- Colleen Reilly: [Ames has a black eye] What you need is some beefsteak for that eye.
- Donald Ames 3rd: Oh, that's just propaganda put out by the meat packers so they can sell more beef.
- Colleen Reilly: Come on, you're not gonna' tell a Reilly how to cure a black eye.
- Joe Cork: Say, Pop, I got a terrific idea last night.
- Pop Reilly: Yeah, so did I; but, there wasn't a drop in the house.
- Pop Reilly: It's a funny thing, Joe, how you always manage to drop in just when we're startin' to eat.
- Joe Cork: Thanks, pop. I'll have a cup of coffee with you. Might go for a block of wheatcakes, too.
- Colleen Reilly: Sorry, Joe, I didn't have time to make wheatcakes this morning.
- Joe Cork: Oh, that's all right. I'll eat anything you got.
- Colleen Reilly: And that's no idle boast.
- Colleen Reilly: I gotta start for work. I won't have time to do these dishes.
- Pop Reilly: Never mind 'em, Colleen. I'll stack 'em in the sink and they'll be ready to wash when you come home.
- Colleen Reilly: [appreciatively] Thanks, Pa.
- Waiter: [presents a vintage French wine] Chateau Huit, 1923.
- Joe Cork: Now listen, buddy. I'm a guy you can't push around. I pay for the best, so I want the best. Now you take that 1923 stuff back, and bring me this year's model!
- Waiter: As monsieur wishes.
- [makes a long face and takes the bottle away]
- Minnie Hawkins: You sure do things up right. You're a regular man-about-town.
- Joe Cork: "Man-about-town"? Hey listen, honey, you ain't seen nothin' yet. I'm the original boulevardier from the Bronx. Ha ha!
- Cedric Ames: [aboard an ocean liner] Ah, the sparkling salt air. Nothing like an ocean voyage - nothing, nothing!
- Alicia Ames: No, except ptomaine poisoning. I'm never going to Europe again until they build a bridge from New York.
- Cedric Ames: Oh, my poor seasick lady, is there anything I can do? Anything I can do?
- Alicia Ames: Get me a new stomach.
- Minnie Hawkins: Well, smart-aleck, aren't you going to do something? What about "London, Paris, Vienna in the spring..."?
- Joe Cork: Ah, this is bad, this is serious...
- Minnie Hawkins: I didn't have to come here to find that out.
- Joe Cork: [with a pondering expression] I got it! Somethin's gotta' be done. Something brilliant, a stroke of genius!
- Minnie Hawkins: What, for instance?
- Joe Cork: I'll tell ya' after.
- Minnie Hawkins: After what?
- Joe Cork: After I think about it myself.
- Alicia Ames: [after taking a cocktail] Oh, if I get squiffy, Donald, it'll be your Uncle's fault. It's the third time this week he's been late for dinner.
- Mabel: Gee, I wish you were the doctor, Mr. Ames.
- Cedric Ames: You do? Why?
- Mabel: Oh, I don't know. I trust you with my tonsils. I wouldn't be afraid to let you operate on me.
- Cedric Ames: No, no?
- Mabel: And I don't think you'd charge me too much.
- Cedric Ames: No. no.
- Mabel: [leans across the drug store counter] Would you like to operate on me?
- Joe Cork: I really got somethin' this time. Can you imagine a thousand biographies, five hundred bucks a piece, that's a half a million dollars. Two thousands a million dollars. A million dollars invested at four percent, gives me an annual income of $40,000. I'm a millionaire! Ha-ha! Oh, and listen, honey, can you let me have a little change, a quarter or somethin'?
- Colleen Reilly: Okay, millionaire.
- Cedric Ames: What is it? What is it? What is it?
- Miss Hively - Cedric's Secretary: [describing how the new dictaphone works] Oh, yes, Mr. Ames, you see, when you dictate, you speak into the mouthpiece, you press this lever forward, then you press on the handle. The cylinder rotates and then when you finish, you release the handle.
- Minnie Hawkins: Did you girls see any of that book I was readin' this noon?
- Noggin Girl: What's the name of it, Minnie?
