They Call Him Cemetery (1971) Poster

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6/10
Decent
FightingWesterner10 March 2011
Two fancy-pants brothers return west after years of eastern schooling and almost immediately anger the local gang of murderous extortionists. However, the boys have an ace up their sleeves in the form of ultra-cool gunslinger Gianni Garko, a mystery man with a debt to pay.

After the first several minutes of pretty silly slapstick, things get good, with lots of amusing touches and a neat performance by Garko, dubbed into English by an actor sounding like he's doing an impersonation of Clint Eastwood!

Whenever Garko disappears too long though, the movie begins to suffer. Still, it's worth recommending for spaghetti western fans who've already seen everything.

I've noticed that other viewers seem to overlook the connection between the brothers and the gunfighter, why he's protecting them. It's actually explained quite early on, in pretty certain terms.
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6/10
Too bad the dubbing and print are lousy--this would have been an exceptional film
planktonrules22 October 2009
Before I review the film, I want to say a bit about the DVD that has both this film and another so-called 'spaghetti Western' ("Il Prezzo del Potere"). The picture quality is very poor and the DVD has no captions--just really bad quality dubbing. While in some films in the genre the dubbing was excellent (such as in the Clint Eastwood films), this one is not particularly good. As for the picture, it's scratchy and dark--so dark in one important scene that you have no idea what is happening. It is obviously a second-rate (or possibly third-rate) packaging of the film. You can't blame the film makers for this. In its original form it must have been a much better film.

The film begins with two brothers coming to the West to see their father. Apparently, they have been educated back East and have no idea of the life on the range. To call them ignorant is charitable--they are idiots. When they stand up to a representative of a group of extortionists who are threatening their father's ranch, they beat him (the extortionist--not the father) up...and have no idea that the gang will naturally come looking for them. They also naively assume the law will simply arrest the gang and can take care of the problem non-violently. Can anyone be THAT stupid in a film of this genre??!! Fortunately, a man in black ('Cemetery') stumbles upon them and takes pity on them--teaching them how to use a gun and not be a couple ignorant rubes! In many ways, this man in black is similar to characters played by men such as Lee Van Cleef in Westerns--a decent and inexplicable guy and also someone you don't want to irritate! In addition, he has an acquaintance who is also equally bad whose loyalty to his boss seems a bit suspect at times--leading to an interesting showdown between the two master gunfighters near the end.

While there were approximately 68 bazillion Italian Westerns made during this era (give or take three), what sets this one apart a bit is that it doesn't take itself so seriously. Sure, it has all the requisite killing, the bad guys and the scary bad hero, but it manages to make you laugh occasionally (such as the swimming scene as well as when one guy's mustache ended up looking like Charlie Chaplin's--thanks to some fancy shooting). While certainly not in the same league as the Sergio Leone films, this is very good and worth seeing--plus I doubt it was intended to be in the same league. Still, this one is more a very good time-passer with a bit more to offer--even if some of the humor is a bit broad (such as the fight scene with the ranchers).

Overall, the film loses a couple points for the dubbing and print quality and earns an overall score of 6. In its original form, no doubt it would be a bit higher.
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5/10
Offbeat Western comedy with a hero named Cemetery who looks exactly like Sartana
ma-cortes15 June 2010
This exciting picture displays Western noisy action , gun-play , fun situations and bits of humor. The film gets the comic remarks from Western parody united the features of typical Spaghetti . ¨Camposanto¨ is an entertaining SW with lots of mayhem , crossfire and funny incidents and fun ; however , being slightly mediocre . This time the new hero is named Camposanto o Cemetery (John Garco) who looks exactly like Sartana , he is a tidy and rapid gunfighter . Camposanto protects a young pair of brothers , sons of a baron land whom is blackmailing some hoodlums (Ivano Staccioli) . Cemetery join forces with Duke (Austrian actor resident in Italy named William Berger who played several Westerns and unforgettable co-starring in ¨Sabata¨ as the banjo man) , another blond and long-haired gunslinger against nasties who are suborning cattlemen . The dark , elegant hero , a freelance gunman , named Camposanto (Gianni Garco or John Garco) appears to chase the nasty gunfighter and discovers the rackets and killings . The confrontation will be inevitable between the town's despots , a cruel murderous , and , of course , Sartana .

