How Many Episodes Of "My Family" Have You Seen?

Michael is being bullied by a classmate, and Susan discusses the issue with the boy's parents. Meanwhile, Janey is determined to get a tattoo.

Ben takes Susan away for her birthday, and Nick is left in charge.

As one of Susan's tour group dies unexpectedly, she decides that the family needs life insurance. Nick agrees, but only in order to win favour with his new girlfriend - a life insurance salesperson!

Ben is rushed to hospital after turning white and is forced to reveal that he took Viagra. Placed on a low-carb diet, he turns to Brigitte's guru for help. Meanwhile, Susan's yoga teacher has fallen out with her husband and the class takes place in the Harpers' house.

Susan thinks she has become pregnant and Ben is disappointed about the prospect of having another child. When they realize it was a false alarm, Susan decides that the answer is surgery - on Ben!

When Susan finds that Janey doesn't trust her, she lets her have a teenage party alone while she is in Oxford with Ben. However the two lose confidence and return, only to be trapped in their bedroom when the guests arrive. When Ben needs to use the toilet, and the one in their bedroom is broken, things only get worse!

Ben feuds with his neighbor, Mr Casey, and the two become involved in a lengthy battle for moral supremacy. Meanwhile, Janey has her driving test but cannot find a responsible adult to practice with.

Susan is disapproving of Nick's new girlfriend, Amanda, and invites her to dinner to express her feelings on the matter. Things become heated, however, when Susan realizes that she's married! Meanwhile, Michael has a new computer, and Janey feels neglected.

Susan sends Janey in her place to visit her mother, where Janey finds out a family secret. Meanwhile, Michael stands in his school elections and Ben is on a quest to find excitement in his family tree.

When Ben meets one of his old school-friends he considers the idea of investing some money, and asks him for advice. Meanwhile Nick tries to sell his body parts on eBay!

Janey goes to university in Manchester, and an all out battle ensues over her room.

Ben's cousin's daughter Abi is invited to dinner. Nick becomes a magician.

Janey calls home from university in crisis. Ben and Susan have a romantic adventure.

Michael is invited into a girl's room. Ben and Susan find a joint.

Susan wants to go away for her and Ben's wedding anniversary. Nick wins a car in a poker game. Michael finds some underwear.

Michael is off for a higher maths fun weekend, and with everyone else gone Ben and Susan have the weekend alone.

Nick and Ben reach a turning point. Michael tries to buff up.

A new arrival at Ben's surgery leads to problems. Nick studies to becomes an extra. Michael gets very involved with the cadet force.

When Susan's mother comes to stay, Nick's flat suddenly becomes more attractive. Susan finds a condom in Michael's wallet.

Ben joins a poetry group when Susan discovers that a poem he wrote her years ago was not original and demands another. Nick participates in a drug trial.

Susan becomes temporarily blind after a discovery at home. Ben has jury duty.

Susan decides Ben should spend more time with Michael. Nick juggles multiple women. Janey's baby comes for a visit.

Ben loses his luggage on a free holiday to Lanzarote, Spain. A new camera causes complications.

Roger is contagious. Nick goes into business with a python. Michael fires a rocket launcher through a window.

Susan is lying in bed, bored and depressed, with a broken leg, after Ben accidentally reversed the car into her. When Ben comes upstairs to see how she is they end up discussing their family, which depresses them both.

Michael's new friend likes Susan.

Susan tries to find a date for Roger to make Abi jealous.

Ben starts thinking about his will. Nick takes a job at a funeral home.

When one of Ben's patients admits to murdering his wife, Susan tries to expose the killer.

One of Britain's best loved heartthrobs visits Ben's surgery. Susan is fired.

Susan attends a neighbor's book club. Janey works for Ben. Abi wants Coldplay tickets.

Janey's announcement makes the Harpers more festive, but complications, of course, set in, beginning with her fiancé

Ben hates Christmas at the best of times but this year mother-in-law Grace is staying, Nick's hippy friend Alfie turns up from Wales and Susan insists on booking an expensive clown, Shingles, for Kenzo's birthday on Christmas Eve. To save money Ben asks Roger to play the clown but he gets drunk so Ben has to save the day. Finding an expensive ring Ben thinks it is a present from Susan - but it turns out to be from Grace for her lover - so he buys her a first edition of a Virginia Woolf novel at a grand plus.

