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1-74 of 74
- On an exceptionally foggy night Stan refuses to carry on with the journey unless someone walks in front of the bus with a torch. Blakey refuses,as does Olive,travelling with Mum and Arthur on their way back from seeing Aunt Maud. Olive gets caught short and attracts a cow onto the bus whilst Blakey gets ditch-water in his boots before the fog clears.
- Canteen manageress Suzy seems to be favoring Jack and Stan over Blakey and giving them considerably larger portions of food than him so he gets rid of her and replaces her with the austere ex-prison officer Gladys. But she too has needs and when Stan tries to charm her in order to get extra food he discovers exactly what they are. Eventually Blakey gets rid of her too and installs a vending machine.
- Once again Jack and Stan are in the inspector's bad books for using the bus to collect Christmas presents so, when a husband and wife crew report sick, he has the two men working on Christmas Day. Mum has cooked the turkey but to save Stan walking home Arthur agrees to collect him in the combination. But Arthur has had too much Christmas spirit and Olive agrees to drive, with Arthur and Mum to supervise. Unfortunately she crashes the bike and when they all get home the fire brigade has been called and the turkey is burnt to a cinder.
- When the rest of the family are going to stay with Aunt Maud,Stan is hopeful to have the house to himself with girl-friend Suzy. However they take an age to leave and Stan has to repair the sidecar before they can go. Unfortunately his weekend is ruined because the combination goes into a ditch and the family return early.
- Stan samples the home-brewed beer which he has just made. It is very, very strong indeed, so much so that when he goes to work he is already tipsy and Blakey breathalyses him. Thanks to Jack's little ploy the result is negative and Blakey assumes Stan is ill, sending him home. Here he finds that the family have well and truly been partaking of the home-brew and Arthur and Olive are getting very amorous with each other.
- Stan makes a down payment on a new colour television set but,since the old black and white one is clapped out,he fears he will get very little money for it. The solution - sell it to Blakey. Whilst Blakey is watching the set in his office there is an explosion,injuring him. Stan is sure the set has blown up and so he spends the rest of his Christmas money on a colour set for Blakey. All the family gather at Blakey's bedside - not so much to wish him to get well as to watch the colour set.
- The Butler family are feeling the financial squeeze and even have to hide from the milkman,as they cannot afford to pay him. Stan reckons Arthur should sell his sidecar combination but Arthur is not keen so Stan advertises it behind his back, attracting an unexpected buyer - Blakey. However the test run does not exactly go as planned.
- Stan is going steady with Sally, Blakey's niece and her uncle is far from happy with the arrangement. An old-fashioned family tea is arranged, laid on by the Butlers for Sally and Blakey. However,as the tea progresses it becomes evident that Sally and Stan have little in common. She is very critical of some of the things he says,which leads to a falling-out between the two families and the eventual calling-off of the engagement.
- Stan needs to transport Arthur and Olive's new bed to the house so he uses the 'L' bus,the passenger-free bus used to train drivers. However it breaks down and the bed needs to be transferred to another bed at the depot. Stan locks Blakey in whilst the transfer is being made but after being hit on the hit with the mattress Blakey charges Stan parcel rate for carrying the bed - the equivalent of thirty parcels.
- The toilet in the Butler household is exceedingly old, having been put in by Stan's grandfather and now it keeps making funny noises. Stan's efforts to mend it come to grief and, after having to use Jack's toilet, Stan decides to buy a new one. Unfortunately Blakey is less than pleased when he he sees it being carried home on the bus.
- Olive wants to re-decorate her and Arthur's bedroom, so, to do it on the cheap, Stan gets two tins of paint from the depot. They are the bus colours - red and yellow, which Arthur mixes to make green. Unfortunately he omits to add hardeners so that the paint is very, very, very, very, very slow-drying and Olive gets hand prints everywhere.
- Stan decides he can make more money if he heads North and gets work in a car factory but,rather than hand in his resignation, he gets Blakey to sack him so that he can get a week's wages. He celebrates his last night at home and is unable to eat the fry-up his Mum has cooked him so he sticks it in his uniform pocket,a fact that Blakey discovers when he comes around to collect the uniform. However,as he has been evicted from his own lodgings,he takes Stan's room and becomes the Butlers' new lodger.
