Meet the Baron (1933)
Jack Pearl: The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air
Photos
Quotes
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Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : [to Baron Munchausen] We were looking for fruits and nuts.
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : And then we found you!
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The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Did I have dinner tonight?
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : What a question, did you have dinner tonight? You ate 12 courses, not counting the cutlery!
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[first lines]
Baron Munchausen : Uhh...
Julius : Was you there?
Baron Munchausen : No, I wasn't there.
Julius : So I did it!
Baron Munchausen : Shut up!
Julius : By jove, I remember it like it was yesterday.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : Maybe it was yesterday.
Julius : No, let me zee, it was nineteen-hundred-zixteen. He was right up there...
Baron Munchausen : Hear anything, Julius?
Julius : No, Baron Munchhausen.
Baron Munchausen : You, McGoo? Smell any lions?
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : No, Baron.
Julius : And if Joe don't smell no lions, there ain't no lions.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : I'd be very much obliged if you kept my nose out of your affairs.
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Julius : Zo, it was nineteen hundert sixteen, right here in the zame jungle. I was surrounded by 55 tigers...
Baron Munchausen : Will you shut up? I won't have my servants lying!
Julius : Please, Baron, if that's a lie, I hope I never - Wait, you're right; that is a lie.
Baron Munchausen : Of course it is.
Julius : It was nineteen hundert seventeen!
Baron Munchausen : Ohh...
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Baron Munchausen : Julius! Julius! Where is that fool?
Baron Munchausen : [the Baron looks up and sees Julius has climbed a tree] Come down here!
Julius : I'm comin'.
Baron Munchausen : Watch yourself now.
Julius : Don't worry, Baron, I'm all right.
Baron Munchausen : I don't care about you, it's the water! We've only enough to last us 'til we hit the river! Careful!
Baron Munchausen : [Julius accidentally lets a canteen drop to the ground] Ohh! You imbecile! You moron! Do you realize that this is all the water we have left? Enough to last us for just one day? We'll never get out of this alive!
Julius : But Baron, please...
Baron Munchausen : After trying for 10 years to get back to civilization, I had to find you two! How'd you ever get here in the first place?
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : We tried to tell you, but you was always engrossed in matters petite! Julius here wss a pants presser on the boat.
Julius : Yeah, please, "vallet"!
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : So you was a wallet; I was a mess boy, and nobody made a prettier mess on that boat than I did!
Julius : The captain beat us up, so one day, we made up our minds to skip the skipper.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : And we swam to shore! Well, a man has gotta eat, so we started around looking for fruits and nuts.
Julius : And we found you.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : The rest is history!
Baron Munchausen : Give me that water, I'll take care of it! There isn't a chance in a million of our ever reaching the river!
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Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : [during the Baron's homecoming parade] What a reception!
Julius : [worriedly posing as the Baron] A suspicious occasion.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : [Joe says 'pomeranian' as a blunder for 'pandemonium'] Why, 'pomeranian' is breaking loose! And what's your reaction? Negative!
Julius : Joe, I don't like this! Maybe it's better I go back to pants pressing!
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : Why, you vulgarian, we're all set! Tomorrow, you're going to broadcast, and then you lecture at Cuddle College.
Julius : And it's all the Baron's fault - he left us in the jungle to rat.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : Rat?
Julius : No, rot, but don't worry.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : This is no time for remiscing, distribute your bows!
[Julius / "The Baron" and Joe stand up and bow to the crowd]
Julius : [a man in the crowd throws a book at "The Baron"] Big simp! "Bows", he said, not books!
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The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Joe, look!
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : [Joe looks up and sees the back of a cleaning lady in the window] What? The face is familiar, but I can't place the - I got it, the hippopotamus!
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : [Joe and the Baron laugh, until the Baron recognizes the woman] My Aunt Sophie! If she sees me, we're sunk!
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : [Joe tosses the Baron under a pile of confetti, so that his head is buried like an ostrich; Aunt Sophie doesn't see Joe or the Baron] What a family resemblance! It's uncanny!