This first movie on Camposanto character starred by Gianni Garco is plenty of action , shootouts , tongue in cheek , double-crosses, twists and loads of violence . This bewildering picture gets the humorous remarks from Western parody combined to features of Spaghetti . Camposanto is another hero of second class in the S.W. genre as Sabata (Lee Van Cleef) , Sartana (Gianni Garco) or Cuchillo (Tomas Milian) . Cemetery character bears remarkable resemblance to Sartana . ¨Cemetery¨ or ¨Camposanto¨ is a two-fisted and tough gunfighter with technical weaponry (like a Western James Bond) and a lot of tricks similarly to previous Sabata . Giuliano Carmineo , alias Anthony Ascott, directed various Sartana with George Hilton who replaces Gianni Garco , as Hilton played more natural and roguish than Garco who was cold and peculiar . This entertaining picture gets the humorous remarks from Western parody combined to features of Spaghetti . The movie gets the usual Italian Western issues , such as : greedy antiheroes , violent facing off , quick zooms , exaggerated baddies , among them . It appears secondary actors who are habitual in Italian Western and Peplum genre , such as : Nello Pazzafini , Ivano Staccioli and Rick Boyd . Special mention to androgynous Franco Ressel , Spaghetti's customary as a powerful tyrant . Enjoyable musical score by Bruno Nicolai , Ennio Morricone's usual collaborator , full of guttural sounds and whistles . Average cinematography by habitual Stelvio Massi and atmospheric set decoration by Carlo Leva .

The picture was regularly directed by Giuliano Carmineo or Anthony Scott , subsequently he directed another Spaghetti-hero named Sabata with Gianni Garco in the title role . Giuliano Carmineo realized several Spaghettis , most of them featuring mainly the same cast again , such as "Di Tresette Ce N'è Uno, Tutti Gli Altri son Nessuno" ,"Lo Chiamavano Tresette... Giocava Sempre Col Morto" that actually was the last time George Hilton/Chris Huerta and Carnimeo worked on such a western comedy together , ¨The moment to kill¨, ¨Find a place to die¨ , ¨Uomo Avvisato Mezzo Ammazzato... Parola Di Spirito Santo¨ (original title) or "His Name Was Holy Ghost" , ¨They call me Hallaluya¨ , and the Sartana movies : "Have a Good Funeral, My Friend, Sartana Will Pay" , ¨Sartana the gravedigger'(69) ,"Sartana's Coming, Get Your Coffins Ready" , ¨Light the fuse Sartana is coming¨(1971) , among others . Giuliano also directed other kinds of genres , as Sci-Fi : ¨Exterminators of the year 3000¨, ¨Computron¨, Giallo : ¨The case of the bloody iris¨ , Crime thriller : ¨Secrets of a Call Girl¨ , Buddy movie films : ¨Convoy Buddies" or "Kid Stuff" , "The Diamond Peddlers" . This "They call him Cemetery¨ is clearly inferior to his entries in Sartana series . Rating : 5.5/10 . Acceptable and passable .
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6/10
Uneven but entertaining western
ChungMo21 September 2010
Written by the director of the famed Trinity comedy western films and directed by man who helmed 3 of the four official Sartana films, this outing works and doesn't at the same time.

The story of two greenhorn brothers fighting against a gang terrorizing ranchers is trite and only provides a reason to bring together the two main characters of the movie, Ace of Hearts/Cemetery (played by Garko) and Duke (played by Berger). Both are uber-cool bounty hunters who know and respect each other well and find themselves in a situation where they are working for opposite sides. Whenever these two actors are on the screen, either together or solo, the film is interesting. The direction is uneven as well, sometimes it's very stylish and well photographed, other times banal and full of gratuitous zooms. The script might have worked if the English actors who were chosen for the greenhorn brothers weren't so miscast. Bruno Nicolai's theme for the film is great but, like many of these films, it is repeated to the point of near insanity. The audio is very muffled in the English soundtrack and the print going around at this time is slightly cropped.

