- Dan Healy: [about Don] That guy could fall down a sewer and come up with a bottle of perfume in both hands!
- Don Jackson: There's more to a magazine than circulation!
- Dan Healy: Yes, and there's more to your blood than circulation, but try to do without it.
- Jean Strange: [Looking at Larry's new office] All this joint needs is a horsehair sofa... and a horsehair sofa.
- Dan Healy: [to Larry] Hey, look, you say this is on the up-and-up? Well, I don't want to spit in no cop's eye. If you're hooked up with this, there's some kind of gazype in it!
- Larry Williams: Boy, this is something! It's colossal!
- Dan Healy: It's better than that. It's positively mediocre!
- Dan Healy: [to Larry] Do me a favor, will you? Go out and find a chiropodist and have your head examined.
- Beauty Shop Manager: [Looking at the photographs of scantily-clad men Jean has given her] Well, look who's fallen among us! Mmmm-mmm!
- Jean Strange: We're using these boys in an idea we're working on, outdoor sports with indoor trimmings.
- Beauty Shop Manager: [Laciviously] As far as I'm concerned... outdoors, indoors, or behind doors!
- Larry Williams: Well, well, well, if it isn't the belle of the big house? You haven't changed a bit, Jean. Still the same swell number.
- Jean Strange: Lay off that number stuff. You'll never make a number out of me again.
- Larry Williams: Still the same quick comeback.
- Jean Strange: Yeah, and the same slick come-on. And speaking of come-on, about that oil deal...
- Larry Williams: Oh, forget it. That's last week's wash.
- Jean Strange: Maybe, but it hasn't been ironed out yet. Why didn't you tell me there was no oil in those oil wells?
- Larry Williams: I didn't know there was no oil in those oil wells.
- Jean Strange: But you knew there were no oil wells.
- Larry Williams: What's the most sought-after thing in the country today?
- Jean Strange: A medium-priced giraffe.