Assassination

Assassination (1987)

** (out of 4)

Charles Bronson fans are the only ones who should even attempt to make it through this outrageously stupid film from Cannon. Bronson plays a Secret Service agent who ends up having to guard an ultra-snotty First Lady (Jill Ireland) and soon enough a group of hit men are after her. I'll never accuse any Cannon/Bronson movie of being high art but of all the films they made together this one here has to be the dumbest. In fact, I might go even further and call this the dumbest action movie of the decade and that reason alone almost makes this turkey worth sitting through. As a Bronson fan I must admit that I can just about sit through anything that he's in but my patience are really tested here but thankfully the film reaches a "so bad it's entertaining" level. There are about fifteen major illogical points that could be thrown at this film but that would take way too much effort to write out and I'm sure most people could write a book worth of dumb things that the characters do here. I must admit it's rather funny seeing a Secret Service agent and the First Lady jump from one cheap motel to another and going from one small town to the next and it never really being clear why they don't just have more security with them. There are countless times you'll be scratching your head as to why the agent just keeps the First Lady in constant danger but I doubt the screenwriters were really worried about logical points as their main concern was getting to the next item to blow up. The action scenes here are pretty weak and campy as is the PG-rated violence. I've heard this wasn't originally meant for Bronson but he took it just so he could be in another film with his wife (this would be their last together). The two are charming enough together even though it's pretty clear neither are giving it their all. The supporting players don't fair much better but I doubt anyone will be tuning in to see them. If you're not a fan of Bronson then it's best you stay far away from this unless you just like corny action pictures.