So it's not a complete waste of time, if a better print ever shows up I might watch it again.
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6/10
The Simplist Movies are the Hardest to Understand
chain832 May 2007
This isn't a profound movie and doesn't try to be. It's a low budget action comedy (with a little bit of parody) which is great fun to watch, but doesn't try at all to be a classic.

Film scholars are gonna have nothing to go on here, but will inevitably compare it to Leone and Kurosawa just like they do to every other Spaghetti Western (or Samurai film in the case of Kurosawa specifically). Here's a hint: Just because it's a Western made in Italy doesn't mean the movie was trying to accomplish what Leone was.

The movie itself? As a fun movie I'd give it a ten out of ten, because it's perfect for what it is. If you have some spare time or if you see it in a bargain bin or whatever, go for it. It's a funny, quirky little movie. It's not a great film, but if movies like this didn't exist, I'd go freaking nuts. As much as I appreciate Citizen Kane, I'll never enjoy it like I enjoy these kinds of movies.
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7/10
Oh man, this is such a good movie!
cwhaskell10 January 2012
Seriously, where did Spaghetti Western Comedies go? The literal translation (best I could do) is "The Smoking Colt ... Call Him Cemetery" and don't worry about the fact it doesn't translate well, every other portion of the movie does.

There is an amazing theme song, good humor, plenty of gun fights, just in general a real positive energy throughout the entire film. The quality of the print was pretty awful, so I hope someone picks this up and restores it. The man called cemetery is a grizzled veteran of Westerns All'Italiana who appeared as the anti-hero several times and knows how to stare down a bad guy and can not-be-bothered-while-people-are-shooting-at- him with the best of em. Take the time out to watch this forgotten gem.

Rating: 30/40
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They Call Him Cemetery - an all around great spaghett western ensemble.
chaos-rampant8 June 2008
Giuliano Carnimeo is mostly known in the spaghetti western universe for his Sartana sequels that followed in the wake of Frank Krammer's very successful original, so successful in fact that it spawned a vast number of unofficial sequels only second to Django. For They Call Him Cemetery, he takes two seasoned genre veterans and throws everything and the kitchen sink in the mix to make a damn fine, entertaining movie.

Two young greenhorns with impeccable manners arrive from Boston to see their father somewhere in the far west. Which, as they soon discover, is a lawless place, full of gun-totting and impolite people. Their father, along with every major ranch owner in the area, is being blackmailed on a regular basis by a bunch of bandits. It's up to the two youngsters to find out who's behind all the scamming, but they're not on their own.

Enter Gianni Garko as the Stranger. Garko is one of those genre actors that is probably unknown outside the spaghetti western circle, but a cult icon for fans. A regular collaborator with Carnimeo, here he practically reprises his famous Sartana role. Sure the name's different, but the gun, the look and the style all screams Sartana. Garko might be on the greenhorn's side but his antagonist, hired by the bandits to bushwack the nosy kids is none other than William Berger, another great actor and cult spaghetti western icon. Both of them are spot on in their roles and there are sparks flying in their scenes together. A big part of why They Call Him Cemetery is so successful is that it relies on the shoulders of such experienced and talented leads.

Lucky for us, the absurdly convoluted plot lines of Carnimeo's Sartana sequels are missing. Instead we get a fairly simple story, with a whodunit touch and lots of comedy, both in the form of caustic dialogues (Berger's lines about his mother are a hoot and a half) and bucketloads of slapstick. If the latter brings to mind the Trinity movies, it should be no surprise, as Enzo Barboni penned this one. There's none of the grim outlook of Corbucci's westerns to be found here. No sign of the leftist Mexican revolution trend of the late 60's either. This is a funny, badass, stylish Italo-western that concerns itself only with pure entertainment. The pacing is practically perfect, something interesting happening at every scene. There's also a great score by Bruno Nicolai, who provides nice themes for both Garko and Berger's characters. Sure there might the typical amount of unnecessary pans and fast zooms that every spaghetti boasts, but what really makes it so good is that it's crafted with genuine fascination for the old west (and the old American westerns by extension).

