Swiss Miss (1938)

Stan Laurel: Stan Laurel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stan : I see a monkey.

  Oliver : A what?

  Stan : A monkey.

  Oliver : Well, it doesn't surprise me a bit! If you don't quit drinking that brandy, you'll be seeing pink elephants.

• Cheese Factory Propietor : Now I've an idea.

  Stan , Oliver : You've an idea?

  Cheese Factory Propietor : I'll buy the whole business for five thousand cool.

  Oliver : Why for you're being so generous, we'll throw in our mule.

  Stan : You can't do that, Ollie, don't be such a fool.

  Oliver : It's my idea!

  Cheese Factory Propietor : It's a splendid idea.

  Oliver : It's just an idea of my own.

  Cheese Factory Propietor , Stan , Oliver : It's just an idea. A splendid idea. It's just an idea of my own.

  [Stan harmonizes in a baritone voice] 

• Oliver : I thought you told me I had her in the palm of my hand.

  Stan : Well you did, but you didn't play your cards right.

• Oliver : Well, this is your idea. Coming all the way from America to Switzerland to sell mousetraps. Whatever gave you that idea?

  Stan : Well, I thought there'd be more mice here than anywhere.

  Oliver : And just why should there be more mice here than anyplace else in the world?

  Stan : Well, don't they make more cheese here?

• Oliver : Do you realize that we've been here for two weeks and haven't sold a single mousetrap? And we're flat broke!

  Stan : We're what?

  Oliver : We are flat broke!

  Stan : Does that mean we haven't any money?

• Oliver : Waiter?

  Waiter : Yes, sir.

  Oliver : Bring me a large slice of apple pie - and a demitasse.

  Waiter : Yes, sir! And you, sir?

  Stan : I'll have - what's that?

  Waiter : What would you have sir?

  Stan : I think I'll try some of that demitasse.

  Waiter : Yes, sir.

  Stan : And, eh, bring me a cup of coffee too.

• Oliver : What's on your mind?

  Stan : What?

  Oliver : What's on your mind?

  Stan : Nothing.

• Oliver : I wonder who that guy thinks I am? Calling me Fatty!

  Stan : Why don't you tell him?

  Oliver : Why for two pins I'd go in and punch that monkey right on the nose.

  Stan : I certainly would.

• Stan : What's the matter?

  Oliver : I don't know.

  Stan : I know.

  Oliver : What?

  Stan : You're in love.

  Oliver : In what?

  Stan : In love! L-U-G-H. Love.

  Oliver : Am I?

  Stan : You certainly are.

  Oliver : How can you tell?

  Stan : It's easy. Look at the silly, sloppy look on your face.

• Stan : You know what you ought to do? If you play your cards right, you've got her right in the palm of your hand.

  Oliver : Tell me some more, Stanley.

  Stan : There's nothing to tell. All you got to do is go and let her know.

  Oliver : But, you don't understand. This is my first love affair - and I don't know how.

  Stan : Say, why don't you do like the gay caviars used to do in the olden days.

  Oliver : The what?

  Stan : The caviars!

  Oliver : Caviars? What did they do?

  Stan : Well, when they were in love, they used to go by the light of the moon, and they used to serenade their lady fair.

  Oliver : But suppose she's in love with someone else?

  Stan : Faint heart, ne'er won, fair lady.

• Oliver : If you love me, Like I love you, I'd love you better, Than Irish stew. Boo-boo-be-doo!

  Anna Albert : Oh, your poetry's so very touching.

  Oliver : Thank you.

  Stan : Yeah, I wrote that, didn't I.

• Oliver : I wonder if you'd give me a - chance to take you to the Alpine Fest tomorrow?

  Anna Albert : The Alpine Fest?

  Stan : Yeah, it's gonna be a big holiday, isn't it?

  Oliver : Yeah! All the countryside gathers here for merrymaking. They'll be gypsy fortune telling, dancing and song.

• Stan : [disguised as gypsies]  Hey, do you think anybody'll recognize us?

  Oliver : Why even your own brother wouldn't know you.

  Stan : Well, I haven't got a brother.

  Oliver : Well, the brother that you haven't got wouldn't even know you.

• Chef : I thought I told you two not to come back here!

  Stan : ["disguised" like gypsies]  Who?

  Chef : You!

  Stan : [to Ollie]  You know what?

  Oliver : What?

  Stan : He thinks we're us. Isn't that silly. We're not us. We're two other fellas. Aren't we?

  Oliver : Why certainly!

• Stan : How could she be your wife when she's in love with him?

  [points to Ollie]