Meet the Baron (1933)

Ben Bard: 'Charley'

Quotes 

• Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : [Charley enters Studio A]  Uh, let me perooze that contract. I got to perooze it.

  General Broadcasting Representative : Hello, Charley.

  'Charley' : Yes, Mr. Burns.

  General Broadcasting Representative : Baron, allow me to present our star announcer, Mr. Charles Montague.

  'Charley' : Baron, this is indeed an honor.

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Charley, I assure you, the feeling is monotonous.

• 'Charley' : And now, friends, this station has the great honor to introduce to you, the famous Baron Munchhausen. Baron, the radio world is waiting for news of your recent activities.

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : So?

  'Charley' : What was your last great achievement?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Well, uh... I was, uh... You would like to know?

  'Charley' : Yes, we would.

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : So would I.

  [laughs] 

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : I was, uh... deep-sea diving.

  'Charley' : Deep-sea diving?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Yeah, in water.

  'Charley' : Naturally. What were you diving for?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : I was diving for... sponges.

  'Charley' : Sponges? Then you know all about sponges.

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Do I know about sponges?

  'Charley' : Do you?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : [chuckles]  Sometimes you must meet my relatives!

• The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : But the last time I was diving there, I had a very tough time.

  'Charley' : You encountered difficulties?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : You see, I - I beg your stuff?

  'Charley' : I say, you encountered difficulties?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : [chuckling]  No, no, halibut.

  'Charley' : Halibut?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Yes, but I couldn't go down very far. There was a school of halibut swimming around on the top of the water, so I pushed them aside.

  'Charley' : Oh, Baron, pardon me just a moment, but aren't halibut strictly a bottom fish?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Oh, sure.

  'Charley' : Well then, how could you encounter a school at the top?

  The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : [chuckling]  This was a high school!

  'Charley' : [laughing]  A high school!