Water (1985)

Michael Caine: Baxter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Baxter Thwaites : How can we maintain decorum if our spiritual leader is trying to put his hand up Miss Cascara's skirt?

  Delores : You prefer he put his hand up my skirt?

  Baxter Thwaites : Ar least you're used to it. You won't scream.

• Baxter Thwaites : We don't get too many visitors here, except people whose ships have run aground.

  Reverend Eric : Almost the entire population is descended from shipwreck victims.

  Baxter Thwaites : Don't underestimate your own contribution, Eric.

• Baxter Thwaites : From there you can return to Cuba.

  Cuban 1 : And face Fidel after this fiasco? No, we go to Miami. I have a cousin there.

  Cuban 2 : Si. We go underground and spread sedition!

  Cuban 1 : No, we deal coke. Like Al Pacino in Scarface.

• [Four men's feet are protruding from beneath a bed] 

  Baxter Thwaites : Are you two digging a hole, or committing an unnatural act?

• Pamela : You once called me an undesirable alien...

  Baxter Thwaites : I lied!

• Delgardo : [singing]  Show me no mercy, give me no bail! I'm ready and willing to go to jail!

  Garfield : Right now!

  Baxter Thwaites : I'm not going to send you to jail for two reasons: first, I refuse to make a martyr of you, and second, it is still being redecorated.

  Miguel : I can't get the paint, boss!

• Baxter Thwaites : It would seem that in the eyes of the British government Cascara is the dot above the I in the word shit.

• [last lines] 

  Baxter Thwaites : Smile, Sir Malcolm, as the cameras catch the dying moments of a British colony.

  Sir Malcolm : Dying moments of my career, you mean. Thanks to this disaterous episode the Right Honourable Margaret Thatcher is going to have my balls.

  Delores : Okay honey, stop this screwing around! I want to leave now!

  Baxter Thwaites : And if she doesn't, Sir Malcolm, Delores cretainly will.

• Rob : This is the Governor's wife!

  Deke Halliday : You mean she's not the hooker?

  Baxter Thwaites : I told you not to wear those heels, darling.

• Baxter Thwaites : At the time, this job was a big promotion for me - youngest governor in the Caribbean. But over the years, I think my wife has resented the restraints the position imposes.

  [Delores and Ben tango into the room and out again] 

  Baxter Thwaites : As you can see. Buenos noches, darling!

  Rob : Where, uh, where did you two meet?

  Baxter Thwaites : On an earlier posting of mine. I sometimes think she misses the bright lights of Guatemala City.

• Delores : Do you remember "Ernesto & Delores?" I was Delores!

  Baxter Thwaites : I'm sure he didn't think you were Ernesto, darling.