My Favorite Brunette (1947)

Bob Hope: Ronnie Jackson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Lundau : For the past six months, Miss Montay has been suffering from an acute form of schizophrenia, accompanied by visual aberrations and increasingly severe paranoiac delusions.

  Ronnie Jackson : Mm-HMM! And how is she mentally?

• Ronnie Jackson : [on plane to Washington, narration]  The only thing that bothered me was the altitude. I knew it would get me. I get airsick when I step on a thick carpet.

• Ronnie Jackson : You see, I wanted to be a detective too. It only took brains, courage, and a gun... and I had the gun.

• Ronnie Jackson : Easy, cuddles! One move and you're a dead midget!

• Ronnie Jackson : Nutty as a fruitcake, and with all that beautiful frosting.

• Ronnie Jackson : [Finds a bottle of booze inside a chandelier]  Aha! Ray Milland's been here!

• Ronnie Jackson : Why do women always act like women?

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  Poulet d'or was our next stop. But, we didn't look exactly like Cafe Society. So, I blew the bankroll. A rented tuxedo for myself and an evening gown for Carlotta. Boy, did she stack up! I guess you only get out of a thing what you put into it.

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  An hour later we were at the Poulet d'or. One of those real swanky cafes where they eat mink for breakfast.

• Carlotta Montay : I'm at my wit's end!

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah, I passed there an hour ago.

• Ronnie Jackson : Say, I can be a lot of help to you, Sam. Look, here's my latest invention, right here - a camera with a keyhole lens. Takes pictures right through doors. I've been kicked out of five hotels already. How about it, Sam? Can I go to work for you? Just give me a simple "yes" or "no."

  Sam McCloud : No.

  Ronnie Jackson : Aw, but that's TOO simple!

• Ronnie Jackson : I figure the only way to get the inside dope is from the outside... dope!

• Ronnie Jackson : Beautiful day, isn't it? Well, maybe it isn't so beautiful. It is day, though.

• Ronnie Jackson : Everything you touch turns to rigormortis.

• Ronnie Jackson : You come one step closer and I'll... I'll break this record into a thousand pieces! Oh... wait a minute. Who's side am I on?

• Ronnie Jackson : You may not know this, but I wasn't always a detective. Before they pinned this murder rap on me I had one of the sweetest little set-ups in San Francisco.

  Reporter : A legitimate business?

  Ronnie Jackson : Better than legitimate. It was profitable.

• Carlotta Montay : Are you a man who's afraid of danger?

  Ronnie Jackson : No, you can get as close as you like. Baby, we're in this together. I'm with you till my dying breath.

  Carlotta Montay : Please, you mustn't.

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah. Better not leave any fingerprints.

• Ronnie Jackson : The Governor came through with that stay, huh? I knew he would. He's a very good guy.

  Prison Warden : Sorry, Jackson. No word from the Governor.

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah, well I...

  Prison Warden : Sorry.

  Ronnie Jackson : No? No word? No word, huh? Well, I'll know who to vote for next time!

• Ronnie Jackson : Now wait a minute, don't go feminine on me.

  Carlotta Montay : All right.

  Ronnie Jackson : Don't go masculine either.

• Carlotta Montay : What is it?

  Ronnie Jackson : That's a recording machine. It repeats what you say. You know, for a guy too fat to hold a secretary in his lap.

• Carlotta Montay : Do you know how to work it?

  Ronnie Jackson : Sure. You just speak into this mike and make a record.

  Carlotta Montay : That's it!

  Ronnie Jackson : That's what?

  Carlotta Montay : You work the machine, I'll get them to talk.

  Ronnie Jackson : This is one of the best ideas I ever had. Marvelous what you can do when you think.

• Ronnie Jackson : Uh oh, her schizo's about to phrenia!

• Carlotta Montay : You said you'd stick with me till your dying breath.

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah, and I'm getting too close to it.

• Ronnie Jackson : You can open the mailman later.

• Carlotta Montay : He said he was safe.

  Ronnie Jackson : Oh, he's safe all right... I mean, he's safe all right.

  Carlotta Montay : But he's NOT safe! I KNOW he isn't!

  Ronnie Jackson : No, no... He's in a terrible spot.

  Carlotta Montay : But I feel he's in great danger.

  Ronnie Jackson : Yes, yes, he's in great danger... yeah, but he's safe alright. He's safe. I sound like an umpire.

• Sam McCloud : I told you before, stick to watching the birdie and you'll die of old age.

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah, but I was cut out for this kind of life. All my life I wanted to be a hardboiled detective like Humphrey Bogart or Dick Powell or even Alan Ladd.

• State Trooper : Keep moving! You got a long drive back to town!

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah, well, let me tell YOU something!

  State Trooper : What?

  Ronnie Jackson : I like long drives.

• Ronnie Jackson : [on Death Row]  No catsup? This is the worst last meal I've ever had.

• Ronnie Jackson : That's their racket. They're trying to make people think everybody's crazy.

  State Trooper #2 : Yeah, but with you they had a head start.

  State Trooper : Come on.

  Ronnie Jackson : Wait a minute. You gotta listen to me. You gotta TRUST me, fellas. This is the biggest frame-up since "Whistler's Mother!"

• Ronnie Jackson : Nice, cheerful place. What time they bring the mummies out?

• Willie : Do you care if I feel YOUR muscle, too?

