- Col. H. "Bulldog" Kelsoe: [speaking of the Duke of Marlborough] Do you think we could argue with him? Talk him out of it?
- Gen. "Jumbo" Burlap: Talk him out of it? He's a Churchill!
- Col. H. "Bulldog" Kelsoe: [Commenting during the Great War segment] All this modern warfare, and these new submarines and tanks, all boxes of tricks.
- Gen. "Jumbo" Burlap: I never liked gunpowder, all that noise and those bangs.
- Matron: [During the Great War segment 1914 - 1918] Doctor, Captain Dodds has made a remarkable recovery.
- [addressing Capt Dodds]
- Matron: would you like some breakfast ?
- Capt. Dodds: I feel invigorated, we Dodds are a hardy bunch. Yes I'd like beer and bacon for breakfast, none of this tea and toast.
- Doctor: [picking up a bottle that Jumbo Burlap accidentally left behind] Who left this here
- [reading the label]
- Doctor: penicillin, not to be used before June 1943. 1943 ?
- [bottle disappears from Doctor's hand]
- Doctor: I really must see a Doctor.
- Gen. "Jumbo" Burlap: [Trying to impress two female guests during the Victorian segment, with a trick learnt generations before] I have a trick here with two corks and a length of string. Please examine.
- [guests looking suitably bored and walk off to the dance floor]
- Col. H. "Bulldog" Kelsoe: Jumbo when do you learn there's only one good trick with a cork and is taking out of the bottle !
- Gen. "Jumbo" Burlap: SPOILER:
- [Last Lines]
- Gen. "Jumbo" Burlap: I feel rather faint
- Col. H. "Bulldog" Kelsoe: Like a ghost ?
- Gen. "Jumbo" Burlap: [fading and elevating] Going up.