- Rumbelow: You're paying 75 guineas a week, so we'll put you in hut number 29.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Hut?
- Rumbelow: We'll start you off with parsnip pulp and carrot juice before gradually working you up to grass salads.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: [after entering his hut] But there's no wall.
- Richards, Male Nurse: There are shutters, sir.
- [Thomas tries to close them because of the freezing gale]
- Richards, Male Nurse: Only at night, sir.
- Rumbelow: You hate women.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Well, I hate getting up in the morning but I'm not bedridden.
- Rumbelow: Don't look so alarmed, Mr. Rynde. We've had worse cases and pulled 'em through. We are going to take your poor abused body and wring it out and start all over again.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: You're not, you know.
- Rumbelow: Mr. Rynde...
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Captain, and I like my body the way it is.
- Rumbelow: Put out your tongue.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Huh?
- Rumbelow: Tongue... oooh, nasty! Eyes? Tch, tch, tch. Good heavens, I don't know how you can see out of them.
- Frances Roitman - Clifford's Secretary: I don't think he quite knows what he's got himself in for.
- Green Glades Barman: They never do, miss.
- Det. Insp. Hook: Used to call this the gallows oak, you know.? Used it for hangings.
- Frances Roitman - Clifford's Secretary: Uh, no, I didn't know.
- Det. Insp. Hook: Yeah, good old days.
- Rumbelow: Mr. Rynde, I'm asking the questions. Are you single by choice?
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Oh, indubitably. My profession has somewhat prejudiced me against wedding bells.
- Rumbelow: [as he writes on the form] A misogynistic ornithologist.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Whaaat?"
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: [On seeing hotel guests lounging in bath robes and night clothes when checking in] Very informal atmosphere you have here.
- Johnson - Green Glades Desk Clerk: Oh, we don't stand on ceremony here.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: [When Rumbelow twists his head] Ahh!
- Rumbelow: You got as much stiffness as rigor mortis. You've come to us just in time, Mr. Rynde. We are the handmaidens of mother nature. We'll soon have you in working order. I'll put you down for the lot, I think.
- Rita - Green Glades Nurse: [to Rynde] Listen, you take one step nearer and I'll do gardening in that gap of yours.
- Rumbelow: I've got you down on my form as a misogynist.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: [Mumbling] What is that?
- Rumbelow: You hate women.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Well, I hate getting up in the morning, but I'm not bed-ridden.
- Frances Roitman - Clifford's Secretary: [When J. Barker Rynde sips the same drink as hers that he ordered from the bartender] Were you expecting something a little more palatable?
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Why, yes. Why, I mean ..
- Frances Roitman - Clifford's Secretary: It's awful, isn't it? I'm afraid this is one health clinic that doesn't pull its punches.
- Rumbelow: Married?
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: No.
- Rumbelow: Why not?
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Did you marry?
- Rumbelow: No.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Why not?
- Rumbelow: Your age.
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: My age?
- Rumbelow: Oh, come on. We're not going to be feminine about this, are we?
- J. Barker-Rynde, PI: Oh, well, bound down 32.
- Rumbelow: Well, that disposes of your age, or some of it.