- Seymour: The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl.
- Mr. Mushnik: Strictly between us - neither is the Audrey One.
- Audrey II: Feed me!
- Seymour: Does it have to be human?
- Audrey II: Feed me!
- Seymour: Does it have to be mine?
- Audrey II: Feeeed me!
- Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?
- Audrey II: [singing] Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long - That's right, boy! - You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.
- Audrey II: Does this look "inanimate" to you, punk? If I can move and I can talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?
- [the masochistic patient meets the sadistic dentist]
- Arthur Denton: I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal.
- Audrey: Seymour's first radio broadcast! I wanted to hear it so bad. I tried to be on time, but...
- Mr. Mushnik: Don't tell me. You got tied up.
- Audrey: No. Just handcuffed a little.
- Seymour: [singing] Poor/All my life I've always been poor/I keep asking God what I'm for/And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not sure"/"Sweep that floor, kid!"/Oh, I started life as an orphan/A child of the street/Here on skid row/He took me in/Gave me shelter, a bed/Crust of bread and a job/Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob/Which I am/So I live...
- Company: Downtown!
- Seymour: That's your home address/You live...
- Company: Downtown!
- Seymour: When your life's a mess/You live...
- Company: Downtown!
- Seymour: Where depression's just status quo.
- Company: Down on Skid Row.
- Seymour: Every household in America? Thousands of you eating... that's what you had in mind all along, isn't it?
- Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock.
- Seymour: We're not talking about one hungry plant here, we're talking about world conquest.
- Audrey II: And I want to thank you.
- Seymour: You're not gonna get away with this. Your kind never does!
- Audrey II: [laughs wildly at Seymour]
- Seymour: I don't care what it takes. Only one of us gets out of here alive!
- Audrey: [of Orin's disappearance] It wouldn't be terrible at all. It would be a miracle, not to mention the money I'd save on epsom salts and ace bandages.
- Seymour: Wait a minute, Audrey II, that's not a very nice thing to say!
- Audrey II: But it's true, isn't it?
- Seymour: No! I don't know anybody who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!
- Audrey II: Mmmmmm, sure you do!
- [Turns Seymour around to look out the window. They see Orin and Audrey. Orin yells at Audrey and at last hits her]
- Patrick Martin: Me and the guys at the home office have been following this plant of yours. We've come up with one incredible idea. We're very proud of it. Picture this: we take leaf cuttings, develop little Audrey IIs and sell them to florist shops across the nation. Pretty soon every household in America could have one.
- Seymour: [concerned] Every household in America!
- Patrick Martin: For starters, kid. Why, this thing could go... worldwide!
- Seymour, Audrey: [to each other, panicked:] *Worldwide*?
- Patrick Martin: With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.
- Audrey: [to Seymour, intrigued:] Bigger than Hula-Hoops?
- [in the Radio station]
- Wink Wilkinson: Gee, I wish you folks could see this. Hey Seymour, where did you get this WEEEEEEEEEEIRD plant?
- Audrey II: [singing] you know the kind'a eats, the kind'a red HOT sweets, the kind'a sticky licky treats I crave!
- Audrey: I got a date.
- Mr. Mushnik: With that same no-goodnik? I'm telling you, Audrey, you don't need a date - you need major medical!
- Audrey II: [singing] If you wanna be profound, if you really gotta justify, take a breath and look around, a lot of folks deserve to die!
- Orin: Look Seymour, this could happen to you. Unless I take immediate action.
- Seymour: [helpless in dentist chair] What's that?
- Orin: [enthusiastically] A drill.
- Seymour: It's rusty!
- Orin: It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this any more. Sturdy. Heavy. Dull!
- Orin: I'm gonna want some gas fer this.
- Seymour: Oh, thank God. I thought you weren't gonna use any.
- Orin: Oh, the gas isn't for you Seymour, it's for me. You see, I wanna really enjoy this.
- Mr. Mushnik: Hey, urchins!
- [bangs on window]
- Mr. Mushnik: Shoo, get outta here!/ No loitering!
- Ronette: Maan, I wasn't loitering/ Were you Crystal?
- Crystal: Not me Ronette, were you Chiffon?
- Mr. Mushnik: You kids should be in school!
- Chiffon: Yeah, but were on a split shift.
- Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till the tenth grade, then we split!
- Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
- Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row/ Ain't no such thing!
- [while undergoing a torturous procedure by Orin Scrivello, DDS]
- Arthur Denton: It's your professionalism that I respect.
- [Seymour points a gun at him]
- Orin: [while wearing a gas mask, sees it] Huh? What the hell's that? A gun?
- [laughs out of control]
- Orin: [sarcastically while laughing still] Kid's got a goddamn revolver Oh, Jesus! I'm in trouble now, huh?
- [Orin laughs still as Seymour goes nervous still pointing the gun at him]
- Orin: Oh, wait till I turn this gas off.
- [takes the cap off by accident]
- Orin: Uh-oh! Oh, give me a hand, would you? No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?
- [laughs again but coughs as he tries to take the mask off]
- Orin: You see, Seymour, I could asphyx...
- [coughs out of control]
- Orin: I could asphyx...
- [continues laughing and coughing until he collapses on the floor]
- Orin: [stops laughing] What'd I ever do to you?
- Seymour: [lowers the gun] Nothing. It's what you did to her.
- Orin: Her who?
- [Seymour does not answer]
- Orin: [finally gets it] Oh... her...
- [Orin then dies from too much nitrous oxide as Seymour goes puzzled]
- [first lines]
- Narrator: On the twenty-third day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places...
- [Seymour recounts how he found Audrey II]
- Seymour: You remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Da-doo!
- Seymour: I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Shoop da-doo.
