User Reviews

In 1977, there hadn't been a James Bond film since 1974's The Man with the Golden Gun. After the film's release, producers Saltzman and Broccoli dissolved their relationship, with Saltzman selling his stake in Eon Productions's parent company, Danjaq, LLC, to United Artists.

There was also the possibility that there would be two different Bond franchises, with Broccoli's 1977 effort being The Spy Who Loved Me and Kevin McClory using his lawsuit to perhaps make James Bond of the Secret Service.

Lindsay Shonteff decided to fill the void.

Sure, he'd made The 2nd Best Secret Agent in the Whole Wide World, The Million Eyes of Sumuru and Spy Story, but now he was going to make his very own Bold movie.

Instead of James Bond, Charles Bind (Nickey Henson, Psychomania) has the license to kill.

He's up against K.R.A.S.H. (Killing Rape Arson Slaughter and Hit), their leader and a weirdo named Arthur Loveday (Richard Todd, Asylum) who is killing off rich financiers.

If you think the Roger Moore-era films are too silly, you'd best avoid this movie. I mean, what did you expect? The name Charles Bind comes from Carry On Spying, after all.

This was followed by two sequels that had different actors play 008: Licensed to Love and Kill with Gareth Hunt and Number One Gun, which has Michael Howe in the lead role.

If the theme song "Givin' It Plenty" is familiar, well, you may have seen Tintorera as many times as I have. It's in that movie too.

People to keep an eye out for include former Dr. Who Jon Pertwee, Katya Wyeth (Hands of the Ripper), Geoffrey Keen (Minister of Defence Frederick Gray in six Bond films), former pro wrestler Milton Reed (who is in all manner of spy films, from Dr. No and Casino Royale to The Spy Who Loved Me and Deadlier Than the Male) and Oliver MacGreevy (The Ipcress File).

Bond never would use a .357 Magnum Smith & Wesson Model 66 revolver, much less the 50 calibre Browning machine gun.

This belated spy spoof doesn't offer many laughs (in fact, I can hardly point to one big laugh in the entire picture), but it's bizarre enough to be worth a look for curiosity's sake at least. To give you an idea of its sense of humor: a man stabs a woman in the back of a taxi; the driver turns his head and says "You're such a lady killer, sir". If you find that kind of pun hilarious, you're in luck - there's plenty more where it came from. If you don't, you're out of luck - especially since the "action" parts of the film are so technically crude (director Shonteff has the habit of shooting fights from such strange camera angles that you can barely make out anything at all). Richard Todd, as the ultra-suave villain, adds some class to the film; the actor who played the Minister of Defense in some of the Roger Moore Bond films also turns up here, as Bind's boss. And the music score is more fun than the film itself. ** out of 4.

Interviewed some years ago, actor Nicky Henson was asked how he felt now about 'Psychomania', the cult 1972 shocker in which he played a Hells Angel who rises from the dead. "Ashamed!" was his response. One wonders what he must feel about 'No.1 Of The Secret Service', a cheaply made secret agent movie released in the wake of 'The Spy Who Loved Me'. Some background is in order; in 1965, Lindsay Shonteff directed and co-wrote 'Licensed To Kill' ( known in America as 'The Second Best Secret Agent In The Whole Wide World' ), in which Tom Adams played British spy 'Charles Vine'. It proved popular enough to justify two sequels ( neither involving Shonteff ). In 1977, he revived the character, altering the surname to 'Bind' ( possibly for legal reasons ) and giving him the number '1'. Like his predecessor, Bind is quick with guns ( and has developed a penchant for twirling a pair of Magnums like some flamboyant Western gunfighter ). Because this was the '70's, he was free to make sexist comments about 'big knockers' and pinch girl's bums. He also does Mary Lou Retton-style back-flips and drives a cool-looking car.

His main adversary here is 'Arthur Loveday' ( Richard Todd ), an eccentric millionaire who has decided to embark on a one-man moral crusade by murdering financiers profiting through the selling of arms to Britain's enemies. He makes no pretence at innocence; when Bind visits him at his country home, he not only confesses to the killings, but challenges Bind to try and stop him. One bizarre murder attempt after another ensues ( including one by a woman equipped with Dracula-like fangs ). Loveday has enlisted the services of K.R.A.S.H. ( Killing, Raping, Arson, Slaughter and Hit ), a kind of mercenary-for-hire outfit. The plot is more 'Avengers' than 007, but sadly lacks that famous series' wit and class.

Henson is excellent. Not only is he handsome, but has a natural flair for comedy ( as he later displayed in the 'Fawlty Towers' episode 'The Psychiatrist' ). Todd is also good as 'Loveday'. One wishes the pair were in another film, one with both a decent budget and better script. Bind's dialogue contains some Bondian quips; surviving an attack by a barber, he remarks: "that was a close shave!". 'Service' often looks like it was made by the production company responsible for 'Adventures Of A Taxi Driver'. There is no gadgetry, and the fight scenes are messily choreographed. Quite a chunk of the film is set on a cross-channel ferry to Bologne. But no sooner have we arrived than the story shifts suddenly back to Blighty!

Squeaky-voiced Aimi MacDonald is miscast as M15 agent 'Anna Hudson'. In a running gag ( which grated on me ) each time she meets Bind he wets her blouse with a soda syphon ( she is not the bra-wearing type ). Geoffrey Keen is Bind's grumpy boss 'Rockwell' ( previously played by John Arnatt ), and Katja Wyeth is his 'Miss Moneypenny'-like secretary 'Miss Martin'. Also in the cast are Dudley Sutton ( as the leader of K.R.A.S.H. ), Sue Lloyd as a horny nun, and Jon Pertwee has a cameo as a Vicar who loves porno magazines. Fiona Curzon, cast as a girl whom Bind meets in a bar, was promoted to leading lady for the sequel 'Licensed To Love & Kill'.

Despite the cheapness of the production, this is worth watching. It is rubbish but knows it, and does not care. Some of the shoot-outs will have you goggling in disbelief. At one point, Bind is lured to a deserted airfield. Jeeps containing khaki-clad K.R.A.S.H. killers race into view. Standing nonchalantly in the open air, Bind wipes out the lot with his Magnums and an automatic machine gun built into his car. A cool customer is our Charlie. Catch this in the right frame of mind and you might enjoy it. Don't expect any super tankers, underwater cars or laser satellites though. The catchy theme song - 'Giving It Plenty' - was sung and composed by Simon Bell.

Henson was signed to do two sequels, but an offer from the R.S.C. made him change his mind. Shonteff was gracious enough to release him from the contract. Ex-'New Avenger' Gareth Hunt stepped into Bind's shoes for 'Licensed To Love & Kill'.