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Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : [Charley enters Studio A] Uh, let me perooze that contract. I got to perooze it.
General Broadcasting Representative : Hello, Charley.
'Charley' : Yes, Mr. Burns.
General Broadcasting Representative : Baron, allow me to present our star announcer, Mr. Charles Montague.
'Charley' : Baron, this is indeed an honor.
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Charley, I assure you, the feeling is monotonous.
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'Charley' : And now, friends, this station has the great honor to introduce to you, the famous Baron Munchhausen. Baron, the radio world is waiting for news of your recent activities.
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : So?
'Charley' : What was your last great achievement?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Well, uh... I was, uh... You would like to know?
'Charley' : Yes, we would.
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : So would I.
[laughs]
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : I was, uh... deep-sea diving.
'Charley' : Deep-sea diving?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Yeah, in water.
'Charley' : Naturally. What were you diving for?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : I was diving for... sponges.
'Charley' : Sponges? Then you know all about sponges.
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Do I know about sponges?
'Charley' : Do you?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : [chuckles] Sometimes you must meet my relatives!
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The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : But the last time I was diving there, I had a very tough time.
'Charley' : You encountered difficulties?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : You see, I - I beg your stuff?
'Charley' : I say, you encountered difficulties?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : [chuckling] No, no, halibut.
'Charley' : Halibut?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Yes, but I couldn't go down very far. There was a school of halibut swimming around on the top of the water, so I pushed them aside.
'Charley' : Oh, Baron, pardon me just a moment, but aren't halibut strictly a bottom fish?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Oh, sure.
'Charley' : Well then, how could you encounter a school at the top?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : [chuckling] This was a high school!
'Charley' : [laughing] A high school!
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Head Janitor : [inside Baron Munchausen's suite] Gentlemen, where do you want me to put the bags?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Er, put them... put them under the bed.
Head Janitor : Boys, put them under the...
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : Wait a minute! Baron, I smell treachery!
[turns to the head janitor]
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : Or is that you?
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : You want the bags where you can see them, Baron.
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Sure, I want the bags... I want them under my eyes.
Moe : [looks at the Baron's face] But you already got bags under your eyes.
Head Janitor : [pushes Moe down among the baggage] What's the matter with you? Talking that way to the Baron!
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Please, my bags!
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : Ignore it, Baron!
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : I'm insulted!
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : The Baron demands an apology!
Head Janitor : Hey, hatchet-head, did you hear that? The Baron demands an apology!
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : Baron!
Head Janitor : Apologize to the Baron!
Moe : Well, if I said anything to hurt the Baron's feelings, I thank you.
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : It's apologized!
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The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : You lowlife, you! You snake in the bush! And now I'm even insulting the snakes!
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Julius : Now, there'd be nothing. I guess I was just blowing bubbles; but, my bubbles didn't pop!
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Julius : It's finished? I'll go. I'll try to forget you. But, I won't! I'll never look at another bed without thinking of you!
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Julius : It only goes to show, we should have been honest.
Joe McGoo - the Favorite 'Schnozzle' of the Screen : I resent that! We may have been slightly indiscreet, perhaps a bit deceptive. I may even go as far as to say: crooked. But, always honest - as the day is long!
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Head Janitor : Baron, tell me: Did you bring your animals with you?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : No. First, I look around and see if I like the country, then I send for my animals and also my birds.
Curly : Oh, a bird lover, eh? And you know all about them?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Do I know about birds? You give me a bird, any bird, and I tell you where it comes from.
Moe : Oh... We give you a bird, and you can tell us where it comes from?
The Famous Baron Munchausen of the Air : Ya, but give me a good one.
[Moe, Larry, and Curly give the Baron a "bird" in the form of a raspberry]
Head Janitor : [the head janitor knocks Curly's top hat off, and Curly puts a bowler hat on his head] For two pins, I'd knock your head off!
Larry : [Larry holds two pins in his hand] That's very cheap. Here!
