- Opening Title Card: TO MAKE DUCKS AND DRAKES: To squander foolishly one's property - or one's life. Webster.
- Title Card: Teddy Simpson, a mischievous duckling, just outgrowing pin-feathers.
- Title Card: Richard Chiltern, a gay old drake, who never lets business interfere with his flighty habits
- Dick Chiltern: [on the phone] Who are you?
- Teddy Simpson: Just a lonely little girl who wants someone to talk to.
- Rob Winslow: Please, Teddy, set a date for our wedding.
- Teddy Simpson: What's the use of marrying you, Rob - you're always around anyway!
- Teddy Simpson: You and Aunty just want to cage me, make me wear flat-heeled shoes and - and have a lot of babies!
- Title Card: Tom Hazzard, a literary coot, poses as an anarchist while using Teddy for copy.
- Teddy Simpson: [on the phone with Dick] Is this you, Mr. XYZ? I wish I knew what you look like.
- Dick Chiltern: Oh, I'm a handsome young fellow, full of pep and crazy about the girls.
- Rob Winslow: [Hears Dick talking on the phone] Dick, cut it out! You're too old for that sort of stuff.
- Dick Chiltern: [puts his hand over the phone - talking to Tweed] Some little minx - got her on a crossed wire - been flirting ever since.
- Teddy Simpson: So you are Mr. X?
- Dick Chiltern: You are surprised at my age?
- Teddy Simpson: It was a bit of a shock.
- Dick Chiltern: There's lots of life in the old dog yet!
- Col. Tweed: [Pretending to be an escaped convict] I've been in the pen for fifteen years! Gee, you're pretty!
- Teddy Simpson: You touch me, and I'll...
- Col. Tweed: The more you fight, the more I like it!
- Rob Winslow: I know who she is.
- Tom Hazzard: Are you sure?
- Rob Winslow: I ought to be - I'm engaged to marry her. She's the daughter of our old club-mate - Tony Simpson. I knew she flirted over the phone, but I didn't know she had landed two of my best friends. The danger is that some bounder may take advantage of her.
- Col. Tweed: You mustn't let her make ducks and drakes of her reputation.
- Dick Chiltern: I have it! I'll tell you how I cured my second wife of doing the same thing.
- Teddy Simpson: I've got the mumps! I can't go to lunch - I can't even eat pickles, can I, Doctor?
- Dick Chiltern: Pickles?
- Teddy Simpson: I won't let you examine me, Doctor, while Aunty Weeks is in the room - she embarrasses me.
- Teddy Simpson: I love the way your lashes curl. You know, Hazzy, there is something very strange about you! You've never tried to kiss me - and most of the boys I meet get fresh before I've known them five minutes!
- Tom Hazzard: Well, you're a very alluring young lady!
- Teddy Simpson: Hazzy, do you think it right for girls to be rushed into marriage - before they have had any experience at all?
- Rob Winslow: What a pretty negligée!
- Teddy Simpson: And Aunt Weeks didn't want me to buy it.
- Rob Winslow: Why, you look lovely in it.
- Teddy Simpson: [Last line] Rob dear, some day I'll tell you how you saved me from making ducks and drakes of my life.