M*A*S*H (1970)

Fred Williamson: Dr. Oliver 'Spearchucker' Jones

Photos 

Quotes 

• Colonel Blake : [to Spearchucker Jones at the football practice]  I had another idea. I think we should have some plays. You know, usually in football you have some organized plays...

  Spearchucker : If you don't mind, I took the liberty.

  Colonel Blake : Oh, you have...

  Spearchucker : I drew up about seven or eight plays. I figure that's about all this bunch can handle.

  Colonel Blake : Oh, these are good. These are very good. Uh, what are these little arrows?

• Colonel Blake : All right, men, we're not here to sell lemonade. We're here to practice. But first, I'd like to officially welcome Spearchucker. Is it all right to call you that?

  Spearchucker : Call me whatever you want to.

  Colonel Blake : Good. Well, I just want you to know that we're all the same here on the playing field.

  [pause] 

  Colonel Blake : Uh, officers and enlisted men alike.

• Cpl. Judson : Bastard, 88, called me a coon.

  Spearchucker : Called you a what?

  Cpl. Judson : Coon.

  Spearchucker : OK, that's an old pro trick, to get you thrown out of the ball game.

  Cpl. Judson : Well...

  Spearchucker : Why don't you do the same thing to him?

  Cpl. Judson : What, call him a coon?

• Spearchucker : I want to make sure the oozing is checked before I close up.

  Duke Forrest : Damn perfectionist.

• Colonel Blake : I think it's important we go over the three basic principles: organization, discipline, and team work.

  Spearchucker : Excuse me, but do you mind if we limber up first?

  Colonel Blake : Oh, th-that's a good idea. You organize that.

• Hawkeye Pierce : Duke?

  Duke Forrest : [in the middle of a brain operation with Spearchucker]  Uh... what is it?

  Hawkeye Pierce : Henry's got our orders. We can go home.

  Duke Forrest : Right now?

  Spearchucker : Anytime! Whenever we want.

  Spearchucker : [to Duke]  You mind if we get out of this guy's brain first?

• Colonel Blake : [blows whistle]  Alright, men! we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice. But first, I'd like to officially welcome Spearchucker to our team. It is okay to call you that?

  Spearchucker : Call me whatever you want to.

  Colonel Blake : Good. Well, I just want you to know that we're all the same here on the playing field. Officers and men alike.