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- Fred is unsettled by the fact that Jackie turns to Dan, and not him, when she needs help from a man. Upset, convinced that Jackie has feeling for Dan, and half-drunk, Fred confronts Dan, takes a swing at him, and tells Jackie that maybe they shouldn't get married, but offers no explanation. Dan tells Roseanne, who tells Jackie what is really troubling Fred, and they both have a good laugh at the idea. Clearing the air paves the way for Fred and Jackie's wedding.
- After proposing marriage to David, Darlene tells him that she is pregnant. They plan to wait to tell the family, but Roseanne smells the fear and jokingly guesses, correctly, that Darlene is pregnant. Dan is convinced that they are not ready to start a family, and is openly not happy for them at all. Roseanne, knowing that there is nothing she can do, feigns happiness and tries to give Darlene advice and support.
- A Sri Lankan political activist visiting New York City is the victim of an assassination attempt, but the mastermind turns out to be a very unlikely person.
- Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him, and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady-friend, Sherry, is in his head because she is just like him; a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake fiercely battle wills over Jake doing his homework.
- Trying to conceive another child, Roseanne puts Dan on a "lovemaking schedule," to no avail. Jackie discovers that she's pregnant from her one-night stand with Fred and hesitates about telling him. Roseanne has no problem spreading Jackie's good news to their mom and their friends, but is stopped before she can tell Fred. To relieve the pressure and disappointment, Dan and Roseanne decide to stop actually trying to get pregnant, and let nature take its course.
- When an assistant district attorney acts in self-defense and kills a hit man in his home, the detectives attempt to find who ordered the hit on the ADA's life.
- Young lovers Woody Sage and Avery Hubert, both married to spouses twice their age, run away together and vanish mysteriously before reaching their destination. Kathy Jarrow Sage, a former police detective and old flame of Captain Ross, reports her husband's disappearance and asks Major Case to help locate him. Detectives Goren's and Eames' first impression is a carjacking gone bad, but they soon figure out that he was not only alone, but the carjacking might just be a cover to buy time. When Avery's parents, who were expecting her and Woody, report them missing, Goren and Eames investigate the possibility that, even though the two left together under their own steam, they may have met with foul-play. Avery's violent husband, Roy, looks good for the crime, but looks can be deceiving.
- Stepping out of the back of the eighteen-wheeler he was riding in, Michael Westen is greeted with an exploding plane, dead bodies, and one hog-tied, live "client", Jimmy. The phone rings, and a female voice, calling herself "Carla", lets Michael know that if he gets this man back to Miami, and help him play ball, she will finally let him know who burned him. After agreeing to help his new client, Jimmy, steal data from the fortress at Security Associates, and get the man's family back, who are now being held hostage, Michael enlists the help of his friends Fiona and Sam.
- Darlene is fed up with David, who has been secretly living with her for months instead of his mother in Michigan as her parents believe, but feels guilty for constantly lying to them. A miserable Becky unfairly blames Roseanne for Mark walking out on her; tired of being blamed for the whole mess, Roseanne tries to get Mark to patch things up with Becky. Looking for him at his friend's apartment, she discovers the truth of David's whereabouts from Mark's confused roommate and heads to Chicago. She drags David home with her, but lies to Dan about why he's back.
- After leaving Dan for not taking better care of himself, Roseanne goes on a "spiritual odyssey", imagining herself and Dan as Ann and Donald from "That Girl", Jeannie and Major Nelson from "I Dream of Jeannie", and Mary and Lou from "The Mary Tylor Moore Show". The family tries console Dan, and encourage Roseanne to reconcile with her heart-broken husband. Jackie discovers that they won the Illinois State Lottery worth 108 million dollars.
- Roseanne and Dan clash over what will be donated to a charity drive. Dan has trouble letting go of his stuff, so he plots ways to keep it. Darlene is worried about a bad grade on her report card getting her into trouble, so she plots to conceal the truth from her parents. Jackie is upset with Booker for nearly standing her up... again.
