- [first lines]
- Ichabod William: I told that goddamn son-of-a-bitch to have my fuckin' car ready by five-goddamn-o'clock this afternoon, that asshole! Now I gotta drive around all fuckin' weekend in this goddamned rat-tailed piece of shit. It's bad enough I gotta drive this truck all week, now I gotta fuckin' drive it around all fuckin' weekend!
- Mary: William, why do you cus so much? I'll bet if you could go a whole day without cussin, you'd just roll over and die.
- Ichabod William: Well, goddamn Mary! If you had to drive around all weekend in this rat-tailed piece of shit, you'd cus too!
- Mary: Well, I haven't said a single cus word yet, right?
- Ichabod William: That ain't the point. You ain't gotta drive it.
- Mary: But I still gotta ride in it, right?
- Mary: William, calm down. Stop cussin' at those motorists. They can't help it if they're fat. Besides, the way you drink you'd end up with a beer gut before long and then what? You'd cus yourself?
- Ichabod William: Now Mary, a fuckin' beer gut ain't the same thing as being fat.
- Mary: Oh, they do. They do.
- Ichabod William: They don't fuckin' count! I know a lotta people that got a beer gut and ain't fat.
- Mary: Like who?
- Ichabod William: Like, Cowboy. And he's a skinny-ass motherfucker!
- Mary: Oh, please! If there's a law against being fat, there ought to be a law against beer guts too.
- Ichabod William: There ain't no one gonna vote for it.
- Mary: Well, I would. You drink too much!
- Ichabod William: Mary... just get off my back. I had a real hard day at work. I'm driving around in this rat-tailed piece of shit truck. I take you to a lotta nice places all the time, and you just give me a lotta shit and I don't need it!
- Skipper: What the hell's the matter with you?
- Claude: Marcy kicked my damn ass out. Pissed me off! She said she didn't give a flying fuckwad what I'd do. She said I could sleep in my truck for all she cared. Shit! She loves that yappy dog of hers more then she loves me. I tell you one thing, that damn dog of hers never had to sleep outside. And I never took a shit on the carpet.