Mr. Mom (1983)

Teri Garr: Caroline Butler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Caroline : [after arguing about sudden weight gain]  Where are you going?

  Jack Butler : [while eating a slice of pizza]  I'm going to sleep on the FAT couch, if I can fit through the door

• Caroline : Look guys, take it easy on daddy. Remember, he's a rookie.

• Jack Butler : My brain is like oatmeal. I yelled at Kenny today for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows, and I'm liking them! I'm losing it.

  Caroline : Honey, I know what you're talking about. I've been there myself, alright?

  Jack Butler : Well, if you're so unhappy, why don't you say something about it?

  Caroline : Because I wasn't unhappy! Look, maybe I was a little confused, maybe I was a little frustrated, but I knew what I was doing was important, because it means something to raise human beings. What saw me through was pride.

  [Jack takes the bedspread, pillow and a pizza slice before heading out] 

  Caroline : I've pride in this house, I've pride with my kids, and I've pride being Mrs. Jack Butler! Where are you going?

  Jack Butler : [Eating pizza before going]  I'm goin' downstairs to sleep on the fat couch if I can get through the door.

  [Jack leaves the room] 

  Caroline : Well, you should take pride with some of that FAT, Porky!

  [Caroline slams the door] 

• Alex : Wow, what a house!

  Jack Butler : Yeah, probably mortgaged to the eyeballs.

  Caroline : Not this one, his great grandfather - Commander Richardson - built it.

  Jack Butler : Eh... hand me down.

• Caroline : Do you want to go over the list one more time?

  Jack Butler : No, I don't want to go over the list! OK, let's go over the list.

• Caroline : [after viewing the tuna art sketches]  Well frankly, none of these would convince to buy your tuna

  Phil : Come on, Ron. She doesn't know a tuna fish from a Cheerio!

  Doris : Damned good thing we didn't take the Cheerio account!

  [Table laughter] 

  Caroline : [Disgusted]  Well... When was the last time any of YOU, were in a supermarket?

• Caroline : Well, thanks. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting.

  Ron Richardson : Oh, not at all. I was just having a little chat with your, ah, hubby, ah

  Jack Butler : Jack.

  Ron Richardson : Jack.

  Caroline : Yeah, he's... quite a guy.

• Jack Butler : Take the money, Caroline!

  Caroline : I can't.

  Jack Butler : It was a bet! A bets a bet!

• Jack Butler : Okay, here's the joke of the day. What's green and rides through the west?

  Alex , Kenny : The Lone Pickle.

  Jack Butler : Okay, they're onto me, hon.

  Caroline : We're all onto you, honey.

• Jack Butler : It'll be fun. I'll bet you a hundred to one you don't get a job before I do.

  Caroline : Jack...

  Jack Butler : Okay, come on, doll face.

• Caroline : You have applied to everything on wheels from Toyota to Schwinn. You're gonna get a job any day now, really.

• Jack Butler : You think you're gonna get a job before I do?

  Caroline : Oh, Jack, this isn't a contest.

  Jack Butler : No, hon, this'll be good. This is a good idea. We'll make it a contest.

• Ron Richardson : You've got a - well, let's just say you're an *extremely* attractive woman.

  Caroline : Well, thank you. And my husband thanks you too.

• Alex : Mommy.

  Caroline : Yes?

  Alex : It's a *jungle* out there.

  Caroline : Very funny, Jack.

  Jack Butler : What? I don't know where he gets this.

• Caroline : I'm not qualified to judge anything, really. It's my first day...

  Ron Richardson : You ever eat tuna fish?

  Caroline : Well, yes.

  Ron Richardson : You're qualified.

• Jack Butler : Wanna talk about the beard? All right. The beard's in its transitional stage right now, that's all. When it comes in, it's gonna look great. It's gonna look like that movie star, what's his name?

  Caroline : Orson Welles?

  Jack Butler : No. Uh, Orson Welles. Oh, I get it. Fat jokes, right? That's real funny. Yeah, I've put on a couple of pounds. So what, come on.

• Caroline : As soon as this is over, I want to go back to the hotel and soak in a hot tub. That's *all* I want to do.

  Ron Richardson : Yeah. That sounds like a great idea.

• Doris (TV Repairwoman) : How about three days at the office and two days at home?

  Caroline : Thanks.

  Ron Richardson : There's no way I can do that.