Herbie Rides Again (1974)
Raymond Bailey: Lawyer
Quotes
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[Alonzo Hawk is lying on the couch in his office after having an angry fit over the phone with his nephew]
Lawyer : Don't worry, Mr. Hawk. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning.
Alonzo Hawk : Ah, stop talking like an idiot. I feel better right now! Alonzo Hawk can be betrayed, but he is never defeated! Out of my way!
[Gets up and moves to his desk]
Alonzo Hawk : Since none of you pitful excuses for men have enough muscle to move a feeble little old lady off her property, I'll go and do it myself, like I have to everything around here that's important .
Lawyer : Now, now, Mr. Hawk...
Alonzo Hawk : Oh, shut up! We'll start on Number 1 - Harassment! And I wrote the book on harrassment - We'll shut up her phone, turn off her water; we'll sic the Health & Building inspectors on her, steal her dog.
Lawyer : She doesn't have a dog.
Alonzo Hawk : What do you mean she doesn't have a dog? A little old lady living in a place like that? Who looks out for her? How does she get around?
Lawyer : She has a little car she goes everywhere in.
Alonzo Hawk : Well then, you fellows go and pick it up!
Lawyer : Yes, Mr. Hawk!
[the lawyers start to leave]
Alonzo Hawk : [Mutters to himself] Bunch of lame-brains!
[shouts to his lawyers]
Alonzo Hawk : Hold it! Hold it! You fellows will probably even foul up on a simple assignment like this. The first team is on the job now - I'LL go and pick the car up myself!
[Gets up and walks out of the office]
Alonzo Hawk : Over-rated cage of PINHEADS!
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Lawyer : [Alonzo Hawk has just gone off about his nephew checking out without notifying anyone]
[picks up the phone]
Lawyer : Yes? Oh.
[hands the phone to Hawk]
Lawyer : It's your nephew.
Alonzo Hawk : [in an excited, high-pitched voice] WILLOUGHBY?
[he picks up the phone, speaking normally]
Alonzo Hawk : Willoughby, where are you?
Willoughby Whitfield : [Willoughby is standing in a Hawk phone booth] Oh, hi, uncle. I just thought I'd save time and phone you the news.
Alonzo Hawk : Aw, that's marvelous, that's great, you're a smart boy! That Hawk blood will tell in the end.
Willoughby Whitfield : [In the booth, Willoughby imitates a ship horn and fakes a Swedish accent] All ashore that's going ashore!
[Willoughby whistles into the phone]
Alonzo Hawk : What's all that noise, and-- and what news?
Willoughby Whitfield : Oh, the news that I was leaving town.
Alonzo Hawk : [in disbelief] Leaving town...?
Willoughby Whitfield : I'm on the ship-to-shore phone...
[imitates a frequency noise]
Willoughby Whitfield : ... from the deck of the Swedish freighter, the Gustav Gustaffson, bound for Helsinki!
Alonzo Hawk : [in a gasping, high-pitched voice] HELSINKI?
Willoughby Whitfield : I'm glad you're taking it like this, uncle. You know, you really should leave Mrs. Steinmetz alone.
[Alonzo Hawk screams incomprehensible gibberish before screaming so loudly into the phone that all the glass walls of the phone booth Willoughby is standing in shatter simultaneously; Willoughby leaves as Hawk continues to scream indistinct gibberish]