- Capt. William Kidd: I hate fat men!
- Capt. Bonney: But you're a fat man.
- Capt. William Kidd: I hate myself too!
- Pub Owner: Are you stupid?
- Captain 'Puddin' head' Feathergill: No.
- Pub Owner: A nincompoop?
- [Puddin' shakes his head 'no.']
- Pub Owner: Moronic?
- [He again shakes his head]
- Pub Owner: Idiotic?
- [He again shakes his head and smiles]
- Pub Owner: Imbecilic?
- [Puddin' snickers]
- Pub Owner: What are you laughing at?
- Captain 'Puddin' head' Feathergill: You went right by me and didn't even know it.
- Captain 'Puddin' head' Feathergill: [after serving Kidd some soup] Is it good, sir?
- Capt. William Kidd: It's just like Mother used to make. It stinks!
- Capt. Bonney: [Romantically sighing] Oh, Puddin'!
- Captain 'Puddin' head' Feathergill: Call me by my last name - "Head!"
- Pub Owner: [as Puddin' and Rocky are entering the tavern] Wait a minute! The front doors are for gentlemen! The back door's for swine!
- Captain 'Puddin' head' Feathergill: I'm no pig!
- [Rocky shoves him toward the back door]
- Captain 'Puddin' head' Feathergill: [In hole holding skull] Alas, poor Yorick, I knew well, a fellow of infinite...
- Capt. William Kidd: That's the wrong play. Now, dig.
- Capt. William Kidd: See if the barometer has fallen.
- Captain 'Puddin' head' Feathergill: It's still hanging on the wall.