Chattanooga Choo Choo (1984) Poster

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6/10
A Bit Corny at Times but a Good Comedy All the Same
Uriah4311 November 2022
This film begins with an unscrupulous businessman by the name of "Burt" (George Kennedy) spending some time with his mistress "Maggie Jones" (Barbara Eden) when he suddenly realizes that he is late for an important party in honor of his extremely rich father-in-law "Alonzo Dillard" (Parley Bear) who is celebrating his 75th birthday. Yet even though his tardiness doesn't go unnoticed, things are quickly forgotten when Alonzo just happens to die that very day. Naturally, having only one child, Alonzo pretty much leaves his vast fortune to his daughter "Estelle" (Bridget Hanley). However, Burt is also promised the hefty sum of $1 million under one condition--that he gets an old locomotive known as the Chattanooga Choo Choo back in working condition and, once that is accomplished, has it driven all the way from the Pennsylvania Station in New York to Chattanooga within 24 hours. Just like in the song. Needless to say, Burt is elated at this news and even uses this unexpected opportunity as a publicity stunt to promote his newly acquired football team which he plans to relocate to Chattanooga as well. What he doesn't count on, however, is Maggie booking passage on the train in the mistaken belief that he has obtained his divorce from Estelle and wants to hastily get married on that same train ride to Chattanooga. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I really wasn't expecting too much from this movie as it hadn't caught my attention until fairly recently. Even so, given the fact that it had George Kennedy, Barbara Eden and Joe Namath (as "Newt Newton"), I figured I had to give it a try. And I was glad I did as it turned out to be a surprisingly good comedy, all things considered. A bit corny at times, but a good comedy all the same. Be that as it may, while this film might not appeal to everyone, I enjoyed it for the most part and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly above average.
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3/10
Look at all the empty boxcars....
Mister-69 October 1999
I have a theory about "Chattanooga Choo Choo".

This was a made-for-TV movie (look at the cast!) and somehow the cans made their way to movie theaters instead of the network and inadvertently got shown at your local theater. That's the only explanation I can offer for why such a stupid movie got released.

Eden's first major release in a decade is certainly nothing Major Nelson would approve of. With speeding trains, laxative, purple clothes, glue in peepholes, stuttering cheerleaders and Joe Namath, there is plenty of goofiness but nothing special. When George Kennedy in his underwear doesn't make you laugh, you know there's something seriously wrong.

This "Choo Choo" is just a time-filler between an episode of "Taxi" and your local news.

Three stars. No go, Joe.
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1/10
Train to Nowhere...
mlionfire26 January 2005
Wonderful colors.... Hmmmmm what else can I say..... awful storyline, awful comedy, awful acting, just plain awful... even back then.... I'm always surprised when actors of the caliber of George Kennedy and Barbara Eden have their names associated with such turkeys as this movie.