- Minnie Hawkins: I don't know. It's had a yellow back with a picture of a girl stabbin' herself on it.
- Noggin Girl: No, I haven't seen it.
- Minnie Hawkins: It was very funny to me.
- Noggin: We just have time for a tour of inspection before lunch.
- Cedric Ames: I enjoy that too and a good game of badminton.
- Noggin: As I was saying, our... process was originated by my grandfather in Switzerland and has been handed down from Noggin to Noggin ever since.
- Cedric Ames: Well, I enjoy that too and a good rhumba, that is, with a nice partner.
- Cedric Ames: Tell me, Mr. Noggin, are the girls scolded if they taste the product?
- Noggin: Certainly not! They're allowed to eat as much as they like.
- Joe Cork: Yeah, we had the same system in the brewery I worked in.
- Noggin: This innovation has resulted in a 21% increase. Our sales charts now show a most gratifying upward curve. A beautiful curve!
- Cedric Ames: [looking a Minnie] Nothing as beautiful as a beautiful curve.
- Minnie Hawkins: I don't like wearing this uniform. I'd like to wear something pretty and individual.
- Cedric Ames: If you don't like making Chewies, what are you choosing to do?
- Minnie Hawkins: I'd like to trim hats. In fact, I like anything to do with clothes. Pretty clothes. I guess I'm just in love with beauty.
- Cedric Ames: In love with beauty! That thrills me! That thrills me!
- Logan: He's become interested in a Minnie Hawkins, a chocolate dipper! A what? Yes, a chocolate dipper! He's also bought Carlo's bankrupt Dress Shop for $100,000 and put the chocolate dipper in charge.
- Donald Ames 3rd: Just what are your approximate assets?
- Colleen Reilly: A few Carlo gowns made from materials largely unpaid for.
- Donald Ames 3rd: And these are liabilities.
- Nurse: Oh, Mrs. Ames, may I get you an ice bag?
- Alicia Ames: I'm a what?
- Nurse: May I get you an ice bag?
- Alicia Ames: No, give it to my silly husband.
- Alicia Ames: Beech!
- Donald Ames 3rd: Oh, I'll get him for you, Auntie. Good-bye.
- Alicia Ames: Bye. Oh, that Beech. Beech! Beech?
- Minnie Hawkins: Mr. Ames, do you know where Uncle Cedric is? I want to see him awful bad.
- Donald Ames 3rd: That's the way he'll be when his wife gets through with him.
- Minnie Hawkins: Oh, Mr. Ames, are you satisfied with my work?
- Donald Ames 3rd: Yes. I think you've done a remarkable job on my Uncle without using a gun.
- Minnie Hawkins: [flutters her eyelashes] Oh, do you mean I'm a bad influence?
- Donald Ames 3rd: Yes. But, evidently, excellent company.
- Minnie Hawkins: Oh, thank you.
- Colleen Reilly: [singing] Every lady's wardrobe always should include, A different gown for every different mood, Oh, how soon the honeymoon can fade away, Without the lure of lovely lingerie, I suppose that every woman knows, The magic and the mystery of clothes...
- Donald Ames 3rd: You design dresses too?
- Colleen Reilly: And hats, in my spare moments.
- Donald Ames 3rd: Oh, if you could only cook.
- Colleen Reilly: I can!
- Colleen Reilly: Oh, that's wonderful, darling.
- Donald Ames 3rd: Well, I'm inclined to let it stay open. I think we should go out and have dinner together - and then come back here and go over the books again.
- Colleen Reilly: If that's an order from the boss, I suppose I have to obey it.
- Donald Ames 3rd: Consider it an order.
- Colleen Reilly: I have considered it, sir.
- Minnie Hawkins: Well, I don't know now. Uncle Cedric may not like it.
- Joe Cork: Listen, honey, I'm Uncle Cedric's right hand. When he can't take you to dinner, well, it's up to me.
- Minnie Hawkins: Well, I don't know now.
- Joe Cork: All right, it's all right. Uncle Cedric's left hand will never know what his right hand is doing.
- Minnie Hawkins: [singing] And its great to feel free, With saucer of tea, With a fella who knows his bananas...