- Roseanne's mother, Beverly, visits for the weekend, much to the dismay of the family. Roseanne tricks Jackie into coming over to help keep her from being alone with her mother. While confessing youthful transgressions to their Mom for fun, Jackie discovers that her parents always thought she had potential to make something out of herself; while Roseanne discovers that they always knew that she would "just" be an ordinary housewife and mother. Roseanne finds this revelation hurtful, and wonders if she treats her own daughters that differently.
- A gossip columnist is killed and there's a wide range of people who are suspects.
- The Detectives find themselves hunting for a person who cut off a man's genitals and left him to die.
- The Conners are selected to be a "Nielsen Family". Roseanne, who is going through a nesting period in her pregnancy, insists that the family watch only educational-type programming to prove to the Nielsen people that they are not white trash. After Dan breaks the couch, Roseanne accepts a hand-me-down couch from her mother, but soon regrets it. Jackie and Fred make a life-altering decision.
- Part 1 of 2: D.J. is busted at school for having obscene reading material. Dan meets with the principal, but dreads it, because he is certain that the reading material D.J. brought to school is one of his raunchy magazines. He soon discovers that the reading material is far more twisted; begging the question of where D.J. got it, and leaving him speechless by the answer. Roseanne and Dan discover that Jackie has been keeping a dark secret, and each of them try to help her by dealing with it in their own, unique way.
- Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date out, and run into an old friend that they were unaware had been divorced. When they learn that her divorce was because her husband refused to allow her to follow a dream, that Roseanne inspired, Dan wonders if Roseanne will grow to feel the same way. When Jackie is late for baby-sitting, Becky is allowed to cover, much to the delight of the kids.
- Rossi determines that the case that haunts him has gone unsolved too long on its 20th anniversary, and the team horns in on his investigation despite his displeasure. Elsewhere, Reid and Hotchner interview a manipulative death-row convict.
- The kids plan a birthday breakfast for their Dad. Roseanne plans a birthday bash for Dan at the Lobo Lounge. What starts out as a great party, soon turn sour, when a drunken bar patron picks a fight with Dan over use of the pool table. A furious Roseanne prevents Dan from brawling with the bruiser, leaving Dan humiliated and angry. Becky is nervous about meeting and having diner with her boyfriend's parents.
- Roseanne and Becky try to convince Dan to hire Mark at the city garage. Riddled with guilt (and tired of Roseanne overworking him), David confesses to Dan that he was living with Darlene in Chicago instead of his mother's in Michigan. Furious, Dan throws him out of the house and tells Roseanne to take him to the bus station and send him to Michigan for real, but she takes him to Jackie's instead, then goes on a mission to guilt Dan into taking him back. Since Jackie wants nothing to do with Fred, she's upset that Roseanne has been helping him sneak financial support for the baby into her tip jar.
- Roseanne finally gets to meet Leon's fiancé, Scott, and learns that they are planning a wedding. In order to free Leon up to travel to Minnesota to meet the minister, Roseanne volunteers to finish planning the wedding - which becomes "one gigantic, offensive, Roseanniacle ball of wrong". Leon develops a bad case of cold feet, and it is Roseanne to the rescue.
- Locke thinks he knows how to get the hatch open, and he and Boone venture inland. Jack is reluctant to help Sawyer get glasses.
- Carjackers compromise Priority Homicide's successful murder-for-hire sting operation when they make off with Lt. Provenza's car, containing all the compiled evidence.
- Donald Ferguson, who's under Mary's watch, dies in a suspicious car accident and it is up to Mary and Marshall to find out if it was just an accident or if it has something to do with the O'Connor family from his old life when he was known as Donald Fraser. Meanwhile, Brandi continues to flirt with Raphael despite Jinx warning her not to.
- Nancy introduces her new girlfriend Sharon to Roseanne and Jackie. Sharon invites them to go dancing with her and Nancy at a gay bar and winds up giving Roseanne a romantic kiss. This freaks Roseanne out, but she has a hard time figuring out why. Jackie is openly uncomfortable about people assuming she might be gay, which prompts an amused Roseanne to behave like they are a couple.
