, Tweets, and blog posts do not represent IMDb's opinions nor can we guarantee that the reporting therein is completely factual. Please visit the source responsible for the item in question to report any concerns you may have regarding content or accuracy.
More to explore
Box Office: Ryan Gosling’s ‘Fall Guy’ Makes $3.15 Million in Previews
- 5/3/2024
- by Jordan Moreau
- Variety - Film News
A24 Scoops Up Adam Wingard Action Movie ‘Onslaught’
- 5/2/2024
- by Borys Kit
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
Kristen Stewart, Oscar Isaac to Star in Vampire Thriller ‘Flesh of the Gods’ for ‘Mandy’ Filmmaker
- 5/2/2024
- by Borys Kit
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
Paul Rudd & Nick Jonas To Star In Musical Comedy ‘Power Ballad’; Filming Underway In Dublin With John Carney Directing — Cannes Market Hot Project
- 5/2/2024
- by Andreas Wiseman, Matt Grobar and Diana Lodderhose
- Deadline Film + TV
‘Cobra Kai’ Season 6 to Be Split Into Three Parts: Final Season Kicks Off in July, Series Finale Set for 2025
- 5/2/2024
- by Joe Otterson
- Variety - TV News
Michelle Yeoh to Receive Presidential Medal of Freedom
- 5/3/2024
- by Todd Spangler
- Variety - TV News
Meryl Streep Set to Receive Cannes Honorary Palme D’Or
- 5/2/2024
- by Etan Vlessing
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
Mel Brooks, Quinta Brunson To Be Honored At Peabody Awards
- 5/2/2024
- by Denise Petski
- Deadline Film + TV
Rosie O’Donnell Joins ‘And Just Like That’ for Season 3
- 5/2/2024
- by Carly Thomas
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
Daniel Zirilli Dies: Prolific Director Of Action Films And Music Videos Was 58
- 5/2/2024
- by Greg Evans
- Deadline Film + TV
Kristen Stewart, Oscar Isaac to Star in Vampire Thriller ‘Flesh of the Gods’ for ‘Mandy’ Filmmaker
- 5/2/2024
- by Borys Kit
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
Paul Rudd & Nick Jonas To Star In Musical Comedy ‘Power Ballad’; Filming Underway In Dublin With John Carney Directing — Cannes Market Hot Project
- 5/2/2024
- by Andreas Wiseman, Matt Grobar and Diana Lodderhose
- Deadline Film + TV
Anthony Hopkins to Play Composer George Frideric Handel in ‘The King of Covent Garden’ Biopic
- 5/2/2024
- by Alex Ritman
- Variety - Film News
‘Never Look Away’ Review: Lucy Lawless Directs Fascinating Documentary on Death-Defying Photojournalist Margaret Moth
- 5/1/2024
- by Joe Leydon
- Variety - Film News
Quentin Dupieux’s ‘Daaaaaalí!’ Bought by Music Box for U.S. Distribution (Exclusive)
- 5/2/2024
- by Elsa Keslassy
- Variety - Film News
Box Office: Ryan Gosling’s ‘Fall Guy’ Makes $3.15 Million in Previews
- 5/3/2024
- by Jordan Moreau
- Variety - Film News
Thunderbolts* Star Olga Kurylenko On That Mysterious Asterisk: "They Changed A Few Things"
- 5/2/2024
- ComicBookMovie.com
Universal’s Leonardo da Vinci Film to Be Directed by ‘All of Us Strangers’ Helmer Andrew Haigh (Exclusive)
- 5/2/2024
- by Tatiana Siegel
- Variety Film + TV
Emma Stone, Nathan Fielder and A24 to Produce ‘Checkmate,’ Ben Mezrich’s Chess Scandal Story
- 5/2/2024
- by Angelique Jackson
- Variety - Film News
Mattel’s ‘Masters of the Universe’ Moves From Netflix to Amazon for Summer 2026 Release, Travis Knight to Direct
- 5/2/2024
- by Angelique Jackson
- Variety - Film News
James Corden and Ruth Jones Confirm ‘Gavin and Stacey’ Christmas Episode: ‘It’s Official!’
- 5/3/2024
- by Ellise Shafer
- Variety - TV News
Robin Wright-Led ‘The Girlfriend’ Ordered To Series At Prime Video; Olivia Cooke, Laurie Davidson & Waleed Zuaiter Also Star
- 5/2/2024
- by Rosy Cordero
- Deadline Film + TV
‘Knuckles’ Paramount+ Series Sets Platform Record With Over 4 Million Hours Viewed
- 5/2/2024
- by Joe Otterson
- Variety Film + TV
Rosie O’Donnell Joins ‘And Just Like That’ for Season 3
- 5/2/2024
- by Carly Thomas
- The Hollywood Reporter - Movie News
‘Emily The Criminal’: John Patton Ford To Turn His 2022 Crime Thriller Into A TV Series, But Aubrey Plaza Not Returning To Star
- 5/2/2024
- by Ned Booth
- The Playlist