- Four losers borrow money from gangsters to bet on a "sure thing", but lose. The gangsters go after them to get their money.
- Four bumbling friends who are down on their luck get an inside tip on a horse race from a con man. In order to place the bet they have to borrow the money from gangsters and then get to the race track in time with the hopes of winning it big.—JenExxifer
- Four misbegotten small-time horse track habitués, Dooley (Tim Conway), Lou (Harvey Korman), Elton (Jack Weston) and Stump (Ted Wass), receive a tip on a horse named French Majesty from a trainer named Santiago (Jorge Cervera), on the condition that they each put up $1,000 for Santiago to lay down his own bet on the horse. They go to loan shark Rosco Fusco's (Joseph Ruskin) representative, DeFranco (George DiCenzo), to ask for a short-term loan of $5,000. When DeFranco tells them that it will cost ten percent, or $800, they argue that ten percent is only $500, but DeFranco insists, and instructs them to come back when they agree to his terms.
Seeking Santiago at the track, Dooley and Elton and run into his groomer, Jelly (Hank Rolike), and notice a photo of Jelly with French Majesty. Jelly tells them about the horse's last victory, three years earlier, caused by French Majesty's burst to the finish line upon seeing Jelly's red shirt. Elton suggests he wear the same red shirt for French Majesty's next race on Wednesday, but Jelly refuses, insisting that the horse's feeble legs will not hold out. When they finally see Santiago, he guarantees Elton and Dooley that French Majesty will win the race if they give they bribe the jockey with a few hundred dollars. They pay the money, and Santiago promises to drug the horse to make him run, demonstrating the steroid's effectiveness on a goat. Relieved, the two gamblers leave Santiago assured that they will be able to repay their loan on time.
On the stable grounds, Dooley spots a woman named Nicki Dixon (Stella Stevens) preparing to ride and they banter. Although Nicki clearly wants nothing to do with Dooley, Elton believes that she has a romantic interest in his friend.
That night, Dooley and Elton join Lou and Stump for drinks at a local bar, and Lou suggests that Dooley seduce Nicki to get the money rather than accepting DeFranco's loan.
Driving to Nicki's luxury hotel in his decrepit car and wearing his best toupée, Dooley asks the valet if the hotel has self-parking. After Nicki offers Dooley cheese fondue and champagne, she asks him to open the bottle and he awkwardly sprays her with the bubbly wine. Using the accident as an excuse to "slip into something more comfortable," Nicki leaves the room, and Dooley lights a cigarette. Nicki's dog jumps into Dooley's lap, causing him to drop his cigarette behind the couch pillows and douse the subsequent fire in the fondue sauce. Nicki returns to the living room and invites Dooley to join her in her outdoor hot tub. While Dooley changes into a borrowed bathing suit, Nicki gets into the tub holding a large knife, which she hides between the folds of a towel. Dooley, still wearing his shoes and socks, emerges with the too-tiny bathing suit briefs over his own underwear, As he starts to talk business, Nicki commands he get into the tub and tells him he resembles her first lover, a jockey named Lyle Dorf, who ruined her life by cheating on her with another woman. After spending a period of time at a sanitarium, she was unable to relocate Lyle, and now believes that he has disguised himself as Dooley. Determined to ensure "Lyle" will never again be unfaithful, she throws the knife at Dooley, pinning his toupée to the patio door.
The next day, Dooley and his friends go to DeFranco's mansion where he gives the four losers an envelope containing the cash for Fusco's loan. Before they leave, DeFranco gives them a positive tip on Papa Chippy, a horse owned by Fusco that is also running in the race on Wednesday. Later, as they discuss their situation, Dooley opens the envelope to discover Fusco mistakenly gave them $5,000 extra.
On the day of the big race, Stump is late picking up his friends and claims to know a shortcut to the track, but the car blows a tire, and Stump does not have a spare. They flag down a passing pickup truck and persuade the driver to take them to the track.
At the track, the four men run into DeFranco and Fusco, who is accompanied by Nicki. As they leave Stump and Elton behind to place the bet, Dooley and Lou go to the stable to slip Santiago their jockey's bribe and make certain that everything will go as planned. Waiting for the race to start, Nicki tells Fusco he looks like Lyle Dorf and suggests they meet after the races, secretly hiding the knife in her purse. Dooley tells Josh, another race track attendee, about their French Majesty tip, but Josh informs him that Santiago is a fraud who rubs chili powder on the noses of small animals, suggesting that the so-called "mystery drug" will make the horses run.
In a panic, Lou, Stump, and Dooley attempt to stop Elton from placing the bet, but cannot find him in time. As the race is being run, Elton desperately remembers Jelly's story of the horse's last win, and the four friends scatter in search of a red shirt. Dooley rips Nicki's scarlet dress from her back and burst onto the track waving the cloth. Dooley and Stump are arrested before they can learn the winner, but are later bailed out of jail by Lou and Elton, who say that they lost the race. One of Fusco's men threatened Elton for their debts, but when Lou tells Elton to show Dooley and Stump his bruises from the encounter, the men open their jackets to reveal thousands of dollars of winnings concealed inside.
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