Menu (1933)

Pete Smith: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : [laconically]  Here's a quick way to dice the celery - the object being to do it without cutting off more than three or four fingers.

• Narrator : Hi Ho, the little lady is learning how to stuff a duck. Well, there are various ways to stuff a duck!

• Narrator : Well folks, let's see if we can help this dizzy dame.

• Narrator : Howdy, Chef. This gal has made her husband the Burp of a Nation. Yes, it's a sad case; but, you can cure it. Come on, show her how to cook, will you? Good!

• Narrator : Does he shake a mean nutmeg!

• Narrator : Now, let's take a look at this duck. The Chef doesn't seem enthusiastic about it. Well, he'll show you how to test a bird to see if its young and tender. Phooey! This dame feels like it's been dead since the Civil War. The leg joints are as stiff as a mule's ankle and just about as tender. Toss it away Chef and let's get a good duck.

• Narrator : Now, look at this one. It's nice and plump, which makes it a good duck. It's leg joints are flexible, which makes it a young duck. It's head is off, which makes it a dead duck.

• Narrator : There we are, all sowed up, like a lady after a scrimmage at a bargain sale.

• Narrator : Now, clutching the apple firmly so that it will realize the futility of any resistance, we proceed to reduce it to a state of semi-nudity. This makes the juice ooze right out!

• Narrator : Now, for the finished article. Mmm! Baby! Am I drooling! Surprise, surprise. Okay, Sweetheart.