Calamity Jane (1953)

Doris Day: Calamity Jane

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [the singer is a man in drag] 

  Wild Bill Hickok : She ain't very good lookin'

  Calamity Jane : That ain't all she ain't.

• Calamity Jane : Look at these! Silk, pure silk! I'll bet her mother spun 'em!

• Calamity Jane : [singing]  At last my heart's an open door / And my secret love's no secret any more.

• Calamity Jane : Excitement? Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine has got stickers!

• Calamity Jane : I got a strange feelin' somebody's bein' hustled.

• Calamity Jane : Make mine sarsparilly!

• [Bill is dressed as an Indian woman with a baby] 

  Calamity Jane : Gosh almighty, it's Bill Hickok!

  [proceeds to laugh along with everyone else] 

  Wild Bill Hickok : [hands baby over]  Here take him.

  [stands up] 

  Wild Bill Hickok : The next man that laughs is gonna get his head ventilated.

  [silence and Bill sits down. Calamity laughs again after a few moments] 

• Calamity Jane : That's better. Next time I tell a story, keep your hands in your *pockets* you toothless old buffalo!

• Calamity Jane : This town ain't big enough! Not for me and that frilled-up, flirtin', man-rustlin' petticoat, it ain't!

• Calamity Jane : Whip, crack, away!

• Calamity Jane : [while in Chicago, sees a store window with wigs on display]  Scalps!

• Wild Bill Hickok : [finds a gun hidden in Calamity's wedding dress]  What's this fer?

  Calamity Jane : Awww... just in case any more actresses come in from Chicagy!

• Calamity Jane : [singing]  Hi Joe / say where'd you get them fancy clothes? / I know / off some fella's laundry line. / Hi Bow / aren't you the prairie rose / Smell like a watermelon vine.

• Calamity Jane : Enjoy the show!