- Judge: You're charged with vagrancy. Are you guilty or not guilty?
- Oliver: Not guilty, Your Highness.
- Judge: On what grounds?
- Stanley Laurel: We weren't on the grounds - we were sleeping on a park bench.
- Judge: If the jail wasn't full, I'd give you both 180 days. In as much as the jail is full, I'm going to give you both just one hour.
- Oliver: Thank you, sir.
- Judge: To get out of town! And never let me set eyes on you again. Case dismissed.
- Stanley Laurel: Does that mean we can go back and sleep on the park bench?
- Judge: Scram! Or I'll build a jail for you.
- Oliver: What's the matter, neighbor?
- Drunk: I los' the key to my car.
- Stanley Laurel: Can't you find it?
- Drunk: No. Thas' why I'm lookin'.
- Oliver: [Stan and the Drunk have fallen into the open sewer. Before Ollie can help them out, a patrolling officer approaches] Shh, here comes a policeman.
- Drunk: Fell down the grating.
- [Stan shushes him]
- Drunk: Oh pfffffffbt!
- [the policeman thinks Ollie blew a raspberry at him and whacks him on the shoulder with his truncheon]
- Stanley Laurel: [whispers] It's a policeman.
- Drunk: A policeman? Pfffffffffbt!
- [Enraged, the policeman chases Ollie around the block]
- Drunk: My room is upstairs to the left. Now, you palsies go and make yourself comfortable. I'll go and put the car away and then I'll make a little drink.
- Oliver: It's raining outside and we got all wet.
- Mrs. Beaumont: Is my husband wet too?
- Stanley Laurel: Wet? He's soaked!
- Oliver: You see what a little kindness will do. Now, if we hadn't stopped to help him, we wouldn't be in a spot like this. I wonder where he is?
- Drunk: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
- Hawkins - the Butler: Might I ask what you're doing here?
- Drunk: Isn't this my house?
- Hawkins - the Butler: It certainly is not!
- Drunk: ...Ooh, maybe I better go then.
- Hawkins - the Butler: Maybe you had!