John McMartin: The Mayor
Quotes
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Aide : Mister Mayor, eighty-two percent not only stop brooding, they stop smoking. Ninety-three percent stop drinking.
The Mayor : What's wrong with that?
Aide : In terms of dollars and cents, it's disastrous. Our city is facing a drastic loss in income from sales tax.
The Mayor : That's ridiculous. Forty-seven people? A drop in the bucket.
Aide : But if this goes unchecked for a month, by mathematical progression, half of New York will have the virus. You know what that means? It means a loss in cigarette and liquor taxes more than one hundred and eighty million dollars.
The Mayor : [voice hoarse] A hundred and eighty million... Brady, what are you sitting there for? Get that bird!
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Dr. Shapiro : What this particular virus evidentally does is cause changes in our behavior patterns. People infected become euphoric, have a sense of well-being.
The Mayor : Well, I'm not going to order the Police Commissioner to call out twenty-eight thousand cops to find some bird that makes people feel good.
Dr. Shapiro : But we have no way of knowing what it may lead to. People could feel so good they'd quit their jobs, fly kites in Times Square, block traffic, uh... stop voting...
The Mayor : Stop voting!
[picks up the phone]
The Mayor : Get me the Police Commissioner.
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Park Commissioner Williams : Gentlemen, as you all know, we desperately need more parks in Lower Manhattan. Well, I've finally come upon the perfect solution. We tear down the New York Stock Exchange and the Treasury Building across the street, and use that space for a beautiful playground. We can condemn that property for very little. It'll cost the city less than $6 million an acre.
The Mayor : We'll continue this discussion in the fallout shelter.
Park Commissioner Williams : There'll be plenty of room for the kiddies to play baseball and football and hopscotch, jacks. There'll be jungle gyms and slides and swings, see-saws, chess boards for the senior citizens... .