In that sense, it's a true spectacle in the vein of master Sergio Leone. Like the godfather of the genre used to say "it's like playing cowboys and Indians". Indeed, there's a playful quality in They Call him Cemetery that makes everything so much fun to behold. The vision of the chaotic west seen through the eyes of the two greenhorns in the first 15 minutes as they arrive in the small town is a laugh riot. Parents soothe their babies cries by giving them a bullet to chew on, old ladies demonstrate their impeccable shooting skills by chopping cacti in half, there's a huge slapstick brawl inside a saloon, people face-off in the middle of the street. Everything is tongue-in-cheek and yet done with a childlike fascination for the west that now takes the form of myth. That's where spaghetti westerns really take off. It's the old west interpreted through the eyes of impressionable Europeans. And when they succeed like They Call Him Cemetery does, it's because the people that make these movies really love their subject matter. Judging by Carnimeo's other films, I didn't think much of him. This one certainly had me reconsidering
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5/10
This doesn't get too far as a spaghetti western with a comedic tint
stamper28 September 2003
This film was written by Enzo Barboni (also known as E.B.Clucher), the man who wrote and directed Lo chiamavano Trinità (1971) and ...continuavano a chiamarlo Trinità (1972). Those two films starred Terence Hill and Bud Spencer and they are, in my humble opinion,two of the best spaghetti westerns ever made. I agree that they are not as 'serious' and cool as the spaghetti westerns with Clint Eastwood, but still I enjoy them, mainly for their good stories and their funny and entertaining nature. Since I am a huge fan of the two movies I just named I decided to take a look at this one as well (mainly because Barboni wrote it).

NOTE: Just like all Terence Hill and / or Bud Spencer movies I see, I saw this one spoken in German.

Now, to be honest, this is not a film I'll recommend you to see. First of all, it is not nearly as funny as either Trinità film I mentioned before and second of all, the story isn't too good. I mean this film has a simple and basic story (as do most westerns), but I am afraid, the characters in it were just not that good. The cool guys were not cool enough, the bad guys were not bad enough and the McIntire boys were not put down well enough for me to like them. Also the myth surrounding 'The Stranger' was given away way too soon. The best scenes in this film were the ones in which Gianni Garko (The Stranger) and William Berger (Duke) shared the screen, particularly those towards the end of the film. The rest of the film just wasn't funny or exciting enough and reminded me a lot of E poi lo chiamarono il magnifico Barboni wrote and directed a year after this one was released. Stay away from this one and try Lo chiamavano Trinità or ...continuavano a chiamarlo Trinità instead.

4,5 out of 10 (of which 0,5 were counted as a bonus for the decent ending)
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8/10
Spaghetti Western just the way you like it
leosmith-111669 May 2016
A Bullet for a Stranger( or 'They call him Cementary') is a film thats howcases the best of spaghetti westerns. It's got humour, it's got awesome shootouts, and it has a great score.

The Characters are great,especially 'the guardian angel'. He is very similar to Blondie in the good the bad and the ugly. He is looking out for the two brothers, who are somewhat annoying, but eventually turn out to be admirable heroes.

The DVDs restoration is terrible quality, and should really be restored. But even with the sloppy DVD quality, the film stills holds through as epic and highly entertaining,

A bullet for a stranger is a great film and should be held up as one of the best Spagehtti westerns made.
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6/10
Fun Terence Hill movie
BandSAboutMovies19 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Alternatively known as His Pistols Smoked... They Call Him Cemetery and A Bullet for a Stranger, this 1971 Italian Western was directed by Giuliano Carnimeo, who often used the pseudonym Anthony Ascott. He has quite the cowboy movie list to his credits, including Sartana the Gravedigger; Have a Good Funeral, My Friend... Sartana Will Pay; I Am Sartana, Trade Your Guns for a Coffin; The Moment To Kill; Find A Place to Die; They Call Me Hallelujah and His Name Was Holy Ghost as well as the movies The Case of the Bloody Iris, Exterminators of the Year 3000 and Ratman.