When an old acquaintance turns up boasting of her perfect life, Susan is on a mission to prove her own life is better. Meanwhile, Ben angers cyclists with his rant on a radio programme, and Abi is influenced by the wrong chef.

Ben, yearning for a boat, and facing mounting costs for two schools, looks for an easy fix when Roger tells him of a new company -- an all he has to do to get rich is push home products door to door.

Michael's gone for the weekend and Janey's moving back to her flat, so Susan fills the hole in her heart by adopting yet another stray. Elsewhere, Abi begins to question whether Roger is really interested in her.. or any females.

Hoping to avoid yet another awful family Christmas Ben pretends to be ill so Susan calls his bluff and insists on taking him to see a doctor, which results in hospital admission. Meanwhile Janey is desperate to buy Kenzo the latest 'must have' toy and the boys take advantage of Ben's absence to throw a Christmas party. Then the news arrives from the hospital - Ben really is ill and his condition requires surgery.

Elderly patient Henry Phillips dies of natural causes in Ben's surgery, having confessed to Ben that he has a much younger wife Celia and a much younger mistress Stacey. Ben goes to comfort the widow but is mindful that he must keep the two women apart, in which capacity he goes to the old man's funeral. Susan, however, starts to suspect that her husband may be having the affair and, armed with her new mobile phone that takes photographs, follows him.

Susan is accompanying millionaire businessman James Garrett on an art- buying weekend and, due to an oversight, they must share a twin bedroom. Ben is jealous but without foundation. Michael has a university interview and Ben drives him there, stopping to buy him his first pint on the way. Unfortunately this causes Michael to be sick all over the interviewer.

Charlie Briggs, Ben's old student friend, is getting married but it's to a man because Charlie has had gender realignment and is now a woman. Charlie asks Ben to give her away but Ben is lost for words so Susan steps in instead. Roger's domineering mother arrives. She plans to buy Abi and Roger the house next to hers, an idea which appalls Abi and Susan persuades Roger to talk her out of it for his bride's sake.

The Drapers are amongst the Harpers' oldest friends so Ben and Susan are amazed to learn that they are breaking up. However this leads to Ben and Susan having their own domestic argument. Janey gets Kenzo an audition in an advertisement for breakfast cereal but starts to feel guilty when she thinks that she never asked if he wanted to take part. In the event the job goes to her instead.

Susan treats Ben to a Christmas hotel break supposedly just for the two of them, but she has secretly invited other family members, including Alfie and his strange Uncle Idris and Michael's left-wing girl-friend Gwen. Abi is also working as the hotel's masseuse. Crystal, a patient besotted with Ben, arrives to say her jealous boy-friend has escaped from jail and is on his way to kill Ben. Fortunately he is caught but Ben still has to face the rest of the family, though all ends well in a room full of presents.

Ben's attempt to pay money into his bank unhappily coincides with someone else's decision to take some out... with the aid of sawn-off shotguns. When he decides to act as The Negotiator things look bleak for the hostages.

Ben decides to sell his dental practice and takes up a hobby which he finds even more boring, while Susan's move up the ladder at the art gallery leads to more than one fall.

Michael and Alfie's internet dating doesn't go quite according to plan; and Kenzo's piano playing may leave a lot to be desired, but will Ben's attempt to get his old band together prove a bigger hit?

For Christmas Ben gets Susan a present from the store where Alfie works as one of Santa's elves - a vacuum cleaner. Having been told this is unromantic he buys a necklace and is annoyed to find he could have got it for half price in the sale if he had waited a day. The family decide to get a picture of Ben and Susan on their wedding day put on mugs and other household items as a romantic souvenir, but, due to a mix-up at the factory, a rather saucier one of them on their honeymoon night is displayed instead.

Michael applies to join MI5 and Janey starts dating an older man, James, who nonetheless is rich and successful and the kind of son-in-law that Ben would be quite happy to welcome to the fold. However, when he is seen kissing another woman, is he the real deal?

When Michael admits to going to see a therapist but will not tell his parents why, they are intrigued as to the reason. Could it be that his apparently talking to himself has something to do with it? They decide to get into the therapist's office to look at the files. Alfie finds himself in the unusual position of having not one but two possible girl-friends moving in with him.

Susan wants a dog but the assessor from the dogs' home deems her unsuitable so Ben goes to the kennels to sneak one out for her, only to find she is already there and about to call in the press as a protest against the assessors' decision. She then handcuffs Ben to one of the bars and leaves him to be her spokesman to the reporter.