- After a night out with Doreen, Stan is late for his early shift. Next day he is late again, after Arthur has muted his alarm clock to stop it waking the household up. Jack tries to cover for him, but Blakey puts him on the late shift instead - during which time Jack is getting his feet under the table at Doreen's place.
- There is a massive epidemic of the flu and many of the bus crews are down with it,which is good news for Stan and Jack as they are making a lot of money out of over-time. Stan has to be careful because the flu has now hit the Butler household and, whilst his new found wealth allows him to treat a young lady to a night on the town,it is not long before he too succumbs to the virus.
- The chairs in the Butler house need to be re-upholstered so Stan smuggles material used for the bus seats out of the depot. All goes well until Blakey drops by and the covers have to be covered up,though eventually Blakey tells Stan he knew what was going on and charges him for the fabric.
- Stan has an accident, sustaining an injury to his foot. Unfortunately for him, since it happened at home and not at work, he is told that he is not entitled to any form of compensation. Jack has an idea - to re-stage the accident at work so that Stan can make his claim. Sadly for them - and him - Blakey has the accident instead.
- When Blakey dismisses tea-lady Elsie Jack calls a strike - until Blakey bribes him and,with no strike pay available, the crews return to work - except the principled Stan. However after a disastrous day at home helping the family mount wall-paper,during which Arthur brings the ceiling down,he is only too pleased to return to work. Blakey tries to sack him but Jack gets both Stan and Elsie re-instated.
- When Blakey slips up on a chip on Stan's bus the company decrees that all staff should go on a First Aid course which they are obliged to pass. Stan has only twenty-four hours to swot up if he hopes to pass. Fortunately he has Arthur and Olive to help him out.
- After an argument over the poor quality of her food,canteen cook Mrs. Webb walks out,leaving the depot without a replacement. Jack suggests Olive's Mum,and she gets the job, after an interview with the new manager,Gerald Simpson,an old flame of hers from her wartime days. Simpson and Blakey do not get on and Jack sees this as an opportunity to take liberties with the inspector,knowing that Simpson will support him against Blakey. Sadly for Jack, Mr. Simpson is about to retire and the perks are coming to an end.
- Blakey is taking his mother to Brighton so the Butlers agree to look after his tank of tropical fish and his pedigree dachshund bitch Mitzi.The tank gets broken but Stan replaces it with one made from the bus windscreen and the fish are safe so Blakey does not notice the difference. However,Arthur has let Mitzi play with the pub's - male - Dalmatian and she has put on weight by the time Blakey reclaims her.
- Blakey takes sadistic pleasure in making Stan and Jack man the bus for the dreaded kids' outing,which gets off to a bad start when Blakey accuses Stan of giving his nephew a girlie magazine. The kids put sugar in the petrol tank and the exhaust drops off, requiring Stan to do a drag act to amuse the kids whilst the bus is being mended.
- Mary, the rather prim and proper new nurse at the depot,is in need of lodgings and Stan's Mum offers her the front room. Arthur is immediately taken by her refinement and her taste in art house films and, to the amazement of the household and dismay of Olive, takes her out. Mary, however, is not into dating married men and does the decent thing, dropping Arthur and moving out of the house.
- Whilst Stan earns extra money by cleaning, the foolish Arthur falls for Beryl, a conductress who likes athletic men, particularly those with a full head of hair. In desperation he buys boxes of wigs, which are eventually discovered by the family, who mock him as a result. He puts one on in order to impress Beryl but his head gets stuck in the bus doors and the wig falls off.
- It's Boxing Day and Arthur's mother has come to stay, along with his sister Linda,who throws herself at all the men, including Jack. The two families go to the bus company's dance where Arthur warns Jack to keep away from Linda but is himself the object of desire for conductress Beryl, leading to Olive causing a scene. Later, as Blakey shows Arthur's mother around the depot, they catch Stan and Linda in a compromising position.
- Blakey has only been in the house a short while before he causes trouble because he has no hot water for shaving and his efforts to mend the immersion heater end in predictable disaster. When Jack manages to get a new boiler - acquired from the bus depot,of course - they attempt to install it,soaking themselves and flooding the house in the process.
