Hanky Panky (1982)

Gene Wilder: Michael Jordon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ransom : What's your connection with Janet Dunn?

  Michael Jordon : [nonchalantly]  She's my brother.

• [Michael and Kate are left in control of a small plane with a pilot who has had an apparent heart attack after a bout of burping and belching. A voice on the radio told them they're entering prohibited government airspace and, in grabbing the radio and handing it to Kate to talk, Michael broke the cabling to the transmitter] 

  Michael Jordon : I knew this would happen! I dreamt about this all my life!

  Kate Hellman : Get ahold of yourself.

  Michael Jordon : Since I was a little boy, I dreamt this was gonna happen to me!

  Kate Hellman : Just get ahold of...

  Michael Jordon : Wait a minute. Ask Mr. Puckett: do I bring it in nose first or tail first?

  Kate Hellman : Michael he's *dead*!

  Michael Jordon : *Don't* say he's dead! Ask him!

  Kate Hellman : I can't ask him; he's dead!

  Michael Jordon : Will you shut up and ask him?

  Kate Hellman : [shouting]  Mr. Puckett! Should he bring it in nose first or tail first?

  [no response] 

  Michael Jordon : [calmly]  What'd he say?

  Kate Hellman : [pounding Michael, screaming]  *Michael, he's dead!*

  Michael Jordon : [in angry denial]  He is not dead, God-!

  Kate Hellman : Yes he is! Do something!

  Michael Jordon : [fumbles around the controls]  Where are the wheels?

  Kate Hellman : I don't know. Where are the wheels?

  Michael Jordon : Where are the wheels?

  Kate Hellman : [sarcastically]  Oh, why don't you ask Mr. Puckett where the wheels are?

  Michael Jordon : Ha, ha, ha! And why can't I ask Mr. Puckett where the wheels are? Miss Smartass?

  Kate Hellman : Ah...

  Michael Jordon : Go on, say it!

  Kate Hellman : Oh, because he's dead.

  Michael Jordon : [re-angered]  Will you stop saying he's *dead*? He has *gas*!

• [Kate successfully repairs and starts the fuel truck, then crashes it out the hangar doors, making their escape] 

  Kate Hellman : Not bad, huh?

  Michael Jordon : What?

  Kate Hellman : [shouting]  Not bad, huh?

  Michael Jordon : [exclaiming]  You want compliments *now*?

• Kate Hellman : Do something!

  Michael Jordon : I am doing something! I'm crashing an airplane!

• [Michael and Janet burst into the back of a taxi from opposite sides at the same time, bumping heads into shoulders] 

  Michael Jordon : Oh, goddamn...

  [sees Janet for the first time] 

  Michael Jordon : [to Janet]  I love you!

  Janet Dunn : Get out of my cab!

  Michael Jordon : Where is it? Show it to me.

  Janet Dunn : [shouting over him]  Get out of my cab right now!

  Michael Jordon : I'd love to, just tell me which one it is.

  Janet Dunn : Driver!

  Janet Dunn : [through gritted teeth to Michael]  Get out of my cab.

  Michael Jordon : This one is *my* cab.

  Cab Driver : Nah-ah!

  [the Driver turns to look back] 

  Cab Driver : It's *my* cab. Now, will one of you tell me where to take it?

  Michael Jordon : Where do you wanna go, honey?

  Janet Dunn : [sees her pursuer behind them, looking for her]  Uh...

  Michael Jordon : To your place or to mine?

  Janet Dunn : [with false calm]  I don't care. Let's just go.

  Michael Jordon : Just go straight up Park Avenue, all right? We'll tell you exactly where once we finish negotiating.

  [a man in a dark suit and fedora watches their departure and takes note of the cab's plates. And so begins Michael Jordon's entanglement]