- Seymour: And I passed by this place, where this old Chinese man...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Chang, da-doo.
- Seymour: He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Snip, da-doo.
- Seymour: 'Cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Da da da da da da-doo.
- Seymour: He didn't have anything unusual there that day.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Nope, da-doo.
- Seymour: So, I was just about to, you know, walk on by...
- Doo-Wop Street Singer: Good for you.
- Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer: [scatting]
- Seymour: When suddenly, and without warning, there was this...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: ...total eclipse of the sun!
- Seymour: It got very dark, and there was this strange humming sound, like something from another world.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Da-doo!
- Seymour: And when the light came back, this weird plant was just sitting there...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Whoop, see-doo.
- Seymour: Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Audrey II!
- Seymour: I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before, but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways, for a dollar ninety-five.
- Audrey II: [Seymour quietly tries to sneak out of the shop with suitcases while the plant is asleep. As he slowly opens the door...] Feed me.
- Seymour: Under NO circumstances.
- Audrey II: FEED me.
- Seymour: [annoyed] I will not, so stop asking.
- Audrey II: Feed me!
- Seymour: [puts down suitcase] No! No more! I can't keep living with the guilt
- Audrey II: [coldly] Tough titty.
- Seymour: You watch your language.
- Audrey II: [stands up to full height] Ooooh, cut the crap! Bring on the meat!
- [Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist]
- Orin: [singing] I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.
- Audrey II: [singing] I got killer buds / A power stem / Nasty pods / And I'm using them! / So better move 'em out / Nature calls / You got my pun? / I'm gonna bust your balls!
- Audrey: [singing] A matchbox of our own, a fence of real chain-link/A grill out on the patio, disposal in the sink/A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine/In a tract house that we share/Somewhere that's green
- [Seymour is attempting to put a plant on a high shelf. The shelving unit falls and the plants crash to the floor]
- Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, what's going on?
- Seymour: Very little, Mr. Mushnik.
- Orin: Stupid woman! Christ, what a friggin' scatterbrain!
- Audrey: I'm sorry, doctor! I'm sorry, doctor!
- Orin: Falls off the motorcycle!
- Audrey: I'm clumsy, doctor! I'm clumsy, doctor!
- Orin: [kicks down the doors] Messes my hair! Get the door open, you little slut!
- Audrey: I'm trying, doctor! I'm trying, doctor!
- Orin: Get the Vitalis! Quick, the Vitalis!
- Audrey: [feeling threatened] I'm out of it!
- Orin: [grabs her] What!
- [Orin slaps her harshly making her cry]
- Seymour: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Is standing beside you
- Audrey: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Showed me I can...
- Seymour: [singing over sustain] Yes you can...
- Patrick Martin: Excuse me! Pardon me, beg your pardon, if you two kids would stop singing for just a moment I've got something I want to discuss with you.
- Mr. Mushnik: Move, move! Move! Stay away!
- [gestures them away from inside his window]
- Mr. Mushnik: No loitering!
- Ronette: Man, I wasn't loitering! Were you, Crystal?
- Crystal: Not me, Ronette! Were you, Chiffon?
- Mr. Mushnik: You oughta be in school!
- Chiffon: Yeah, well, we're on a split shift.
- Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till fifth grade, then we split!
- Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?
- Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row, ain't no such thing!
- Mr. Mushnik: [after Seymour asks why Mushnik is angry at him] Little red dots all over the linoleum, little red spots on the concrete outside - I'm talking blood, Krelborn! I'm talking under my own roof!
- [grabs an axe]
- Mr. Mushnik: An axe murderer!
- [Seymour goes alarmed]
- Audrey II: [sings off-screen] He's got your number now.
- Mr. Mushnik: I saw everything!
- Audrey II: He knows just what you've done.
- Mr. Mushnik: Everything you did to her boyfriend!
- Audrey II: You've got no place to hide.
- Mr. Mushnik: [swings the axe] I saw you chopping him!
- Audrey II: You've got nowhere to run.
- Seymour: [innocently] It's true! I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!
- Audrey II: He knows your life of crime.
- Mr. Mushnik: [points a gun at him] Tell it to the police!
- Audrey II: I think it's suppertime!
- [theatrical cut]
- Seymour: [after saving Audrey from Audrey II] Are you okay?
- Audrey: Yes... No...
- [Audrey collapses]
- Seymour: Audrey! Audrey!
- Audrey: [gets back up] No, I'm okay.
- Seymour: I'm sorry, Audrey, I'm just so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just that somehow it makes things happen - terrible things. Well, I guess I should've stopped when I found out what it lived on, but it was cute and harmless, and we started doing business and making money and you like me...
- Audrey: Seymour! Do you really think I liked you because of that?
- [Seymour goes silent]
- Audrey: I liked you from the day I came to work here.
- Seymour: You mean you still like me, even if I wasn't famous?
- Audrey: [smiles] I'd still love you Seymour.
- Seymour: Really?
- Audrey: All I ever wanted was you... and that sweet little house.
- Seymour: [happily] Oh, Audrey, you're the most wonderful person that ever lived! We're gonna get that little house and everything will be okay somehow, you'll see!
- [sings]
- Seymour: Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you.
- Audrey: [sings] Suddenly Seymour showed me I can!
- Seymour: Yes, you can!
- Orin: [singing] When I was younger, just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shooting puppies with a BB gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said...
- Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: What did she say?
- Orin: She said, "My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way/To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist!/You have a talent for causing things pain/Son, be a dentist/People will pay you to be inhumane/Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood/And teaching would suit you sill less/Son, be a dentist/You'll be a success!"
- Audrey: [singing about her dream home with Seymour] Between our frozen dinners, and our bedtime - 9:15 - we'd snuggle watching Lucy on a big, enormous, 12-inch screen!