- At the social club Stan's Mum meets a man called Wilfred and her behaviour changes drastically. She stays out late with him and buys clothes more suited to a younger woman in addition to a wig. She neglects her household chores, meaning that Stan, Olive - a terrible cook as ever - and Arthur have to do them all. Fortunately for them,however, they discover that Wilfred is already married.
- Jack and Stan are amongst bus crew staff who have been attacked by drunken yobs and,when Blakey advertises a self-defence class,teaching martial arts,the pair decide to join - chiefly because two attractive conductresses are also in the class. Inevitably the two men get thrown around by the women and discover that Blakey is no slouch either.
- Stan gets his uniform dirty unblocking the sink and, though he should really pay twenty-four pounds for a new one,Jack persuades Blakey to let him have one for free. Unfortunately this gets covered in paint and when an extra strong cleaning fluid is applied to it it rips it to shreds. Stan makes do with an old one from a recently retired driver to be told by Blakey that he knew Stan would mess up the new uniform as soon as he got it.
- Stan wrenches his back and the doctor suggests he wear a corset. He is not helped by hearing Blakey say that wearing a corset ruined his brother's life and has to be helped into the cab. His girl-friend Doreen helps him off with the corset but he falls down and injures his back again. As she helps him upstairs he muses on the irony of being put to bed by a woman when he is incapable of capitalizing on it.
- Arthur buys an old motor-bike and sidecar combination,which has seen better days,so Stan 'borrows' a tool-kit from the depot to get it working. Unfortunately,it breaks down again,the handle-bars fall off and Blakey hands them in to lost property. An exasperated Stan kicks the bike,finally seeing it on its way.
- A vacancy comes up for an inspector and Blakey puts Jack's name forward. Stan feels betrayed until Jack points out to him that he will arrange for Stan to have limitless over-time as well as pairing him with nubile conductress Christine. The reality is very different, however, as the power goes to Jack's head and he informs on Stan to Blakey and Stan is mightily relieved when Jack is eventually demoted.
- Stan is not feeling well as he is suffering from stomach aches. Arthur reckons it's because he eats too many chips and other fried foods and suggests he go on a diet. At the same time the depot are giving the staff medicals and those deemed unfit will be put on menial duties. Stan goes on the diet and passes the medical though finds it might have been better if he had failed it.
- The crews must all submit to a medical and Stan and Jack think it would be amusing to eavesdrop as Blakey is examined by a brisk lady doctor. However, when he says that his days are numbered Stan assumes that he is terminally ill, becomes extra nice to him and asks him round for tea - which does make him ill. As Stan is about to give Blakey a presentation, the inspector explains. When he said his days were numbered he meant that he was considering retirement but now he is so touched by Stan's kindness that he intends to stay on.
- Conductress Edna gets evicted and Stan feels responsible as he was late taking her home so he persuades Mum to take her as a lodger,along with her very big dog,Coco. Stan's plans to get into her room are thwarted so he barks like a dog to bring Edna downstairs. However she assumes Coco is pining for her and takes him into her room. Ultimately Stan ends up dog-sitting whilst Edna goes out with Jack.
- After Stan has had to apply the brakes quickly,causing a big woman passenger to fall on top of him, Blakey devises a new exit and entry system for the buses to leave and return to the depot. Unfortunately Stan forgets this and crashes into Blakey's office. The inspector feels Stan should be fired but union rep Jack points out that he was only following Blakey's orders.
- A new batch of young girls training to be conductresses arrives,out of which Sally is the girl who turns all the men's heads. Jack and Stan seriously compete with each other for her attentions. Unfortunately, as Stan will soon find out she has an all too familiar uncle - Blakey.
- Brand new stream-lined uniforms are being issued to the crews and Jack and Stan are the first to wear them. The uniforms are so attractive that two Swedish girls that the two men meet in the pub mistake them for airline pilots and are keen for a date. Unfortunately the new uniforms are recalled and the two Swedes are less than impressed to see Stan and Jack in their usual,old uniforms.
- Stan's Mum has won a prize - an all-inclusive holiday for two in Spain and so Stan, Olive and Arthur are all keen to dance attendance on her in the hopes that they will be her chosen travelling companion. Eventually it is revealed that the competition's organizer has been arrested for fraud and so there is no holiday after all. Mum was aware of this but she kept it to herself because it was so nice to have all the others waiting on her.
