- Lefty Merrill: The world is like a cow, bellowing to be milked and if you're smart, you'll get yourself a bucket.
- Lefty Merrill: But Mrs. Waters, there's a crime wave!
- Lil Waters: Yeah.. and it looks like you're it!
- Lil Waters: There's nobody innocent in southern California! It's just a big duckpond full of leeches. We're leavin' for New York.
- Lefty Merrill: What put all this little racket over? Where did all this dough come from?
- Ed 'Mac' McGrath: A lot of yaps.
- Lefty Merrill: Sure. Yaps, suckers, chumps. Anything you want to call 'em. The public. And how do you get 'em? Publicity. Listen, Mac, here's the idea. We take the bankroll over to a publicity agency. Exploitation. Advertising. Ballyhoo. Full of hot air. The greatest force in modern-day civilization. Look what it did for us here.
- Lefty Merrill: Now you're getting smart, Mama. You won't regret this. You stick with me and I'll put a gold spoon right in your kisser.
- Lil Waters: You better come back with that 500 bucks or I'll put my foot right in your - kisser.
- Lefty Merrill: My mouth ain't that big.
- [laughs]
- Lefty Merrill: I need 500 bucks quick.
- Col. H.D.X. Wells: That makes us a duet. I've needed it all my life.
- Lefty Merrill: Mac, you stick with me and I'll put a gold spoon right in your kisser.
- Ed 'Mac' McGrath: It might be safer if I keep on eating with a knife.
- Lefty Merrill: I'll make that gold too.
- Lefty Merrill: Did Ruth tell you I was in town?
- Lil Waters: Yeah. You and the rest of the Depression.
- Lefty Merrill: I'm going to show you something that will swell your heart up to the size of a peanut.
- Lefty Merrill: You got to loan me some dough.
- Col. H.D.X. Wells: Banks don't run merry-go-rounds and I don't loan money.
- Ruth Waters: Now, mother, where's your old Southern hospitality? We can put him up for a couple of days.
- Lefty Merrill: Just until I find a proper location.
- Lil Waters: Sing-Sing!
- Lefty Merrill: A thousand dollars besides, for the use of your hips. They're my lucky charm. From now on, I'm going to use them in every campaign. We'll all slide in on fame and fortune on your hips.
- Ruth Waters: I hope they can stand the wear and tear.
- Lefty Merrill: You're not just helping to sell an advertised commodity. You're making it possible to bring happiness and peace of mind - to the tortured fat people of the universe!
- Lefty Merrill: I've been trying to get your father on the phone all day. Couldn't reach him at the office or at home.
- Marlene Reeves: The old man's rather hard to lay hold of; but, I'm different that way.
- Lil Waters: Up to now, I've never been wrong about anybody. Didn't I always tell you that guy was born to be hung.
- Lil Waters: It's a deal. Relax. It's in the bag.
- [Lefty gives Lil a kiss on the cheek]
- Lil Waters: Oh, you bad boy.
- Ruth Waters: You're a nice boy and a great playmate. But, you stop right there. You don't want a wife, you want a harem!
- Ed 'Mac' McGrath: I didn't think anybody would recognize me.
- Lefty Merrill: I'd know your hide in a tannery.
- Ed 'Mac' McGrath: Yeah, so do the coppers in all the key cities.
- Lefty Merrill: American women will beg, borrow, steal, torture themselves for one thing: a slighter figure. All they want is something new to keep 'em fit. Show it to 'em and they'll buy it if they have to rob the baby's bank.
- Lil Waters: There's only one man for us. A steady, trustworthy, reliable gentleman. Very honest. A man really worthy of us.
- Ruth Waters: Who are you talkin' about? Mr. Hayden?
- Lil Waters: Certainly! Who else? A solid businessman. They don't put him in the can. He just keeps on making his 25,000 a year. There's a man for *us* to fall in love with.
- Lil Waters: We're throwing ourselves away just for spite. We don't love that mug. We love you! What do we want to marry him for? We don't want anything he's got.