  Ronnie Jackson : No, go ahead. Look around. It's there someplace.

  Willie : Oh, ho, there it is.

  Ronnie Jackson : That's it.

  Willie : [surprised and disappointed]  It's just like a woman's.

• Ronnie Jackson : What kind of a sucker do you take me for? Just because you're a girl and... I'm a boy and you're... throwin' those big blue eyes at me and... you're lettin' me put my arms around you... you lemme hold you close... even closer... you think you can get me to do anything you want.

  [They kiss] 

  Ronnie Jackson : [huskily]  What do you want, baby?

  Carlotta Montay : Darling, the first thing we've got to do...

  Ronnie Jackson : [interrupting]  We're doin' it.

• Ronnie Jackson : An hour later we were at the Poulet d'or - one of those real swanky cafés where they eat mink for breakfast.

• James Collins : No, you stay here, Miss Montay.

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah, you stay here.

  James Collins : These men are killers.

  Ronnie Jackson : Yeah, then I'll stay here, too.

• Ronnie Jackson : Back up, all of ya! I said BACK UP! Okay, then I'LL back up.

• Ronnie Jackson : [soon to be executed]  Remember, I'm doing this without a rehearsal.

• Ronnie Jackson : It always looked so easy in those Tarzan pictures!

• Ronnie Jackson : Nice cheerful place - what time do they bring the mummies out?

• Ronnie Jackson : I don't know how much more of this I can take - you've had me in hot water so long I feel like a tea bag.

• Bell Captain : Hey, boy, give me a hand with these bags!

  Ronnie Jackson : Well, but this ice water, there's a blonde in 14-A who's on fire.

  Bell Captain : Cut the comedy and get these bags!

  Ronnie Jackson : It's an emergency. She's sizzling hot.

• Ronnie Jackson : [holding a gun on Montague]  Hurry up, or I'll fill ya' so full of holes, you'll look like a fat clarinet!

• Ronnie Jackson : When I came to, I was playing post office with the floor. I had a lump on my head the size of my head. Inside, Toscanini was conducting the Anvil Chorus with real blacksmiths.

• Ronnie Jackson : No ketchup? This is the worst last meal I ever had.

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  Well, there I was on my own. A missing husband and a dark-eyed dreamboat up to her gorgeous lips in trouble. What a parley.

• Ronnie Jackson : Thanks, Cuddles.

  Kismet : Very amusing.

• Ronnie Jackson : Lay off of her you phony, you, you all!

  [to Carlotta] 

  Ronnie Jackson : It's a good thing you're here or I'd be brutal.

• Ronnie Jackson : Who is this someone else - and what kind of mineral rights?

  Major Simon Montague : You're getting too inquisitive son - and that ain't healthy.

• Major Simon Montague : Let's stop foolin' around son. I want that map and I want it now.

  Ronnie Jackson : What you want and what you're going to get are two different things. I'm not the givin' kind!

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  I get out by Brownie and I'm all set to snap Exhibit A, when Laughing Boy gets out of his chair and starts for the window. I figure he sees me. But, no, he pulls up the shade right in my kisser - like it was Ladies Night in a Turkish Bath.

• Carlotta Montay : Please say you'll help me. Please. Please, baby. Do it for Mama.

  [kiss] 

  Ronnie Jackson : Mama knows best.

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  This was the end of the ride. The payoff! Ronnie Jackson versus Mint Julep Montague. My brain pitted against his. Yeah. He had the brain and I had the pip.

• Ronnie Jackson : Take those off.

  Carlotta Montay : What?

  Ronnie Jackson : Oh, I mean, put those on.

• Ronnie Jackson : I ain't exactly a cream puff, sister.

• Carlotta Montay : Suppose they haven't got a room near my Uncle's suite?

  Ronnie Jackson : You just toss that smile at 'em, honey, and he'll give us the joint.

• Ronnie Jackson : We got to get outta here. This is the first place those characters will look. I don't want that Cuddles playing mumblety-peg on my throat.

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  When I told Carlotta they'd rubbed out Collins, it was quite a blow. But, the kid bounced back like a rubber ball. I nice soft rubber ball. Too bad I wasn't in the mood to play catch.

• Carlotta Montay : I'm very grateful for all you've done for me. Even if you were Sam McCloud you couldn't have accomplished more.

  Ronnie Jackson : Look, don't red apple me. From now on I'm gonna stick to "Watch the birdie." Leave the chicks alone.

• Ronnie Jackson : Don't you see, that's their racket! They try to make it look like everyone else is crazy!

  Cop : Yeah, but with you, they had a head start!

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  I head my car for the address the doll gave me.

• Miss Rogers : Was it a - woman?

  Ronnie Jackson : It's always a woman. You should have seen this woman. Skin like smooth satin. Beautiful blue eyes. Dark silken hair. The kind of a gal that would make you want to give away your last shirt.

• Ronnie Jackson : You're sure there's nothing I can do for you?

  Sam McCloud : Yeah. You keep your nose clean.

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  Well, I knew where the doll was. My next move is to find her.

• Ronnie Jackson : You know those Dicks downstairs? Tell 'em I'm givin' a little party in 14C. Hurry!

• Ronnie Jackson : [voiceover]  Then, I get a load of the mansion. Boy, what a joint! It must have been something left over from Wuthering Heights. You know, the kind of a house that looks like you could hunt quail in the hallways.