- When Blakey insists forms are filled in for all lost property found on the buses Jack and Stan 'find'a truss, a pair of panties and a chamber pot to embarrass him. Then Stan finds an envelope as he is about to knock off and takes it home. Blakey rings to say it contains a diamond,which gets lost and turns up in Olive's corn plaster. Stan is grateful that Blakey kept his name out of things for taking the envelope home until he learns that Blakey claimed the reward for finding the diamond.
- Despite being a full-grown man Stan still has to try and smuggle women into his room behind the backs of his disapproving Mum and sneaking Arthur so he rents a room at Blakey's house. Unfortunately Blakey is just as strict when Stan tries to sneak a girlfriend into his room and, when Mum gets ill, Stan decides he is no better off with Blakey and returns home.
- To make money the family takes a lodger, Mr. Nichols,the new transport manager, and of course he is in Stan's room. Olive's innocent suggestion that he can have anything he wants when Arthur is out is misunderstood,leading to his eviction. Stan vows never to have another lodger,thereby turning down the opportunity to give a room to an attractive young lady.
- A poster of a faceless driver appears at the depot. It is a plan to boost falling passenger figures and advertises a competition with a prize of a hundred pounds to be ... The perfect driver.Jack secretly enters Stan though the other finalists are hunky sportsmen and Stan's family take him to the chemist to buy him a rejuvenating face pack to give him a chance. Will he beat off the well-toned opposition to get his face - and - name on the poster? Of course he will.
- With the women of the family down with flu Arthur and Stan must play nursemaid but then Arthur also catches the flu, leaving Stan to cook - at which he is dreadful - and shop and clean,in addition to his day job. Eventually the family goes to recuperate at Aunt Maud's house and Stan decides to throw a party to celebrate, only to go down with the flu himself.
- Stan is going on a literal busman's holiday to Spain with other crew members, and decides to get a tan by sunbathing at the local graveyard. Unfortunately a tramp steals his uniform, and he has to break into his holiday money in order to buy a new one. Due to Mum's zeal when it comes to packing his case, he has to dip into it again as a penalty for carrying excess baggage.
- A new conductor turns out to be a conductress, Iris, whom Stan dates. Despite being middle-aged he does not want his family to know and says he is on a late shift whilst taking Iris to the pub, where Arthur sees them. Arthur and Stan's mum also foil Stan's efforts after he has brought Iris home though he eventually makes up with her.
- When a vacancy arises for an inspector the crew-men are not keen to apply,fearing that they will end up like Blakey. But needs must in the Butler household as Mum needs a new coat and Stan takes the vacancy. However he soon realises that he is better off doing his old job and is happy to return to the ranks.
- Jack goes out on a date with Fatima, an exotic dancer who uses a snake in her act but he does not want the snake to go with them so he puts it in Stan's bag. Back at the Butler house the bag appears to move of its own accord before the snakes jumps out,causing general confusion. Jack and Fatima eventually turn up to take the snake away.
- At Blakey's behest a two-way radio system is installed in the drivers' cabs,meaning that the depot can hear what is going on in the cabs at all times - not a very popular idea with Jack and Stan. However,when they pull two conductresses,one of whom leans against the radio switch,turning it on, Blakey hears the sweet nothings Stan is telling her and assumes that they are meant for him.
- Blakey pairs Jack with trainee conductress, Jessie, who he hopes will drive Jack mad with her incessant talking. The austere,bespectacled Jessie is a feminist and she takes exception to the fact that female staff have to pay to use public toilets on the bus routes. Supported by Jack,she persuades Blakey to give the women an allowance so that they can literally spend a penny. Blakey decides to check up to make sure the money is being used properly and ends up getting arrested for spying on a ladies' toilet.
- The bus staff are given some say in the running of their canteen and Stan is put in charge as manager. He employs Mrs. Sharma as a cook but she can only make Indian dishes and so he replaces her with Olive. This is an even worse executive decision as Olive is a terrible cook and ultimately Stan is reduced to buying fish and chips from the local takeaway.
- Blakey has fallen for Amazonian canteen worker Molly and wants to marry her and go and live in the country. Jack and Stan are not pleased when they see Stewart, the tough new inspector,and are also aware that Molly is fickle and will two-time Blakey. A situation is contrived where the Butler family are aware that Stan has had Molly in his room, after which Blakey catches the two of them snogging on the bus. He is not convinced when Stan says he did it for the inspector's own good and threatens to make his life a misery.
