- Narrator of 'The Adventures of Letterman': Faster than a rolling "O"! Stronger than silent "E"! Able to leap capital "T" in a single bound! It's a word, it's a plan, it's Letterman!
- Blond-Haired Cartoon Man: I can't swim. I can't swim. That's true, that's true, I can't swim a stroke. But as far as drowning is concerned, you are looking at the king!
- Buddy - Member of the Short Circus: [speaking to Fargo, after being revealed as his impersonator] Please don't be angry at me, Mr. North, I've always admired you and wanted to be a great decoder someday like you, but I needed a little practice.
- Roberto: [to Jim Boyd's character Lt. Krojak/ re Fargo North, Decoder] Boss, you call this guy an expert? I've seen better heads on warts.