The Lair of the White Worm

I've heard the complaints before, from men of all walks of life: "SHE wants to watch some syrupy romantic slush starring Hugh Grant, I want to watch something with hot, naked, snake-worshipping chicks!"

Well, complain no more! Here's a flick that's got both in one! That's right, England-cum-America's favorite foppish, eye-lid-fluttering sex symbol does battle with naked half-snake-half-human devil worshippers, giant white worms, and the forces of evil!

Well, actually Hugh only kills one snake-human hybrid, and it's an old lady. And he keeps pretty far away from the action-packed finale face-off, letting his odd shut-in pal Angus do all the fighting. But you DO get to see the star of "Notting Hill" slice an old lady in half with a broad sword, and that alone is worth the price of admission!

I enjoyed this movie, what with it's quaint, folksy atmosphere, it's kilt-wearin' heroes, and it's sexy villainess who seduces a hapless boy scout (!) into entering her hot tub of evil. There's even public-access-esque dream sequences where a Sid & Marty Krofft-type snake puppet molests Jesus Christ while nuns are tortured- and who doesn't want to see that?

A very strange movie, to say the least.

This movie definitely belongs in the, "it's so bad it's good" category. However, the more times I see it, I'm thinking it's more like, "It's so bad, it's GREAT"! A good movie is in some ways is like a great plate of Italian food. It needs a firm base, some zesty sauce, and just the right amount of cheese.

I first heard about this movie when I was in high school. Everyone around me was catching it on cable except me. Everyone seemed to have the same opinion of the movie, "man, it's so weird". When I finally got to see the movie, we were over at a party at a practical strangers house in a town far from our own at 3 in the morning; an uncomfortable situation. But, when this movie came on, for some reason it made everything alright. I saw it years later in a bargain bin VHS rack and I had to get it. It was by far the best $5 I've ever spent. This is one of those movies that is great to watch late at night with a good buzz on. I'm sure it annoys the hell out of my wife, but this movie makes me laugh like a little kid.

Filmwise, the movie is terribly made (or, if you're a Ken Russel fan, wonderfully made). There's holes in the script, the acting is bad, the props even worse; but there are so many insanely bad puns in this movie that it gets more entertaining each time you see it.

I know I haven't said too much about the movie, but perhaps that's for the best. To sum it all up, it's a great flick if you're in the mood for a real cheesy B grade movie.

I'm not going to strain my brain trying to work out just what Ken Russell was trying to achieve with 'The Lair Of The White Worm', but he ended up with a semi-classic slice of campy, sleazy trash that is full of nudge, nudge, wink, wink smutty humor. There's absolutely no way anyone could take this one seriously! I haven't read Bram Stoker's novel so I don't know how much the movie has to do with it, but Russell takes EVERY opportunity for to show a phallic symbol or a puerile gag, and that, added to the tongue in cheek performances from the cast (especially Peter Capaldi, Hugh Grant and the delicious Amanda Donohoe), makes this one of the silliest and most entertaining movies you'll ever see. Donohoe is just brilliant, the monster is cheesy, the blatant gags will make you roll your eyes and groan, and there are a few extraordinary Russell touches in the very brief, quasi-psychedelic "visions" experienced by a few of the characters. 'The Lair Of The White Worm' is certainly not for everybody, but there's nothing else quite like it, not even in Russell's very strange ouevre, and if you "get it" it's a complete hoot!

Supposedly based on a novel by Bram Stoker, LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM is an exercise in high camp surrealism for maverick British director Ken Russell. Russell crafts a unique film that mixes a solid mystery narrative with some terribly crude symbolism, some outrageously bad taste moments, and more camp sequences than you can shake a stick at. Quality-wise it's very poor in places, but at the same time it's rather amusing and, dare I say it, fun.

DR WHO star Peter Capaldi plays a youthful Scots archaeologist who digs up the skull of a god in somebody's back garden - as you do. Meanwhile, Hugh Grant is a splendidly upper class toff - what else? - whose ancestor was the chap who killed the Lambton worm. And then there's dangerous seductress Amanda Donohoe, having a ball as a femme fatale hiding a dark secret in the depths of her country pile.

LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM certainly contains some unforgettable moments, most of them involving the moments when Donohoe's true form is revealed; the makeup appears to homage Barbara Steele's character in CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR. There are some fun special effects here, alongside THOSE unforgettable nightmare sequences which are the stand-out highlights for me. The ending is neatly achieved and there's a nice supporting role for character actor Paul Brooke playing the local copper. Truly this is a one-of-a-kind production that has to be seen to be believed.

Before Hugh Grant hit the big-time playing floppy-haired fops in rom-coms, he mostly played floppy haired-fops in costume period dramas; an exception to this was Ken Russell's The Lair of The White Worm (1988), in which Hugh went against type by playing modern-day floppy-haired fop Lord James D'Ampton, who teams up with archaeologist Angus Flint (played by the new Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi) and B&B owner Mary Trent (Sammi Davis) to defeat a pagan snake-woman (Amanda Donohoe) who worships a giant, ancient, subterranean wyrm (another name for dragon).

This being a Russell movie, there is plenty of surreal weirdness on offer, with psychedelic dream sequences, Christian-baiting blasphemous imagery, phallic symbolism, and cheap titillation courtesy of Donohoe, who spends a lot of her time naked, and Catherine Oxenberg, who is stripped to her undies as a sacrifice for the creature. However, what could have been extremely controversial actually proves to be rather amusing thanks to the director's tongue-in-cheek B-movie approach (some might call it 'camp') and the tacky special effects; ultimately, this is silly, harmless fun for the cult movie crowd.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7 for the Concorde dream sequence, which is downright trippy.