- Middle-aged bus driver Stan Butler lives with his mum,sister Olive and her grumpy husband Arthur. He and aging Lothario conductor Jack are constantly battling miserable inspector Blakey and when Blakey closes the canteen after Stan has been eating in the bus cabin,industrial action is called for. Stan lies in front of the bus Blakey is driving and attracts the attention of a news crew.
- When an article appears to claim that bus crew,by nature of their sedentary work, are prone to a short life expectancy, this gets Mum and Jack worried and, as a consequence, both Jack and Stan have to subject themselves to a routine of physical jerks and healthy living, only to discover ultimately that the article was mistaken.
- As a tenth anniversary present Aunt Maud sends Olive and Arthur a dog, which Olive names Scruffy,but he eats Arthur's food and gives him a sneezing allergy,so Olive takes him back to Aunt Maud by bus. The dog goes for Blakey,tearing his trousers, and he fines Olive a fiver,but Jack anticipates that if they have a whip-round at the depot everyone will want to support the dog that bit the inspector.
- Stan is to be the best man when his friend Bill marries Sally, Blakey's niece. However Stan and Jack get as drunk as Bill on the stag night and wake up the whole house trying to perfect a cure for hang-overs. Stan puts the ring on his finger to ensure it does not get lost but ends up by swallowing it and the bride has to borrow a ring from Olive while Blakey suggests Stan stops off at casualty on his way to the reception.
- It's the annual bus crew's ball and,to Blakey's displeasure, Stan and Jack have booked a stripper they saw at a local pub. Furthermore the man in whose lap her panties land gets to take them backstage to return to her. Olive's dress needs altering which involves trying to smuggle a tailor's dummy on the bus but eventually she and the rest of the family go to the dance. Poor Olive gets some unwanted attention when the panties land in her lap and a load of men rush her but Stan manages to pocket them and go backstage for his reward.
- The bus crews are encouraged to form their own staff football team,to take on the Basildon Bashers. Jack and Stan are not enthusiastic but there is a five pound bonus on offer. The depot only has one star player,young Bob,and Stan injures him in training,so he asks Blakey if he can field a substitute - Olive. Blakey feels that women and football do not mix - until he sees the Basildon Bashers. They are an all-female team and they contrive by fair means and foul to give Stan's team a good pasting.
- Olive is offended when Arthur gets too friendly with Wendy, a conductress they meet at the social club, and she leaves in a huff with Mum. Arthur fails to come home and Olive, believing the worst, throws him out. Mum tries to get Blakey to sack Wendy for immoral behaviour and Olive accuses Wendy of stealing her man to which Wendy points out that she has no interest in such a shrivelled-up old loser and it is revealed that Arthur in fact spent the night asleep in the sidecar as he couldn't kick start the combination. Appreciating that Arthur was faithful to her Olive has him back.
- Stan has borrowed money from a bouncer called Basher, who will live up to his name if he is not repaid. After an unsuccessful venture using the bus to help a conductress's mother move house, Stan comes up with the idea of using the bus to give the senior citizens a day out. A small cost for each will repay the money he owes but, unfortunately, Blakey hears of the scheme and charges him the bus hire, so he ends up out of pocket.
- There is to be a competition among the bus crews for the owner of the best-kept garden and Jack and Blakey both enter,once Blakey has rid the Butler back yard of all the old rubbish that has accumulated there. It develops into a grudge match with both men trying to sabotage each other's garden,culminating in Blakey's arrest for trying to chop Jack's tree down. In the event, of course,neither man wins the title.
- Sick of Arthur and Olive constantly rowing Stan takes his sister to a marriage counsellor,who suggests Olive make herself look more glamorous,which she does - to no avail. The next plan is to make Arthur jealous as Jack flirts with her but there is still no response from Arthur. Time to bring on the big guns and to set up Blakey as Olive's supposed lover,and,oddly,this does the trick,even giving Olive the confidence to flirt with a young window cleaner.
