- Laura Cheveley: Do you think it is quite charming of you to be so rude to a woman in your own house?
- Viscount Arthur Goring: In the case of a very fascinating woman, sex is a challenge, not a defense.
- Laura Cheveley: I suppose that is meant as a compliment. Oh my dear Arthur, women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That's the difference between the two sexes.
- Mabel Chiltern: Why do you call Lord Goring a good for nothing?
- The Earl of Caversham: Because he leads such an idle life.
- Mabel Chiltern: How can you say such a thing? Why, he rides in the Row at ten o'clock in the morning, he goes to the Opera three times a week, he changes his clothes at least five times a day, and he dines out every night of the season. You don't call that leading an idle life, do you?
- Mabel Chiltern: What sort of woman is she?
- Viscount Arthur Goring: Oh, a genius by day and a beauty by night.
- Mabel Chiltern: I dislike her already.
- Viscount Arthur Goring: That shows your admirable good taste.
- Mabel Chiltern: But, I love London society. I think it immensely improved. It is now entirely composed of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what society should be!
- Lady Olivia Basildon: A man talked to me about his wife the whole time.
- Margaret Marchmont: How very trivial of him.
- Lady Olivia Basildon: What martyrs we are, dear Margaret.
- Margaret Marchmont: And how well it becomes us, Olivia.
- Laura Cheveley: An acquaintance that begins with a compliment, is sure to develop into a real friendship. It starts in the right manner.
- Sir Robert Chiltern: And what prizes did you get, Mrs. Cheveley?
- Laura Cheveley: My prizes came a little later on in life. I don't think any of them were for good conduct.
- Sir Robert Chiltern: I'm sure they were for something charming.
- Laura Cheveley: I don't know that women are always rewarded for being charming. I think they are usually punished for it.
- Margaret Marchmont: Olivia, I have a curious feeling of absolute faintness. I think I should like some supper, very much. I know I should like some supper.
- Lady Olivia Basildon: I'm positively dying for supper, Margaret.
- Margaret Marchmont: Men are so horribly selfish. They never think of these things.
- Lady Olivia Basildon: Men are grossly material. Grossly material!
- Viscomte de Nanjac: [entering the scene] Countess, may I have the honor of taking you down to supper?
- Lady Olivia Basildon: I never take supper, thank you, Viscomte. But, I will come down with you, with pleasure.
- Viscomte de Nanjac: You are a young girl and more beautiful than ever. How do you manage it?
- Laura Cheveley: By making it a rule only to talk to perfectly charming people like yourself.
- Viscomte de Nanjac: Ha Ha. Ah, you flatter me. You, a, "butter" me, as they say in England.
- Laura Cheveley: Oh, do they say that here? How dreadful of them.
- Laura Cheveley: Money is not what I want.
- Viscount Arthur Goring: What do you want then, Mrs. Cheveley?
- Laura Cheveley: [after a long pause contemplating what she'll say, then smiling seductively] Why don't you call me Laura.
- Viscount Arthur Goring: [sitting next to her] I don't like the name.
- Laura Cheveley: You used to *adore* it.
- Viscount Arthur Goring: Yes... that's why.
- Laura Cheveley: And are you still a bachelor?
- Viscount Arthur Goring: I believe so.
- Laura Cheveley: How very romantic.
- Viscount Arthur Goring: Oh, I'm not at all romantic. I'm not old enough. I leave romance to my seniors.