Jazz Heaven (1929)

Joseph Cawthorn: Herman Kemple

Quotes 

• Herman Kemple : If you want to take a girl to the opening of the Follies, for 27 dollars and 50 cents a seat, that's all right. That's your business. But, it's got to come from your own pocket. You can't chuck this firm's money around like that!

  Walter Klucke : But, it's business!

  Herman Kemple : Aw! Business? What kind of business?

• Herman Kemple : That ain't good business, that's makin' whoopee with the firm's money!

  Walter Klucke : That don't mean makin' whoopee.

  Herman Kemple : Is that so? Say, listen, any time a man pays 55 dollars for two seats in a theater, if that don't mean makin' whoopee! - well, then he's a schiemel. That's all I gotta say.

• Herman Kemple : Say, since when was bein' nice to Ruth - in your department?

• Walter Klucke : Say, listen, you must not be seen at the Follies. If you, eh, if you want to be seen at places, you've got to look smart.

  Herman Kemple : Oh, I've got to look smart, now, heh? It ain't enough for me to be smart, now I got to look smart, heh!

  Walter Klucke : Who ever said you were smart? I am smarter than you ever was.

  Herman Kemple : Listen, the only time you was ever smarter than me, was when I took you for a partner!

• Herman Kemple : Beware of songwriters! Never trust anything but a publisher.

• Ruth Morgan : Pat that boy on the back and he'll be writing rhapsodies.

  Herman Kemple : Yes and I suppose if you hit him on the head he'd write you a grand opera!

  Ruth Morgan : Aw, don't be cute!

• Walter Klucke : She might go with me if I told her I'd take her to the Starlight Gardens.

  Herman Kemple : She wouldn't go with you if you told her you'd take her to the Garden of Eden.