- Following a fire in the depot's paint shop due to a carelessly dropped cigarette smoking is banned. This hits Stan hard especially when Arthur bets him that he cannot give up the weed and the two men vie to see who can hold out for the longest. Then Stan lights up on a bus,causing a fire,from which he rescues Blakey. The bus company however is pleased that the bus is destroyed as it was very old and the insurance - using the ploy that faulty wiring caused the spark - will pay for a new one.
- Following an argument over the use of the staff darts board Stan and Jack are challenged to a match by his old flame Iris and her friend. Stan tries to practice but drops his darts into Olive's stew and has trouble adjusting to his new set, ultimately - thanks also to Iris's wiles - losing the match. He is replaced on the team by his Mum,who proves to be an excellent player.
- The family run into money problems when Olive and Mum spend 50 pounds in the same week Stan blows a week's wages in one night on his girlfriend.
- Stan's baser instincts are aroused when he sees Stella, the new canteen girl,bending over to clean the tables. He starts to date her but ends up by lending her money for her rent and fails to get her to stay the night. Ultimately he comes to see that she has been using him,spending the money on smart clothes in order to get a job in the general manager's office. She therefore feels it inappropriate to be seen going out with a mere bus driver.
- To Stan's horror Olive gets a job as a bus conductress but she gets sick from the diesel fumes as well as getting stuck in the doors. It is down to Stan to think up an ingenious plan to get Olive off the buses - like saying that she is pregnant.
- It's a hundred years since the Luxton Bus Company came into being and fifty years since they got their first motor bus. To celebrate the good old days Blakey organizes an exhibition and,after showing Mum and Olive around some of the museum pieces, Stan falls asleep at the wheel of a bus from the turn of the century,imagining his present-day family and colleagues in previous incarnations. Olive is a militant suffragette,Mum a washerwoman and Blakey is still Blakey,except his nickname is the Kaiser.
- It's a trip down memory lane for Stan who, having dented the bus, recalls the days over a decade earlier when he was a conductor and Blakey was a driver and they got on well prior to the latter's promotion. He also recollects how Arthur, who had hair, came to stay as a lodger and was caught in bed with Olive, after accidentally straying into her room, causing Mum to order their marriage. It is also Arthur who provides Stan with the rude awakening from his memories.
- Blakey's mother comes to stay and proves to be a thoroughly unpleasant and domineering woman who treats her Cyril as if he was a little boy and Mum and Olive as if they were her servants. Mum bears it for a while because she fears Blakey and his rent money will go if she stands up to the old dragon but the last straw comes at the social club's bingo night,when Jack calls the winning number - on Mrs. Blake's card but paid for by Mum. Blakey's Mum has won ninety-seven pounds, which she refuses to share,causing Mum to finally snap and let fly at her,with support from an unexpected quarter.
- It's six months since Arthur walked out on her so Olive,armed with a list of grievances prepared by Mum and Stan,goes to court and is granted her divorce.With Mum going to stay with Aunt Maud Olive is very much the gooseberry as she accompanies Stan and his girl-friend Sandra to the pictures - to see a sexy film about a recently divorced woman - where Olive sits next to a groper. Stan gets Blakey to see Olive home whilst he goes to Sandra's for some rumpy-pumpy but Olive turns up to interrupt him as she has forgotten her house key.
- Mum's sister, Aunt Maud, comes to stay, bringing her once little dog, Marcus, now a huge wolfhound. Their presence means a change of sleeping arrangements and a sleepless night for Stan, bunking up with Arthur. Further problems arise for Stan when he tries to smuggle Marcus onto the bus to take Aunt Maud home without Blakey finding out.
- With money tight as ever in the Butler home Stan asks Blakey to employ Olive on the buses and eventually he relents. Olive's last excursion into being a conductress was a disaster but now she is completely in charge,super-efficient to the point of annoying, particularly as she has learnt the rule book off by heart and takes Stan to task for his rule-bending.It can't last.
- According to the tea-leaves - and the horoscopes - romance is in the air for both Olive and her Mum and it looks as if the partner of their dreams is none other than Blakey. An unlikely object of desire Blakey has to put up with two generations of Butler womenfolk fighting it out to be the perfect house-wife.
- As an aid to married conductresses with small children, the bus company opens a creche,run by a formidable elderly nurse. Stan suggests that Olive would be suitable as the nurse's assistant,though Olive is not especially competent and when she breaks her glasses then Stan and Jack have to look after the babies for her.