- Since Jackie has made it very clear that Fred is not welcome to be a part of their baby's life, Fred retaliates with plans to sue Jackie for custody after the birth, which throws Jackie into hysterics. Fighting over whether Fred has the right to force himself into his baby's life, split the men and women of the Conner house. Roseanne learns that Dan put the idea in Fred's head, which puts him under the doghouse. Mark and D.J. gang up on David to challenge his masculinity, or lack there of.
- Darlene comes home to try to convince her father to let David move back in the house "from Michigan," unsuccessfully. After catching David making out with Darlene in the basement, Dan finds out that his family lied to him again: not only did David not go his mom's in Michigan when Dan threw him out, but he was staying with Jackie--and Roseanne was responsible. Darlene joins David at Jackie's to get away from her furious father. Jackie gets irritated when people keep asking her to leave the room, in her own house, when they want to talk out their problems.
- The French woman arrives at the camp with a dire warning about a group of survivors known as the Others.
- When Gary throws out his back, he uses the hot tub at his ex-wife's house for relief, but when he tries to change out of his wet trunks in front of her, she freaks and decides they need stronger boundaries. Gary is accused of loosing Louise's cello, and advises Tom to be honest with his girlfriend, but needs to take his own advise.
- Allison insists Gary stop procrastinating, and move his remaining belongings out of her house. He begs Allison to let him have the pool table, but she adamantly refuses, citing the divorce agreement rule covering gifts. Gary discovers a photo album full of racy pictures of her amongst those belongings, and decides to use them to blackmail her into a trade. When Allison gets them back on her own, Gary tries to steal the pool table out of the house.
- Gary realizes that if Allison marries Dr. Krandall, he will know longer have to pay spousal support, prompting him to talk to Krandall about Allison, in hopes of speeding up their nuptials. This backfires when Krandall becomes convinced that Gary is still in love with her, prompting him to call off the engagement, leaving Gary to undo the mess he made. Vanessa realizes that Gary is having trouble accepting that he is in a new life, when he continues to eat off paper plates on Frisbees, instead of the dishes she bought for him.
- When it looks like the fixer-upper house Dan has invested in is going to pay off, the Conners are on top of the world. But when the buyer backs out, and one partner skips out, and the bills are due on the project-house, that world threatens to come crashing down. Pushed by Beverly's latest attempt at driving Jackie insane, Jackie finally blurts out to her Mom that she has been seeing a psychiatrist. Nancy decides she wants to have a baby, but her chosen sperm-donor turns out to be a real rotten egg. An unlikely source rides in who just may save the day for the Conners.
- Over a year earlier, Mary had a tryst with an ex-cop/witness from Chicago, who is now being accused of murdering a cop in Albuquerque...also a former officer from Chicago. Mary and Marshall work to prove his innocence.
- Goren has to interrogate his chameleon-like nemesis, Nicole Wallace, when she becomes a suspect in the slaying of a jewelry thief.
- When one difficulty after another hinder the prosecution of serial pedophile, Roy Barnett, desperate A.D.A. Alexandra Cabot oversteps the bounds of the law, risking both her job, and that of Benson and Stabler, to put this dangerous man behind bars.
- Roseanne's high-school nemesis, and Dan's high-school fling, visits Dan at the city garage and invites him to lunch. Jackie finds out from Fred, lies to Roseanne, and confronts Dan at home that evening, but believes him that it was just an innocent lunch date. Unaware of how Dan spent his lunch hour, Roseanne confides in Jackie that Dan played hooky and they had the best sex ever. Since Jackie can't lie convincingly to her sister, Roseanne realizes that she's been lied to and forces Dan to come clean. Enraged and humiliated by the answer, she walks out on him.
- Roseanne goes into labor on her favorite holiday (Halloween) and gives birth on a pain-medication-induced psychedelic trip.