Susan, stranded at an Albanian airport, is charmed when a handsome American calling himself the Doctor rescues her and invites her to travel the world with him. Ben, meanwhile, has lunch with old college friend Jeremy, now a celebrity dentist with an international clientèle and a successful autobiography. However, after a few drinks he confesses that he hates his life style, envies Ben, and wants to discard all his perks. Can Ben talk him out of it?

It's Christmas 2039. Ben looks like an octogenarian but Susan, thanks to moisturisers, still looks middle-aged. Janey has ballooned, Mikey has lost all his hair and is resorting to an ill-fitting wig and Roger, thanks to an accident at the zoo, is just a head in a glass case. Kenzo is late in arriving, giving the family time to look back on some of their worst Christmas days ever, though the worst one of all time, as Kenzo reminds them, was when Uncle Richard came to stay.

Given that he used to have lots of girl-friends, when Michael comes out as gay, Ben is perplexed but determined to be supportive. Susan is just annoyed that Michael told Ben first. Ben's pride in his son's sexuality leads to his proclaiming it to a new patient - who just happens to be the homophobic, bigoted father of Michael's boy-friend Scott. When he throws Scott out it's down to Susan to save the situation.

Craig, a young Australian, arrives at the house, claiming his mother was at college with Ben and Susan lets him stay in exchange for doing some decorating. Initially irritated by him, Ben starts to worry when it looks as if Craig could be his illegitimate son, especially as the lad starts dating Janey. Clumsy efforts are made to obtain Craig's DNA though the biggest surprise comes from Susan.

Whilst Susan is away Ben takes part in a police identity parade, where he is picked out as being a mugger and remanded in a cell with hard cases Carl and Terry. They hire their brief to get him released but later turn up at his house, wanting to lie low, along with Carl's wife Verity, who wants sex with Ben. To Ben's horror Carl wants to watch them, causing Ben to take drastic action - which gets him arrested again.

Whilst playing Santa at Susan's works Christmas party Ben becomes emotionally involved when a little girl asks him to reconcile her mother and grand-father, who have fallen out. He actually succeeds, winning rare praise from Susan for his efforts. The Harpers are less successful, though, when their lavish New year party, with fireworks, a band and food from T.V. chef Ainsley Harriott initially fails to poach guests from nasty neighbour Casey's glitzy annual event. Can recent dental patient Rolf Harris save the night with his presence or will the rocket literally go up? At least Susan and Ben see in the New Year presenting a united front.

Susan gets an audition as a presenter of a pre-school TV show alongside a puppet monkey after a producer hears her reading to children in the library. There is however one other applicant - Janey - resulting in dirty tricks and neither getting the job though Janey gets the consolation prize. Ben forms a union to protest against time cards being introduced at work so his boss forestalls threatened strike action by giving him an executive post with Cavitex, pitting him against his colleagues. When he sees that he has been used, at least Ben does the right thing and resigns.

Janey and Michael give their parents a Spanish holiday as an anniversary present but Michael has used Ben's credit card to finance it and needs to replace the money quickly so he contacts 'Cash In the Attic', finding that the only sale worth a four figure sum is Susan's beloved antique clock. Ben and Susan meanwhile find themselves in quarantine with a bore, a nervous wreck and a singing nun but show rare unity in seeing them all off. However, will they notice the clock's absence on their return?

Susan drags a reluctant Ben along to a Keep Your Marriage Fresh weekend, where his anarchy and their mutual antipathy get them thrown out by the hippie in charge. Back at the house Michael gets dumped by boyfriend Matt, who is anxious to get to know Janey better but she displays family loyalty by showing him the door.

At Susan's mother's funeral, Arthur, the father who abandoned the family thirty years earlier, turns up and takes such a dislike to Ben he offers his daughter a million pounds to divorce him. Ben and Susan agree on the understanding they will remarry but Arthur dies on them, which is as well since he is broke. However the Harpers have already started divorce proceedings and must pay for them to be halted. Michael, likewise, does himself no good by pretending to be dying in order to date a young undertaker.

Susan gets depressed after a younger woman gets her job and she is asked to make a speech at a school reunion only because four other ex-pupils were unavailable. She decides she needs a more youthful image and opts for Botox. Ben is not convinced but fortunately the other attendees at the reunion have followed Susan's example.