- Johnny Ears: My old man used to say, "Take a pan of water, put some coffee in it, boil it, throw a horseshoe in it. If the horseshoe sinks, add more coffee.
- Johnny Ears: [as they are preparing to blow up a rockslide] It's too bad you can't hear the biggest explosion in Texas
- Erastus 'Deaf' Smith: [points at his eyes and then mimics a gigantic explosion]