The Check Is in the Mail... (1986)

Milt Kogan: Mr. Fanning

Quotes 

• Mr. Fanning : Richard, can I make a suggestion? You're sick.

  Richard Jackson : [laughs]  It's just a stuffy nose. It was kind of chilly, last night. I tried to start a fire in the fireplace, but the wood was still too wet...

  Mr. Fanning : No, no, no, I don't mean in your nose, I mean in your head. What you've been doing to your life, Rich.

  Richard Jackson : It's my life, Mr. Fanning.

  Mr. Fanning : Well, it's my drug store, damn it!

  [looks around at the concerned customers] 

  Mr. Fanning : Look, customers are going across the street for exons. For some strange reason, they don't trust a man who comes to work on a skateboard because his bicycle has a flat tire.

  [Richard walks back to the front counter] 

  Mr. Fanning : Get some help, Richard. I'll pay for it. There's a psychiatrist, comes into the other stores. He's a great guy.

  Richard Jackson : I don't need any help. There's nothing wrong with me. I know exactly what I'm doing.

  Mr. Fanning : Okay, Richard, if that's the way you feel. I'm sorry. I really am.

  Richard Jackson : [laughing]  Are you apologizing to me or are you firing me?

  Mr. Fanning : Let's put it this way. You owe me a dollar eighty-nine for the nasal inhaler.