The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (1983 TV Movie)

Fairuza Balk: Beth Bradley

Quotes 

• Beth Bradley : [to the camera about the Herdman's visit to church]  Before the service was over, they cleaned out the collection plates, scribbled on the bibles, and stuck gum all over the pews.

• Charlie Bradley : Mom said Mrs. Slocum was in traction. How can she talk on the phone if she's in traction?

  Beth Bradley : What do you think traction is?

  Charlie Bradley : Like when they put you to sleep.

  Bob Bradley : No such luck.

• Maxine : [referring to a shack exploding]  Who said the Herdmans did it?

  Beth Bradley : They said they did. Ralph said he was the one that stole the chemistry set from Old Man Johnson's garage.

  Alice Wendlekin : Call the police, then they can put Ralph in jail.

  Beth Bradley : Alice, nobody's going to call the police on them.

  Maxine : Because they're kids.

  Beth Bradley : No, because they burned down the jail.