The West Point Story (1950)

James Cagney: Elwin 'Bix' Bixby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eve Dillon : You heel! Can't even pay a hotel bill! In debt up to your ears, and it's horses! Horses every second you're awake! Horses, horses, horses!

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : [unapologetically]  I don't drink or smoke.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Take 10, sweetheart.

  Eve Dillon : [angrily]  Take 10? I've been "taking 10" ever since I've known you - watching you fight your way to the bottom!

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : [unperturbed]  I don't fight, baby. I'm a lover.

• Tom Fletcher : [after auditioning a song]  How'd you like it, sir?

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Um. Wouldn't hiss and wouldn't cheer.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : I'm a West Point cadet!

  Jan Wilson : You're a what?

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Yeah.

  Jan Wilson : If things are that bad, I'd better unload my government bonds!

• Eve Dillon : Isn't this wonderful? Think of this place, its history, its tradition. Think of all the great men who came from here. General Grant, Eisenhower, Pershing.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Benedict Arnold. He tried hard to give this joint to the British. I think he should have his case reviewed.

  Eve Dillon : Look at that scenery, those buildings.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Alcatraz on the Hudson. And get a load of this weather. Cold enough to freeze the medals off a brass general.

  Eve Dillon : Oh, Bix, stop beefing.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Don't you talk to me about West Point. That is the greatest collection - of big-headed, salute-happy, station-house characters in any man's army. I took it for four years from those muzzlers from Camp Dix to the Rhine. And all the way, nothing but trouble! And how do they get that way? They have a special factory up there for putting square heads into brass hats.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : [imitating a West Point upperclassman witnessed dressing down a plebe]  Pop up that chest! Touch my hand!

  [Eve slaps it away] 

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : You don't have to break it off.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Oh, now, sit down Sit down, sweetheart. You're over-heated.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : No women in the show?

  Lieutenant Colonel Martin : This isn't Broadway, Mr. Bixby. This is West Point.

  Tom Fletcher : You see, sir, all our girls are men. But every ones a lady.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : That makes it cozy.

• Eve Dillon : Why not use a real girl? A local. A daughter of one of the officers, maybe, to play the part?

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : There are to be no females in this show.

  Eve Dillon : One woman couldn't hurt.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : That's what Adam said, Eve.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Look son, don't give it everything you have in the first eight bars. Don't belt it at them, like this: You've been kissed, I know-ow-Ow. No, it's no good. Singing a song is like - oh, like a horse race. You don't ride a horse from wire to wire, you rate him. Now, rule one - rule one: like your audience. They're all nice people. They bought tickets, they've come to hear your story. Tell it to them simply, sweetly, warmly. You like them and they like you.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : I've heard a great deal about the discipline in this joint. You're supposed to be famous for it. Well, I haven't seen a sign of it in connection with this show. There's more discipline in a broken-down burlesque troupe than you have up here with all your salutes, your "Yes, sir's", your "No, sir,'s", your fancy uniforms and parades.

• Eve Dillon : I accepted their invitation for you to become a cadet.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : You what?

  Eve Dillon : You heard me.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : And I just accepted an invitation for you to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Now, who goes first?

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : [after punching out "Princess" after he made a cat-call whistle at Bix]  See what I mean. Discipline!

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : A twelve o'clock boy in a nine o'clock town. That's me.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Wouldn't you rather make love to her than Bully Boy Gilbert?

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : There's another thing I don't like about this place. Too much buttoning and unbuttoning.

• Tom Fletcher : Now, the definition of leather, they'll be sure to ask you that one. And put some soul in it.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : The definition of leather - and put some soul into it, right. If - the fresh skin of an animal, cleaned and divested of all hair, fat, and other extraneous matter, be immersed in a dilute solution of tannic acid, a chemical compound ensues. The gelatinous tissue of the skin is converted into a non-putrescible substance impervious to and insoluble in water. This, sir, is leather.

• Tom Fletcher : What do plebes rank?

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : The plebes rank, the commandant's dog, the superintendent's cat, the hellcats and all the admirals in the cockeyed Navy.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Didn't we say that this was time for a little giving?

• Jan Wilson : Do you think I can swing it?

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : With what you have to swing? Oh-oh-oh-oh! Start swinging.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : When he starts selling, baby, you start buying.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : There's gold in them thar tonsils.

• Tom Fletcher : Mr. Bixby, we've got trouble.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : My girl is walking out on me and you've got trouble.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : [singing]  It could only happen in Brooklyn, On a street called Avenue D, If you've never been there, You'll tell me it can't, You'll tell me it's fan-tasy, But this happened to me, I was walking down to the subway Yeah, I travel by BMT, When I bumped, Right into a fabulous wench, From some other cent--ury, Yes, this happened to me, What a lucky break, That she was going my way, 'Cause we strolled down King's Highway, She murmured: C'est L'amour, And I asked her: "Are you sure?" It could only happen in Brooklyn, When a he meets up with a she...

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Me? I'm from

  [singing] 

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : B-postrophe, K-no-postrophe, L-Y-N, They know my shield, From Ebbets Field to Cheyenne, You can keep those other places, Just give me that oasis, Where it's "erl," not "oil", And a girl's a "goil"...

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Where is Eve? I spend half my life waiting for that dame.

• Bull Gilbert : Do I have to curtsy? My girl's out there. My father and mother are out there too. I'll never live this down. Couldn't I just bow?

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : And destroy the whole illusion? Come on, chin up, Princess, and - suck up that royal gut.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : I didn't know you spoke French.

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : Picked it up from a chick at the Folies Bergère.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : [singing]  It matters not, What stuff you've been readin', B'klyn is the U.S.A.'s Garden of Eden...

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : You, sweetheart, hold the fort - and I'll bring you a Frenchman.

• Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : [last lines - singing]  And now that it's over, I'll sure miss the going to classes. Miss you cadets, yes, the brasses. So take my thanks to all the ranks, with love and kisses.

  West Point Chorus , Elwin 'Bix' Bixby , Eve Dillon , Jan Wilson , Tom Fletcher , Bull Gilbert , Hal Courtland : This is the finale, The End.

• West Point Chorus : [singing]  The Manhattanites don't want us, Heap abuse upon us

  Elwin 'Bix' Bixby : They will gladly yell we are not Chanel, But Chanel don't smell quite like the Gowanus...