- Ricardo: Chico, I know all about the hotel business. I've studied! Look, I brought my cookbooks and plans to make this the finest hotel in all California. I - hot water in every room. Clean sheets on every bed. And window boxes. Window boxes in every window with pretty flowers.
- Chico: Kissing is the best part of the job, because in California, all the women are beautiful. We got nothing but *beautiful* women.
- Ricardo: Chico, why did they call my father the Kissing Bandit?
- Chico: Oh, every bandit chief got a trademark. After every robbery, your father used to kiss the women - like you're gonna do. That was his trademark.
- Ricardo: You mean he kissed women he didn't even know?
- Chico: Sure.
- Ricardo: Women he wasn't introduced to?
- Chico: Oh, but you're gonna like it.
- Ricardo: Oh, no, I won't. Why, in Boston you don't even kiss women you do know! Not until you're engaged to them. Oh, no!
- Chico: Oh, you look just like your father. If I didn't know it was you, I would think it was him. You were *born* to be a bandit.
- Ricardo: My father, he did own the inn didn't he? He was an innkeeper wasn't he?
- Chico: Didn't you ever hear about him doing something else?
- Ricardo: Well, yes, I heard he had a little sideline. You mean, the little sideline is being a bandit?
- Chico: No, the sideline was being an innkeeper. The *main* thing was being a bandit.
- Ricardo: Oh, my. Oh, me. Son of a Bandit. That's terrible.
- Chico: But, you're not the son of just a bandit. You're the son of the Kissing Bandit!
- Isabella: Jose, ever since the holdup, there's been an expression on Teresa's face. A sort of - secret expression.
- Don Jose: Never mind the expression on her face. Tell me what happened.
- Isabella: I don't know what happened, cause, I wasn't there.
- Don Jose: You weren't there? They were...
- Isabella: They were alone! Now, if you add that to the expression on her face...
- Chico: My life begins tomorrow. It's true there won't be classes or lessons; but, well, there will be new things. Things like - like romance.
- Chico: Aunt Isabella, look. Isn't he wonderful? You know, that's the way a man ought to look.
- Isabella: Teresa, I must speak to you. You've doubtless heard what he does. The Kissing Bandit, to women, I mean.
- Chico: Why, he kisses them.
- Isabella: Yes, well, it mustn't happen to you. Your father would never live down the disgrace. And so you're to stay right here and I will get out.
- Chico: But what good will that do?
- Isabella: Why, he'll kiss me instead. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the honor of our family.
- Teresa: I know you're going to kiss me. And if you think I'm going to be as - as undignified as to struggle with you, you're wrong.
- Don Jose: Now, look, when you were a little girl, you brought all your little troubles to me, remember? Now that you are a big girl, I want you to feel that you can bring all your big troubles to me.
- Teresa: Yes, Father.
- Don Jose: Yes. Well, now, when I was a little boy in Spain, they used to tell a story about flowers and birds and bees. All that sort of thing...
- Ricardo: [singing] If I steal a kiss, dear, I'll surely return it someday, If I steal your dreams, dear, I'll bring them back some way...
- Teresa: [singing] What's wrong with me? Why wouldn't he kiss me? I thought he might, How can I right, What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?
- Ricardo: What's wrong with me? Why didn't I kiss her? I had the chance, For a romance, What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why didn't I kiss her? I didn't try, Why didn't I? What's wrong with me?
- Chico: Little one, I love you like you were my own son. This you know. But if I hear one more word about this girl, I'm finished with you. This I mean!
- Chico: Chico, she doesn't like me.
- Ricardo: She doesn't like you? Who said she didn't like you?
- Chico: She did.
- Ricardo: She did? What does she know about it? Women always say no, as I remember.
- Ricardo: Well, maybe sometimes they mean it.
- Chico: Nah, Ricardo, listen. They always *want* to say yes. But when they are little girls their mothers tell them: "Don't make it easy. Make it tough." So, you gotta make eyes a little, flirt a little, waste a little time. Then they say yes *always*. This I do remember!
- Chico: Do you know what I found in the treasury? Twelve stinkin' pesos - and, believe me, they look homemade.
- Ricardo: It's funny. Because I'm a bandit chief, I was able to win my heroine. And because I'm a bandit chief, I have to give her up.
- Ricardo: [singing] Señorita, I can't bring a golden crown, Set with pearls and rubies rare, But I can bring a rose, And place it in your hair...
- Colonel Gomez: Now I know who you are.
- Chico: [disguised as General Toro] And I know who you are too.
- Colonel Gomez: Ever since you came here, I've been watching you.
- Chico: And I've been watching you too.
- Colonel Gomez: You have?
- Chico: Yes, I have. And if ever I saw a criminal face, you've got it.
- Colonel Gomez: Oh, no.
- Chico: Oh, yes! And if you don't keep out of my sight, I'm gonna remember your crime. Then you'll be sorry.
- Colonel Gomez: But, I didn't do anything.
- Chico: Yes, you did.
- Colonel Gomez: What?
- Chico: You know what?
- Colonel Gomez: No, I don't know. What I did I do?
- Chico: Yes, you do! And if you don't look out, you know what's going to happen to you?
- Colonel Gomez: No, what's going to happen?
- Chico: Oh-oh-oh, you'll find out.
- Colonel Gomez: But, I...
- Chico: Now, get out and don't bother me.
- Colonel Gomez: Yes, sir.
- Teresa: [singing] Spring love comes upon you, When it's gone you feel despair, Soon, though, in the moon glow, You'll find that a new love is there, Love is where you find it...