Columbo (TV Series)

Blueprint for Murder (1972)

Peter Falk: Columbo

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Quotes 

• Columbo : Ya see, I figured you had the body somewhere, but what you really wanted was a fool-proof hiding place. Now what's better than a place that's already been searched - and at considerable cost and my embarrassment?

• Columbo : Uh, the point is this, Mrs. Williamson...

  Goldie Williamson : My friends call me Goldie, and since I'm standing here practically naked with you, you better be my friend.

  Columbo : Would you mind repeating that last sentence? I don't think I quite understood.

  Goldie Williamson : I said, since I'm standing here practically naked with you, you better be my friend - and my friends call me Goldie.

• Elliot Markham : Lieutenant, anybody ever tell you you're very much like an arachnid?

  Columbo : A what?

  Elliot Markham : A tick. They're quite common but excessively tenacious. They hang on. They let go only under extreme prodding.

• Doctor : Are you looking for something?

  Columbo : Uh, do you have a lighter?

  Doctor : You won't find one here, Lieutenant. And let me give you some free medical advise: stop smoking those things.

  Columbo : Well, I-I've been trying.

  Doctor : Trying isn't good enough. Remember, I deal in pacemakers.

• Elliot Markham : Lieutenant, I want you to know I admire you.

  Columbo : Oh, really?

  Elliot Markham : You got the courage of your conviction. That's an admirable trait - misdirected as it may be.

• Columbo : Carnegie Hall and Nashville - they don't mix.

• Goldie Williamson : The current Mrs. Williamson. I call her the next-ex. Don't get me wrong, lover. She's half my age and twice as pretty but I like her. Bo reached the point where he thought he needed a younger woman, and she's better than most.

  Columbo : I gotta say this for you, you got a pretty healthy attitude.

  Goldie Williamson : I can afford it. He pays, you know. I tell you, lover, if gold lame was legal tender, I'd rule the world.

• Columbo : You mean to tell me that your ex-husband's closer to you than he is to his current wife?

  Goldie Williamson : Lieutenant, we were married for 22 years. We never had any children. So we spent a lotta time getting to know one another. Jennifer gives him youth. For the rest, he comes to me.

• Guard : No one's allowed in there.

  Columbo : What do you mean no one's allowed? I see 30 people down there.

  Guard : No one's allowed in there without an invitation. You have an invitation?

  Columbo : No, I don't have an invitation.

  Guard : That's what I'm trying to tell you. You have no invitation. So Out.

• Columbo : I don't know what she's said but it sounded like she liked me.

• Columbo : You know, what's a funny thing about that car. Car's got a tape machine in it and the glove compartment is full of cassettes. Every one of them is country and western music. That's all. And his wife tells me this man doesn't listen to anything else.

  Elliot Markham : Nothing unusual about that.

  Columbo : No. Except the radio dial was set at 52, classical station. Turned it on, classical music.

• Columbo : You're a great classical music fan yourself, aren't you? I saw your record collection down in the office.

  Elliot Markham : Guilty, Lieutenant. I like classical music. Along with a few hundred thousand other people in this city.

• Columbo : It's a wonder the man finds all the time, right?

• Columbo : I mean, you put a body under a building, you would find it for a hundred years.

  Elliot Markham : I'll keep that in mind, Lieutenant, in case I kill somebody.

• Elliot Markham : Are you interested in buildings or builders?

  Columbo : What do you mean?

  Elliot Markham : Well, let's look at your itinerary. You showed up at my office at my lecture, and now at my construction site.

  Columbo : Well, actually, I just happened to some have spare time.

  Elliot Markham : Perhaps you should spend your time a little more productively.

• Columbo : Look, Doctor, really...

  Doctor : I know, you came here to ask me questions. But a checkup never hurts. Now, do you get enough exercise?

  Columbo : Well, I walk a bit. Doctor, listen. I just had a police physical.

  Doctor : Can't have too many, Lieutenant.

• Elliot Markham : Let's dig it up.

  Columbo : What?

  Elliot Markham : Come on. You know you want to.

  Columbo : I don't know what you're talking about?

  Elliot Markham : Well, it's such a marvelous place to hide a body. A crew comes in and digs a hole. The hole sits there overnight. If I were a murderer, hypothetically speaking of course, it would be made to order. I'd just drive up and dump the body. The next morning the crew comes in and fills the hole with concrete. Neat, clean, foolproof.

  Columbo : Wait a minute. If you were a murderer, hypothetically like you say, you're not gonna tell this to the police.

  Elliot Markham : Why not? You'd never be able to dig it up. Besides how do you know I'm not a victim of my own bravado?

• Columbo : How much would it cost? I mean, to actually dig up pile D-3. Just for the sake of curiosity.

  Elliot Markham : A great deal more than your bank account, Lieutenant. To say nothing of the permits, assuming you got permission, which is doubtful.

• Columbo : I guess I was wrong.

  Elliot Markham : I consider that an accurate statement.

• Columbo : You know, bodies have a funny way of surfacing.

• Elliot Markham : Ahead of me all the way, weren't you?

  Columbo : Well, I kinda had a hunch.

• Columbo : Mr Markham, I think I owe you an apology.

  Elliot Markham : Is that all you have to say? Not much. Good night.

• Columbo : Got it.

  Clerk : Good.

  Columbo : Well?

  Clerk : Lunch hour. Come back at one o'clock.