- The Conners gear up for their favorite holiday, with their traditional flair for trying to out-prank one another. Roseanne, the queen of Halloween, falls for the various elaborate pranks pulled on her by her family, for a change. Nancy is upset because she is painfully aware that Dan doesn't like her, so Roseanne sets out to convince her she is wrong by insisting that Dan pull a prank on Nancy, before Nancy sells her share of the diner to Leon.
- Mark and Becky find a tiny run-down trailer in a trailer park, and decide to make it home. Determined to fix up their home all on their own, they turn down offers of assistance from Dan and Roseanne, who in turn have to find covert way to help the kids out. Roseanne discovers that they will need to come up with $2,000 to prepay for the baby's doctor and hospital stay.
- Upset because she got dumped again, and certain she will never find a good man, Crystal turns to Roseanne and Jackie for support and advice. Booker turns down a date with Jackie because his "Mother" is in town, and turns up at the Lobo Lounge with another woman. Jackie decides not to turn the other cheek. Praying for a snow day, Darlene procrastinates doing a book report she has to turn in the next day.
- 10 years earlier - Following a street basketball game, and free-throw practice, orphaned Scott Worley and his baby brother Chris, witness the execution of one bookie by another, followed by threats of "You know what happens to snitches". Testifying landed them in the program as Marshal Mary Shannon's first protectees. Present day finds Scott owning an auto-repair business, and young Chris as a rising basketball star in college. Mary soon discovers that Chris has developed a serious gambling problem and is in thirty-thousand deep with his bookie. Unable to pay the debt, the bookie, Bill Donner, abducts Scott to force Chris to throw a ball game, leaving Mary and Marshall in a race against the clock... the time clock. Jinx gets news that her husband is going to be declared dead. Marshall hooks up with his former teacher's assistant he had in college, who gives him a different type of education.
- Following the Homecoming game, Dan holds a 25-year-reunion party for his former high school football team and begs his family to behave begging his family to put up a loving, happy front for the duration. Becky and Mark come home for a visit after a long absence following their move; they're fight and Becky contemplates leaving him. Roseanne invites them to move in so they can get on their feet financially, and Darlene shares a secret with Becky.
- Roseanne's attempt to encourage David to snap out of his moping over Darlene and do something with his life backfires when he decides to move back in with his mom in Michigan; when Darlene comes home for a visit to surprise David, they wind up at each other's throats; D.J. is humiliated when the entire family figures out why he locks himself in the bathroom for long stays.
- Jackie and Roseanne plan an expensive spa vacation. Depressed about his mother, Dan searches for the meaning of life. He decides that now that he can afford it, he wants to take her to California for a thorough evaluation of her psychiatric condition. The crowned Prince of Muldavia sees Jackie on TV and decides he must go to Lanford to meet her.
- Mary protects a 10-year-old witness from being returned to his father, but as the story unfolds learns new information about the boy she's protecting.
- Jin attacks Michael for seemingly no reason; Jack wants to move the survivors over to the caves, although some people disagree.
- When teenager Iris McBride witnesses her boyfriend, Lawrence, being shot by a member of a violent Hispanic gang, she and her family must enter WITSEC to prevent retaliation for her planned ID and testimony. Iris's arrogant father, Dr. McBride, now Dr. Morris, goes ballistic, refusing to accept his forced circumstance, making life difficult for his family and the Marshal's alike. Fed up with his new lifestyle that he feels is beneath him, he tries to make his wife choose him, and their old life, over his daughter. Overhearing her Father's plan to leave the program, leaving her in it alone, but not hearing her Mother's refusal, Iris runs away. Lily, the "Morris's" youngest daughter divulges a secret she and Iris have been keeping about the shooting that changes everything. Brandi and Raph become closer.
- Fred climbs out of the doghouse with Jackie by gathering inspiration from her soaps and figuring out a romantic way to propose to her. David climbs into the doghouse with Darlene by commenting that it's a woman's obligation to bear children. Dan joins David in the doghouse when his attempts to be romantic with Roseanne fall short. Roseanne dreams of being romanced by the men on One Life to Live (1968).