John (Chris Chittell, The Wild Geese and the long-running UK soap opera Emmerdale) and George McIntire have run into some trouble with a gang. They have no way of surviving until a mysterious stranger named Cemetery (Gianni Garko, Sartana himself!) rolls into town to help them against the baddies, who then hire his nemesis Ace (William Berger).

If you listen to the Bruno Nicolai theme and it sounds familiar, that's because it was used in the game Red Dead Revolver.
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8/10
Entertaining tongue-in-cheek spaghetti Western
Woodyanders14 April 2010
Warning: Spoilers
George (likable John Fordyce) and John McIntire (the equally engaging Chris Chittell) are a couple of naive brothers who travel to a lawless western town to see their father. The bumbling siblings find themselves in big trouble after they beat up a member of a gang of extortionists. Fortunately, shrewd and lethal mysterious gunfighter Camposanto (the great Gianno Garko, as smooth and charismatic as ever) decides to help the guys out of their jam by teaching them how to fend for themselves. Director Giuliano Carnimeo, working from a blithely silly and playful script by Enzo Barboni, relates the breezy story at a constant brisk pace, maintains a properly lighthearted tone throughout, and stages the wacky slapstick brawls and energetic shoot-outs with real verve (the climactic thrilling and dynamic confrontation between our heroes and the bad guys in particular seriously smokes). William Berger delivers a terrifically assured and commanding performance as crafty and deadly rival gunslinger Duke; the easy and natural chemistry between Berger and Garko makes all their scenes together a total pleasure to watch. Bruno Nicolai's rousing, twangy, and spirited score hits the stirring spot. Stelvio Massi's lively widescreen cinematography boasts a lots of crazy zooms and fierce pans. An immensely enjoyable and often amusing comedic romp.
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8/10
Much facial hair action in this one
Bezenby31 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
This one's a keeper! Mega-stylish fun from Guiliano Carnimeo, who would also give us The Case of the Bloody Iris, one of the best gialli around. This time he's got two (camp) brothers heading from the East back to their dad's ranch, who's having trouble with an extortion racket. The brothers are absolutely crap at everything, so luckily for them dark stranger Ace (Gianni Garko) comes to their aid. Unluckily for them, the bad guys have hired William Berger to kill them.

Garko shows the two fops how to mete out justice in the Wild West, while Berger sits around moodily waiting to pop a cap in their behinds. He's got this little collapsible whiskey cup, that, when folded up and put away, is a signal that someone nearby is going to shortly resemble a colander. Berger and Garko have a mutual respect for each other which is played rather nicely through the film. There's also an element of mystery in the film as we don't know who runs the extortion racket.

The director of photography here is Stelvio Massi (of 'Italian gangster movies' fame), and it is uniformly excellent. There's plenty of gunfights here, a bit of slapstick, and your usual big fight at the end. If you can get over some of the broad comedy (a trend in these flicks) you'll have a good time here.
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The Rule of Twos
tedg27 November 2006
The curse of following a formula is that you will necessarily be compared to the best examples of that formula. And the best of this pocket of movies is the Leone stuff. We've actually, I think, adjusted our definitions of camp and happy excess to suit those, because of a couple elements that appeal: the musical riffs, the Eastwood grin.

This one has a stylized west, absolutely no females in any frame. Good, bad and samurai. As with the Leone/samurai model, all the plot devices revolve around the noble rules of "the guild" of gunfighters for hire. All the humor is based on coolness associated with lethality. For those of us that like this sort of thing, the ultimate trip starts with Kurosawa, runs through Leone's copy and ends with Walter Hill's "Last Man Standing.

So this is a sort of waste of time, is less of everything that is defined elsewhere. But if you stumble on this, pay attention to the rule of twos. Its a simple way for writers to create superficial folds after the manner of Tolstoy.

Here you have two gunslingers, two bad guys, two factions in the good guys (the breeders), two comic sons, two more comic Mexican servants of the sons. If there were real writing going on, you'd see reflections from one pair to the other, tensions between pairs reflected in certain pairs and so on.

Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.
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