Sex Kittens Go to College (1960)

Pamela Mason: Dr. Myrtle Carter

Quotes 

• George Barton : Now, Dr. West, if you'll just stand right over here, we'll get a picture. Smile pretty please.

  Miss Amanda Cadwallader : Young man, I'll thank you to take your predatory paws off my arm.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : You are Dr. West, aren't you?

  Miss Amanda Cadwallader : My name is Cadwallader, Miss Amanda Cadwallader, and I'm traveling representative for the Paddy Pad Brassiere for the larger figure. And you, madam, could certainly use our product.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : It can't be true. Thirteen university degrees never looked like this!

  Dr. Mathilda West - aka Tassels Monclair : Just because the package is different, doesn't indicate the product's change.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : We wanted a teacher who could lead our students into the space age.

  Dr. Mathilda West - aka Tassels Monclair : That's no problem, madam. When I blast off, I've got an escape velocity which gets me to my aphelion point practically instantaneously!

• Dr. Mathilda West - aka Tassels Monclair : Nothing is impossible in this day and age. Especially me. In fact, I'm one of the most possible people you'll ever meet.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : But, Dr. West is a genius!

  Dr. Mathilda West - aka Tassels Monclair : Just in somethings.

  George Barton : And you're a - blonde!

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : Now, see what you've done!

  Dr. Mathilda West - aka Tassels Monclair : Done? I haven't even begun.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : One glance at that wiggle and no Foundation in the world would give us money for research.

  George Barton : Still, she is a rather nice girl. In a way.

  Dr. Ernest Zorch : And what a way!

• George Barton : Doctor of Philosophy, Psychiatry, Palentology.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : Oh, no one's questioning her academic background, it's just her - her...

  George Barton : Her popular front.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : This is no joking matter. We have our research contract with the MacPherson Foundation coming up for renewal. What would Admiral MacPherson say if he found the head of our Science Department with a smart-talking blonde?

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : I can't understand Thinko making an error like this.

  George Barton : You can't blame Thinko. How could a machine know we wouldn't like someone who looks like - Mamie Van Doren. Maybe he's getting adolescent? How many tubes did he blow today, Zorch?

  Dr. Ernest Zorch : Two and a gasket.

  George Barton : You see, puberty's setting in.

• Dr. Ernest Zorch : With top ranked science teachers so hard to get these days, I think we're very lucky. So many have gone into pure research.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : Come now, Zorch. You know perfectly well she's not the kind of person who should teach. Let her go into research! I suggest the Kennedy Foundation.

• Dr. Ernest Zorch : There's no one in the world that has the fine attributes of Dr. West!

  George Barton : That's our problem: her attributes. If only she didn't have quite so much of them.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : Be honest, George. You know perfectly well that Admiral MacPherson wouldn't want us to keep her.

  George Barton : You're absolutely right, Myrtle. The old boy will probably want to keep her himself.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : You understand, at the first opportunity, titter.

  Suzanne : Yes, Madame, a low-down titter. I titter very well.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : If there is no opportunity, create one.

  Suzanne : I always do, Madame.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : Have you seen Mr. Barton?

  Suzanne : Ah, it is George. He's cheating on you, no? That is why you want the disguise.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : Certainly not! I'll have you know that George is as faithful as the day is long.

  Suzanne : Don't be too confident, darling. With winter coming, the days get shorter, every day.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : Don't argue with me, Suzanne. Take off that costume and let me put it on.

  Suzanne : But, Dr. Carter, if the boss finds out I lend you that, he can me.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : Oh, don't talk like a marinated herring!

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : Now, where can we change? The Ladies Room?

  Suzanne : No. The maid would see. She is one great Tale-tattle.

• Boomie : You shouldn't drink that stuff. You should know that at your age.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : Oh, what's my age got to do with it. I'm blind! I tell you, I'm blind.

  Boomie : Well, at least you're being honest about it. That's a step in the right direction. Did you ever hear of AA lady? It did wonders for mother.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : He's some kind of a sex maniac!

  Policeman : Well, I don't doubt you lead him on, brazen hussy that you are. Look at you in those blue tights and all. It's disgusting! Not even a corset cover.

  Dr. Myrtle Carter : Look here, my good man.

  Policeman : I'm not your good man! And don't go tryin' any of your tricks on me.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : What one woman can do, another woman can do also.

• Dr. Myrtle Carter : Oh, George, its one of the oldest adjectives of war: if you can't lick 'em, join 'em! From this day onward, I'm a blonde.