The Love Bug (1969)

Michele Lee: Carole Bennett

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Carole Bennett : Help! I'm a prisoner! I can't get out!

  Van Hippy : We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.

  [Van Hippy looks over at his hippy partner, as Carole hits the window, with both palms] 

  Van Hippy : Huh, a couple of weirdos, Guenivere.

• Jim Douglas : What do you know? Engine stalled.

  Carole Bennett : [tries to get out]  How about that? Door's stuck. That's how it is with cars sometimes. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens next.

  Jim Douglas : Well, as someone very wisely once said, "That's how it is with cars sometimes."

  Carole Bennett : I just said that.

  Jim Douglas : Oh.

• Carole Bennett : I wonder if your reputation is altogether true.

  Jim Douglas : What's my reputation?

  Carole Bennett : Well, I've heard that Jim Douglas is only interested in fast cars and easy money.

  Jim Douglas : Not true.

  Carole Bennett : Oh.

  Jim Douglas : Mm-hmm. You know something else?

  Carole Bennett : What?

  Jim Douglas : When the light hits you just right, you're as beautiful as General Grant on a fifty-dollar bill.

  [kiss] 

• [Jim brings the malfunctioning Herbie back to Thorndyke. It accidentally bangs against Thorndyke's Rolls Royce and stops. Jim gets out] 

  Peter Thorndyke : Have you gone mad?

  Jim Douglas : Okay, what's the joke?

  Peter Thorndyke : What do you mean?

  Jim Douglas : I don't know how you rigged it, but I'm sure that car is a real cut-up when a convention comes to town.

  Peter Thorndyke : What in the name of...

  Jim Douglas : If I'd wanted a trick car, I would have bought one at a joke shop.

  Peter Thorndyke : [as Carole joins him]  Allow me to say that I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. You come billowing up in that beastly little car, and assault my personal Rolls Royce.

  Jim Douglas : ...I brought it back! I want my money, I want the papers I signed, and then I'll get outta here, and you two clowns can... can have your little laugh.

  Carole Bennett : Mr. Douglas, if there is anything wrong with the car, would you be good enough to tell me what it is?

  Jim Douglas : Well, there's nothing essentially wrong with the car. It's just that it wants to go one way and I'd like to go the other.

  Peter Thorndyke : Well, whatever it is, none of it is covered in our gilt-headed guarantee.

  Jim Douglas : Oh, I'm sure of that.

• Carole Bennett : [Herbie is acting up]  Will you stop the car, please?

  Jim Douglas : I'm trying! Look!

  [he tries to take the key out and press the brakes] 

  Jim Douglas : It's just like I told you! This thing is starting to act up again.

  Carole Bennett : How very odd; when I was driving, there was no problem whatsoever.

• Carole Bennett : Have you had much experience with cars?

  Jim Douglas : Look, lady, by profession, I'm a racing driver.

  Carole Bennett : Oh, *that* Jim Douglas.

  Jim Douglas : What do you mean, "*that* Jim Douglas"?

  Carole Bennett : Let's see, two years ago, at Laguna Seca, you spun out and hung a beautiful Buick Special on the back fence. At Willow Springs, was it a year ago... last February, you sprayed a Lotus all over the infield.

  Jim Douglas : How do you know all that?

  Carole Bennett : I have trouble with names and faces, but I never forget a car.

• Carole Bennett : You aren't winning any of those races! You couldn't win a game of marbles against a 12-toed myopic rhinoceros!

• Carole Bennett : Mr. Douglas needs a car, and for a very low amount down and the usual monthly payments, the car will become his.

  Peter Thorndyke : Very well, even though my personal inclination is to have Mr. Douglas clapped into jail and this four-wheeled contrivance dropped into the Bay!

• Carole Bennett : Excuse me, Mr. Thorndyke, but if I sold this gentleman the car, I feel a certain responsibility.

  [to Jim] 

  Carole Bennett : Do you mind if I try it?

  [Jim nods and motions her to go ahead; they go over to the VW Bug] 

  Peter Thorndyke : [shocked]  Miss Bennett! Our dinner engagement!

  Carole Bennett : [getting in]  I won't be a minute.

• Peter Thorndyke : That rotten car is driving me piffy!

  Carole Bennett : Has it occurred to you it may not be the rotten car? Perhaps it's the way Mr Douglas drives.

  Peter Thorndyke : Balderdash!

• Carole Bennett : You let that little car get under your skin, didn't you?

