- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [Squeezing between two hypnotized "zombies"] Move over, boys, I'm one of the gang now.
- Samantha, the Maid: What you doing in that lineup?
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: Don't bother me, woman. Can't you see I is a has-been?
- Samantha, the Maid: A zombie?
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: Nothing else but. And don't ask me my name, 'cuz I don't know. I don't know nothing.
- Samantha, the Maid: You ain't no zombie, 'cuz zombies can't talk.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: Can I help it 'cuz I'm loquacious?
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [hearing voodoo drums] It ain't Gene Krupa!
- [famous American drummer of the 1940s]
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [Eating the food set out for the zombies] This being a zombie sure is a drawback. Where's the salt?
- Samantha, the Maid: You eats that the way it is and likes it. Zombies ain't supposed to use salt.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [Samantha brings Jeff the salt] I thought you said!
- Samantha, the Maid: I changed my mind.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [Samantha continues to pour the salt] That's more like it. Take it easy there woman, I ain't no herring!
- Samantha, the Maid: Now eat.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [Samantha keeps pouring the salt] Whew! What is you trying to do? Poison me?
- Bill Summers: [They have just survived a plane crash] Hey! Hey!
- Bill Summers: [Jeff is lying in a shallow hole next to a tombstone that reads "Rest in Peace"] What's the matter with you?
- Jeff: Is that you, Mr. Bill? Did they have you in a hole, too?
- Bill Summers: What are you talking about? What do you mean, "In a hole"?
- Jeff: Ain't we dead?
- Bill Summers: Of course we're not dead.
- Jeff: I thought I was a little off-color to be a ghost.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: If there's one thing that I wouldn't want to be twice, zombies is both of 'em.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [after Dr. Sangre has shown Bill Summers and James McCarthy to their sleeping quarters] Excuse me, Mr. Doctor, but didn't you forget something?
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: I think not.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: What about me?
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: You will be taken care of.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: That's what I'm afraid of.
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: In the servants' quarters. Momba will show you the way.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [scared] Momba? That goblin?
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: He won't hurt you -- if he likes you.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: And if he don't?
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: [shrugs] Well.
- Bill Summers: It'll be all right, Jeff.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: For who?
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: [loud] Momba.
- [Momba walks over to him]
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: [almost a whisper, in German] Dieser Kaffer nach unten.
- [take this oaf downstairs]
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: [scared, trying to make friends with Momba] You ain't by any chance a member of the Mystic Knights of the Pink Garters, is you?
- Bill Summers: It's the same drums we heard the other night. Voodoo drums! Come on, we've got to find him!
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: Oh, Mr. Bill, we found enough for one day!
- Bill Summers: [about to chase off after another eerie happening] Come on!
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: I cain't, my foot done took to root.
- James McCarthy: [flying the plane, talking into radio] Hello? McCarthy calling. McCarthy calling. Hello?
- Bill Summers: Any luck, Mac?
- James McCarthy: Nah, I can't even scare up a news broadcast.
- Bill Summers: Where do you think we are?
- James McCarthy: Search me. We lost the beam hours ago. Probably somewhere between Cuba and Puerto Rico.
- Jeff: Is it that bad?
- James McCarthy: It ain't good.
- Jeff: Uh-oh. I knowed I wasn't cut out to be no blackbird.
- Bill Summers: Try to contact them again, Mac.
- James McCarthy: [into radio] Hello, McCarthy calling. Plane C-1-0-8 calling.
- [hears over radio, "Absicht: ein punkt ein-und-zwanzig."]
- James McCarthy: That's a new lingo to me, I don't understand it.
- Bill Summers: Think we're near a radio station?
- James McCarthy: The way it's coming in, we must be right over their transmitter!
- [as Bill and Mac venture into a strange, foreboding house]
- Jeff: I'm gonna stay right here until I change my mind.
- Dr. Miklos Sangre: Visitors are rare in this house.
- Bill Summers: [making introductions] I'm Bill Summers. This is Mr. McCarthy.
- James McCarthy: Glad to know ya, doc.
- Bill Summers: My valet, Jefferson.
- Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: Jefferson Jackson is my name. You see, I was named after my grand-pappy. He was the president of the Knights of the Pink Garters.