- 'I'm Gonna Walk All Over This Land' Performer: [singing] I'm gonna walk - all over this land, I'm gonna walk - yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna walk - all over this land, I'm gonna walk - well don't you know, I'm gonna walk - all over this land, I'm gonna walk - all over this land, I'm gonna walk from the seas to the burnin' sands, I'm gonna walk all over - this land.
- Sandy Palmer: No.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: No what?
- Sandy Palmer: No anything. I told you I can't see you again this week. Now, if you want a playmate for your awkward age, Ding Pruitt, I'm sure there are dozens of girls who'd be more than happy to fill the job.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Get out the filly file.
- Kelp: Entsy-Mentsy-Minsty-Mosy. Annbelle Mosie. Slow breaking curves. Hobby: Judo.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Next.
- Kelp: Olive Oleson. This olive only for martinis.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Keep going.
- Kelp: Sandy Palmer. Needs hard sell. Keep trying.
- Sandy Palmer: You're so touchy about me coming to see you.
- Woody Woodbury: You can, baby, anytime - at the apartment.
- Sandy Palmer: I'm nineteen and according to the laws of California, I can drive, get married, I could even have a baby!
- Woody Woodbury: Don't you dare have a baby without a diploma!
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Here? Sandy, this is the Silver Palms and that is not Betsy Ross.
- Sandy Palmer: I don't care if it's not Lady Godiva. Let's go.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: How about Ding-a-Ling's hideaway? There are no Uncles there.
- Sandy Palmer: Your fabulous apartment? I've heard a lot about it. Soft lights. Music to suffer by.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Silver, fizzy, moonlight on the terrace.
- Sandy Palmer: Two sleepy people, alone on a cloud. - Take me home.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Right.
- Sandy Palmer: *My* home.
- Topaz McQueen: Sid, he's a riot! What sign is he born under?
- Sid Hoyt: The Lucky Strike sign on 42nd Street.
- Woody Woodbury: This cute little coed was on this cruise. She's out two days and finally walks up to this sailor. She says, "I want to speak to the Captain." So, the sailor said, "Well, he's forward." She says, "That's all right. It's a pleasure cruise."
- Woody Woodbury: Surf's up!
- Crowd: Surf's up!
- Woody Woodbury: It ain't what you drink, it's the way that you drink it!
- Karen Cross: [sitting side-by-side, in a meditation pose] Are you sure this is the way they make love in India?
- Kelp: Mmm-hmm. Concentrate. It's mind over matter. We're searching. Groping.
- Karen Cross: Searching. Groping?
- Kelp: Our essences are - merging.
- Karen Cross: Merging.
- Kelp: I have you in my arms. Holding you close. My lips are seeking yours. We kiss. Mmm.
- Karen Cross: Mmm-hmm. Mmm.
- Kelp: Mmm.
- Karen Cross: You beast! You beast!
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Will you cool it, Sandy. There's nothing between me and that girl except the bathing suit.
- Sandy Palmer: My business is getting an education.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Well, hon, isn't this part of getting an education?
- Sandy Palmer: Not the kind you've got in mind! Look, Ding, a couple of really swell people are making a lot of sacrifices to keep me in college. I'm after a Bachelor of Arts, not a Bachelor of Bikinis.
- Burford Sanford Cronin: Don't tell me it's not serious. Laura, your son has been going out with this Palmer girl eight days a week!
- Laura Pruitt: Oh, father, if I should have to get in touch with you, which car shall I call?
- Burford Sanford Cronin: Car 54.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Tell me, you do feel something for me, don't you?
- Sandy Palmer: Yes, I do. I'm not immune. I've caught the Pruitt infection.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Then why don't we run a temperature together?
- Sandy Palmer: We can't Ding. You don't have it. You're just a carrier.
- Sid Hoyt: Honey, baby. Topaz, sweetie. The days of the smoker are over. We are now catering to the poor little lambs who have lost their way. Baa! Baa! Baa, honey. Easy on the Taurus and heavy on the Virgo.
- Woody Woodbury: People like to take a drink. As we always talk about. It's no sin. These two fellas were havin' a drink and one turned to the other and said, "My doctor cut me to one drink a day and this little beauty here is for December the 26th 1988!"
- Dr. Pauline Swenson: What about that dancer?
- Woody Woodbury: Topaz?
- Dr. Pauline Swenson: Yes! What's going on in that dressing room, right now? Even when you're closed, she stays open.
- Dr. Pauline Swenson: Mr. Woodbury, there's one more thing that I just have to know.
- Woody Woodbury: [singing] Sid and Max and little me, Slept on the balcony. Now, won't you share a steak with me?
- Dr. Pauline Swenson: Love to, Mr. Wood-bur-y.
- Sandy Palmer: I'm not too nice for Ding. I think the trouble is, he doesn't know how nice he is.
- Karen Cross: Getting in pretty deep, aren't you?
- Sandy Palmer: Just treading water. I'll make my move when I'm ready.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: You know your cue?
- Clyde: "Darling, I can't get over how radishing you are."
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Ravishing!
- Clyde: I said radishing.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Okay. Then, you come in and do the sister bit and you blow. Right?
- Clyde: Right.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Phone before you come back.
- Clyde: I phone.
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Honestly, darling, I can't get over how ravishing you are.
- Sandy Palmer: Flattery will get you - anywhere.
- Sandy Palmer: [kisses Ding] I've wanted this, Ding. I was afraid of it; but, I wanted it so badly. You and I, being here alone together.
- Sue Lewis: [on the phone] If you ever do want me, be sure and ask for Sue Lewis! Because there are three Sues here and one's a real Indian!
- Gardner 'Ding' Pruitt III: Candid Camera Cronin - he's had me watched, followed and photographed ever since I've been in college.
- Kelp: Aw, do you really feel like that?
- Karen Cross: Absolument.
- Kelp: Well, let's go somewhere where we can get away from each other.
- Woody Woodbury: The only way you can help any of us is to just go through with what you started. Now, you go on home and phone that hot dog of yours and blow him a kiss good night.
- Sid Hoyt: Hey, Woody, look! Hey, hey, get up. Look at this!
- Woody Woodbury: What now? Gloria Swanson and the bathing beauties?
- Sid Hoyt: That ain't Gloria Swanson. That's Cronin!