Sandy Ward: Sistrunk
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Quotes
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Lt. Mauser : [in the squad room where Mauser is seen wearing a horrible-looking wig] Well, it seems that yours truly was the object of a malicious prank. Now, can anybody in here tell me...
[exposes his hands covered in black glue residue]
Lt. Mauser : How this happened?
Carey Mahoney : I can, sir, and if you don't stop that, you could go blind.
[the other officers start chuckling as Mauser and Proctor react in fury]
Lt. Mauser : You think you're funny, don't you, Mahoney? Well, you're on report.
[to Proctor]
Lt. Mauser : Put him on report.
[Proctor immediately gets out his notepad as an angry Captain Lassard enters the room covered in spray-paint graffiti]
Lt. Mauser : We are not going to leave this room until we find out what happened!
[Lassard angrily slams his coat on the table as he looks at Lassard]
Lt. Mauser : What happened?
Pete Lassard : [annoyed] What's going on here?
Lt. Mauser : Oh, nothing, sir. I was just reprimanding your men.
Pete Lassard : Oh, the hell with your goddamn reprimands.
Lt. Mauser : No, sir, you don't understand.
Pete Lassard : Shut up, Lieutenant, I have something to say!
Lt. Mauser : [shows Lassard his hands] Sir, would you take a look at my hands?
Pete Lassard : I think it's a matter of personal hygiene. I am talking about public safety!
Lt. Mauser : [under his breath] Yes, sir.
Pete Lassard : [to the officers] Now, listen up, everybody. This is serious. We've got to do something. This is war! Now, we didn't start it, but we are going to finish it. I don't care if we have to work time in a half, I don't care if we have to work double-time, but mark my words, we are going to nail these punks, starting now!
[everybody jumps from their chairs waving their batons in glory]
Sistrunk : Let's kick ass!
[fires gun in the air, alarming everybody in the room]