- Minnie Hawkins: [singing] Say, you're swell, Everything that you say, Is correct and okay, So polite and so perfectly proper, That I'm sort of suspicious, Your kiss may be vicious...
- Colleen Reilly: Of course, I think you should become well acquainted with the details of the business.
- Donald Ames 3rd: I'd rather become well acquainted with you.
- Colleen Reilly: It's getting late. I better be going.
- Donald Ames 3rd: I'll see you home.
- Colleen Reilly: Oh, you needn't bother.
- Donald Ames 3rd: Now, don't argue with the boss.
- Alicia Ames: I've given him the best years of my life! Me! The loviest debutante of the McKinley Administration. Mother warned me not to marry him! Oh! Oh! Beech! Be-eech! Beech!
- Butler: What is it Mrs. Ames?
- Alicia Ames: Get my doctor. Get my pill. Get my lawyer. Get my smelling salts! Get Mr. Donald! Get a man to catch me!
- [falls back in Beech's arms]
- Alicia Ames: Beeeeech!
- Minnie Hawkins: It's a marvelous i-dear. Even if it don't work.
- Joe Cork: Ah, now listen, Toots, I told you I loved you, didn't I?
- Minnie Hawkins: Yes, you did.
- Joe Cork: And you believe don't you?
- Minnie Hawkins: Yes, I do.
- Joe Cork: A little work. It's gotta work! You don't expect me to marry a poor girl, do you?
- Minnie Hawkins: Oh, no. I do want to go on doing higher things. Joe, I want to be worthy of ya.
- Donald Ames 3rd: Minnie, you've never been abroad have you?
- Minnie Hawkins: See, here!
- Donald Ames 3rd: I mean, Europe, Paris, London.
- Minnie Hawkins: Ah, London. Nip up to Scotland for the grouse, fly over to Paris for the races, Vienna in the Spring.
- Colleen Reilly: [puts a slab of raw beefsteak on his black eye] How does it feel?
- Donald Ames 3rd: Feels like you got the whole cow on me!
- Donald Ames 3rd: I had four years of college.
- [singing]
- Donald Ames 3rd: But, what good did it do? I could learn so much more, In an evening with you...
- Minnie Hawkins: You're breaking Minnie's heart.
- Cedric Ames: Yes, but, everything's changed. My attitude's changed. My mind's changed. Everything's changed.
- Minnie Hawkins: Aren't you gonna make me your little daughter?
- Cedric Ames: No, my family seems to think that my health is too feeble for me to have a daughter at this time.
- Donald Ames 3rd: In other words, Miss Hawkins, my Uncle has come to his senses.
- Minnie Hawkins: He hasn't any senses to come to! You know that. Uncle, I'm furious.
- Joe Cork: Look at Minnie, here. A bud about to break into beautiful bloom. Now, nipped by the frost of disappointment.
- Mr. Edwards: If you should change your mind, you can reach me at: Bowling Green three, five, seven hundred.
- Colleen Reilly: Paul, I just remembered I have to send a radiogram. I shouldn't; but, I'm going to.
- Paul Gordon: Give him my love, will you?
- Donald Ames 3rd: [to Colleen while she is dancing with Paul] I've been nearly frantic. Called you. Sent you telegrams. Well, I love you.
- Paul Gordon: Who me?
- Colleen Reilly: No, me!
- Donald Ames 3rd: Look, old chap, mind if I cut in.
- Paul Gordon: No, not at all. This is where I get off, anyhow.
- Colleen Reilly: [singing] If you want to win my heart, Don't be too intelligent or smart, Don't go in for literature and art, But, you got to know how to dance. You don't have to have degrees, From a lot of universities, All you need is rhythm in your knees, And you got to know how to dance...
- Donald Ames 3rd: [singing] I know how to croon a tune, Play a trumpet and a big bassoon, I know what to do beneath the moon, I don't have to know how to dance...
- Donald Ames 3rd: [singing] Now, you can dance, And he can dance, Go have your fun, Let everyone swing and sway, Oh, get gay!
- Colleen Reilly: [after a knock on their door] See who it is, pop.
- Pop Reilly: I regret to say I am busy.