It is well filmed, in glorious, almost surreal colors, which I think is it's only saving grace... I sat through this tripe hoping(nay, praying)that it would somehow lift itself out of the mediocrity that is established in the first few scenes.... But no, I was disappointed... This waste of celluloid will remain just that.... and I'm truly amazed at how rubbish like this actually gets released.... But the colors were wonderful.
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Well Pardon Me Boy.
tfrizzell12 November 2003
Totally incoherent and really down-right dumb mess follows a cast of characters on a train of all things. The title, based on the very popular song that came about in the 1940s, is the only real connection for the episodic situations. As bad as this is it may still win a few over with its stupidity. Joe Namath (former New York Jets quarterback) makes the largest impression in a whacked cast that includes Barbara Eden ("I Dream of Jeannie" fame) and the usually dependable George Kennedy. With all the shortcomings (they are way too numerous to go into) I still ended up having a fair time on the ride. Not near enough for a recommendation of course, but I have seen much worse in my time. 2.5 out of 5 stars.
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2/10
Derailed at the station.
Hup234!11 October 2001
Even rail buffs will be turned off by this waste of celluloid. A non-connected, early-'80s "Porky"-style adolescent string of puns and bathroom humor that is an insult to anyone who has rented this expecting some railroad action. In fact, the train itself is hardly seen. Get "Silver Streak" instead.
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2/10
A sure worst 10 member
tedcpa4 September 2002
Strangely watchable, but not at one sitting!!!! Just look at the cast and story - NFL owner dies, leaves team to son-in-law (Kennedy)if he recreates travel of Chat Choo Choo to song (leaves Pennsylvnaia station at a quarter to four, etc) who is married to Hanley (Here Come the Brides, remember?), mistress is Eden, coach of team Namath, etc etc etc. Maybe if I could get a pan and scan edition of just Hanley?
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1/10
The Chattanooga Boo Boo.
mark.waltz17 January 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I wouldn't call what the actors doing here called acting. It's showing off, rather badly, much like some of the worst TV movies of the decade before (a few of which starred Barbara Eden), and not in the least bit funny. With wide eyed pleading, George Kennedy gives his worst performance, playing the owner of the choo choo heading from New York Penn to Chattanooga, and frankly, the Cassandra Crossing is a much preferred route.

Cheating on his wife Bridget Hanley with Eden, he's promised to divorce his wife to marry her. He's also dead set against daughter Melissa Sue Anderson marrying Christopher McDonald and goes out of his way to stop that engagement and ensure she dates the wealthy James Horan. There's ogling football players aboard (including Joe Namath) and some oddball cheerleaders, part of a team that Kennedy owns. Absolutely no laughs in this one, making it possibly one of the worst comedies of the 80's. I'm sure Eden and Kennedy avoided talking about this year's later when they crossed paths on "Dallas".
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10/10
Chattanooga Ha!Ha!
GOWBTW13 August 2020
For the lovers of trains, this movie is right up the rails! Barbara Eden of "I Dream of Jeanine", and a lot of celebrities like George Kennedy, football great Joe Namath, Melissa Sue Anderson of "Little House on the Prairie" and other to name a few. The railroad patriarch celebrates his 75th birthday, his son is seeing another woman, is late to his party, sending his granddaughter pictures of her fiance with twins, so she can get engaged with a Duke. But when the patriarch dies, he wills out the requests to his entrusted people: his porter, Woodrow(Davis Roberts), Estelle(Bridget Hanley), Jennie(Melissa Sue Anderson), and Bert(Kennedy) with the condition of being prompt with the train being on time. It may seem like things are going to plan, however, Bert leaves his wife at the station, the girlfriend slipped aboard the train without him knowing. The ex-fiance is determined to get her back. He later found out that the pictures were doctored up,and the Duke was a fraud. More hilarity ensues when one of the football players is so hard up, that he drilled a hole to spy on the cheerleaders. I laughed a lot on this film, even the outtakes were memorable. This movie is for train enthusiasts and lovers of the great song. All aboard to the rails of hilarity. Have plenty to eat watching this goofy film. 3.5 out of 5 stars!
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10/10
Great, Hilarious Movie For Fun loving Viewers, Great Cast
pat-17617 June 2002
I enjoyed every minute of this. George Kennedy as Bert, a potential inheritor of his father's fortune was great. Barbara Eden as his fluzzy girl friend Maggie Jones was absolutely perfect and her handling of Bert, her overbearing, possessive, bumbling boyfriend was very believable Joe Namath, the football great, provided a love interest. The trip on an old train with the objective of making a required schedule and the intervening wide variety of shenanegans make this a really fun movie. Of course a little bathroom humor which is thrown in, might turn off a few straight laced people, but I found it funny because it was far from obscene. Overall, I found the acting of Barbara Eden, George Kennedy and Joe Namath excellent and hard to top.
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Chatanooga Cho Choo
Coxer9920 July 1999
Fun-filled cast serves up the laughs in this sitcom style comedy about an unscrupulous football team owner and his endeavors to live up to his father in law's will.
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