William Holden and Gloria Swanson in Sunset Blvd. (1950)
I will be devoted to remember the good old times and wait for the day when they finally come back.
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Margo Martindale at an event for The IMDb Studio at Sundance (2015)
I'll stay true to IMDb, on GetSatisfaction, Twitter, Facebook, or other services.
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Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, James Stewart, and John Howard in The Philadelphia Story (1940)
There are other movie forums on the internet to read and post on. Goodbye!
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How the West Was Won (1962)
I will join a new website with other refugees who left IMDb. Sure, times will be harsh. We won't have much, but we will have each other. And eventually, our new home will be better than the old one ever was.
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Keanu Reeves in John Wick (2014)
I don't need the internet anyway to have meaningful discussions, I can have that in real life...
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Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Inception (2010)
I will kick myself out of this horrible dream and wake up in a world where we'll still have IMDb message boards.
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Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception (2010)
I will get into a deeper dream level, where everything is still fine.
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Ben Kingsley and Asa Butterfield in Hugo (2011)
Why even watch movies when there's no good platform to discuss them? I'll get a new hobby.
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Donald Trump
I will launch a campaign with the principal goal to "Make IMDb Great Again"
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Kevin Costner and John Larroquette in JFK (1991)
I will find out the true reason for this decision (Maintenance costs? Complaints from celebrities? Orders from the Lizard People?)
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Meryl Streep at an event for The 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards 2017 (2017)
I will fight for the boards by making people aware of their shutdown in all the speeches for the various awards I'm going to receive.
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Elton John
Desperation will give me creative strength. I'll make a (tiny) fortune writing sentimental farewell songs, among them "We'll Vote Again", "Some Poll Like You", and "The Night They Drove Old IMDb down".
(thanks borimor for song title input)
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Albert Einstein
Now that my time won't be consumed by those addictive trivial distractions, I can focus on finding the world formula already.