- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: [Bob and Mike are carrying a very drunk Slam to the truck]
- [Slam talking drunk]
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: I'm sorry everyone.
- Bob Cody: There are two kinds of drunks, those that are sorry and those that soon will be.
- Tim Pearson: [Tim is riding in the tow truck with Slam cause Slam is towing Tim's dad's Cadillac] Man, I feel so stupid.
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: Boy, you just discover the oldest sexual position in the book.
- Tim Pearson: What?
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: The Foolish position.
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: [Slam pulls the tow truck to a bowling alley and says to Tim] You just got to remember, your brains are between your ears and not your legs.
- Mickey: [Mickey, the bowling alley owner comes out of the building and talks to Slam, he also notices Tim with the mud on him] Slam, things are a little rough out at the speedrome tonight, huh?
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: My friend here had a problem out at County Line Bridge.
- Mickey: [Mickey makes a joke and says to Tim] Out there baiting your hook, huh? Catch anything?
- [Mickey laughs]
- Bonnie Clark: [Tim and Bonnie making love in the back seat of a Cadillac parked on the side of a stream] Oh Tim!
- Tim Pearson: Oh Bonnie!
- Tim Pearson: Are we moving?
- Bonnie Clark: Everything's moving, the whole world is moving.
- Tim Pearson: [Tim looks up to see the car is sinking into the stream] Bonnie, the whole car is moving!
- Mr. Pearson: You better straighten out that attitude of yours mister, or you and me are gonna go to the mat!
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: Where you going?
- Candy Webster: I told you.
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: Told me what?
- Candy Webster: I'm going marketing, honey.
- Ernie 'Slam' Webster: Dressed like that?
- Candy Webster: Well, I was gonna go naked but my ass sticks to the car seat! Bye, honey...