  Jim Douglas : I don't know. There's a lot of gloop been written about, uh, the bond between a man and his automobile - and how he hates it sometimes, mostly how he loves it. He showers gifts on it in the way of accessories and all that. He gets hysterical if somebody scratches the paint or - makes it lose face on the freeway. Maybe some of those feelings got into the machinery.

• Carole Bennett : Headache gone?

  Peter Thorndyke : All gone. Anticipation of victory is the purest form of aspirin. This is my day.

• Carole Bennett : You want me to tell you something, my windbag friend? I admit, I didn't believe it when Tennessee told me before, but now I see it makes all kinds of sense.

  Jim Douglas : W-W-What?

  Carole Bennett : That thimble head of yours has gotten all swelled up.

• Tennessee Steinmetz : You don't believe a word I said about this little car, do ya?

  Carole Bennett : Well, there's always a first time. I imagine Adam thought woman was a pretty funny piece of equipment when he met Eve.

• Carole Bennett : [on telephone with Jim Douglas]  Yes, good afternoon? Oh, I think that should be quite all right. Uh, 7:30 will be fine. Yes, bye.

  [hangs up] 

  Carole Bennett : I think I'll...

  Peter Thorndyke : I'd like you to see this Douglas. get to know him. Who knows? If he has the talents of which I believe him capable, perhaps we can give him the opportunity... of joining our organization, racing under our colours. But first we must know something about him.

  Carole Bennett : How about tonight?

  Peter Thorndyke : Very good.

  Carole Bennett : At 7:30?

  Peter Thorndyke : Very good! Why waste time? Oh and Carole, leave your car. Take the special. He likes that one.

  Carole Bennett : Uh, thank you... I think I ought to tell you that was Mr. Douglas who just called.

  Peter Thorndyke : Excellent. Strike while the iron is hot.

  Carole Bennett : In all honesty I should like to point out that I agreed to have dinner with him, before you suggested it.

  Peter Thorndyke : I salute your honesty, my dear. A quality not necessarily to be despised.

  Carole Bennett : Thank you.

  [exits with a look of suspicion] 

  Peter Thorndyke : A very loyal girl...

• Jim Douglas : I think Mr. Thorndyke is a little mixed up about who or what won that race.

  Peter Thorndyke : And what does that mean?

  Jim Douglas : Some day I'll teach you not to confuse the car with the driver.

  Peter Thorndyke : I should welcome the opportunity.

  Carole Bennett : Mr. Thorndyke, I think that's a very good idea of yours.

  Peter Thorndyke : What is?

  Carole Bennett : You're racing in the Libra Open at Riverside at the end of the month, right?

  Peter Thorndyke : Yes.

  Carole Bennett : Well, I'm sure that Mr. Douglas would like to get the remainder of his payments off his back.

  Peter Thorndyke : No doubt. Why should I think that is such a good idea?

  Carole Bennett : Well, if Mr. Douglas entered the race, he could bet his share of the little car against the remaining payments.

  Peter Thorndyke : [liking the idea]  What do you say, Douglas? Winner to become the sole owner of the car.

  [Jim says nothing, but stands up and walks a few feet away] 

  Peter Thorndyke : A moment ago, you mentioned teaching me a lesson. Do I now detect a note of timidity?

  Jim Douglas : Racing. That's the name of the game, isn't it? Win or lose, put up or shut up. You got yourself a deal, Thorndyke.

• Jim Douglas : I'll do it! Okay, I'll do it! But I just want to go on record, I have, I have seen some crummy stunts in my time used to sell cars, but this beats everything! To plant this bug in the possession of an innocent man, and then to accuse me of stealing it!

  Peter Thorndyke : How dare you, sir. Are you suggesting that I would stoop to such tactics?

  Jim Douglas : That's exactly what I'm suggesting!

  Peter Thorndyke : In the first place, it might interest you to that under normal circumstances, I would never sell a car to someone with whom I'm not; well shall we say, socially compatible.

  Jim Douglas : Socially compatible? You would sell a car!

  Carole Bennett : Please! Please, let's not go through that again. I think we've worked it out very well. Mr. Douglas needs a car, and for a very low amount down, and the usual monthly payments... the car will become his.

  Peter Thorndyke : Very well. Even though my personal inclination is to have Mr. Douglas tapped into jail and this four wheel contrivance dropped into the bay!

  Detective : I think Mr. Thorndyke is being very fair.

  Jim Douglas : Fair! It's not fair, I'm being muscled! I just want you know that I know, I know it and I don't like it!

  Carole Bennett : I'll draw the papers. Would you come with me please?

  Peter Thorndyke : Then get Mr. Douglas and his acquisition out of here before I lose my temper!